It’s hard to open up :( #comedy #men #mensmentalhealth #relationships #situationship #dating

Hey Jamie, what time do you want to head

out? What's going on?

>> Hi there, Philip Koski from Deflect and

Deny. Please take a seat.

>> I'm here today because my client feels

that he's not been opening up to enough

emotionally and would like to change

that.

>> Um, okay. I don't know why your client

can't talk to me directly, but sure.

>> Great. Just to establish a timeline, you

and Mr. Jamie Wolf have been dating for

5 months. Is that correct?

>> I don't know. Have me and Mr. Jamie Wolf

over here been dating for 5 months or am

I just a girl that he sleeps with raw,

texts every day, shares all his

innermost hopes and dreams to, and I'm

still not his girlfriend.

>> So, my client feels they need a bit more

time before committing to a long-term

strategic partnership.

>> More time? Jamie, what more do you want

from me?

>> Please do not speak to my client

directly.

My client's hesitation is not a

reflection of your conduct, but rather

their readiness to settle down. Well,

can you please remind your client that

he's 29 and not exactly gaining hair?

>> Could you please have that stricken from

the record? My client is showing no

signs of male pattern baldness at this

time.

>> Listen, Jamie, if you don't want to

commit to me, that's fine. Just have the

balls to end it yourself.

>> To clarify, my client wants to date you,

but his reluctance stems from

self-esteem issues and financial

instability, which he feels would cause

you to leave him.

>> Okay. Well, could you ask your client if

he has ever considered that I don't care

if he's not rich or where he wants to be

in life and maybe I just like him for

him?

>> Um, I'd like to call a quick recess.

Thank you.

>> How did we not think of that?

>> Maybe she does like you for you. How is

that even possible? I don't know.

Listen, I wouldn't normally do this, but

[panting]

I think we settle.

>> I don't want to settle. Listen, brother.

You don't want to be single after 30.

You don't know what's out there.

>> What's Oh, this is bad. It's really bad.

Okay, just open up your feelings. Just

share. It's easy. It's just saying

words.

>> Are you sure?

>> Yeah. We're taking this deal. Okay.

Please. This is scary.

>> Scary.

>> In light of Miss Quitsky's recent

testimony, my client is prepared to open

up and after an emotional review would

like to proceed with a partnership. A

partnership. Uh, I'll draw up a

contract. I want him to post me on his

story and not just an arm. Full face,

body, and a heart emoji.

>> Miss Quittowski, uh, with all due

respect, we've already offered more than

most men would in this situation.

>> I'll do it.

>> Great.

>> Okay. Well, one last thing before we

adjourn. My client has been curious for

a while now. Do you ever fart or poo?

I mean, that's

>> Veronica, you do not need to answer

that. Hi there. I'm Salazaki from

Feelings Aref Facts LLP, and my client's

bodily functions are none of your

business.