Unbreak My Heart • EP301 | Drama Queens

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queens everybody I missed you guys so

much thank you for taking care of me

last week and filling in um we're back

with a fury this week it is the season 3

premiere um so much happened in this

episode including oh my God a ton of ADR

which will explain what that is but

first things first Haley came home uh

the night of the fire which Dan somehow

survived like a cockroach honestly like

Dan is so devious um 3 months have

passed Nathan ended up going to High

Flyers he still doesn't know if he can

trust Haley again

Brook moves into Nathan and Haley's old

apartment which is my favorite set like

I love hanging out in that set and I

love that they never made us give it up

we just rotated it uh Payton is still

emotionally struggling over what now

like what now uh her birth mother and

then Brooke and Lucas start casually

dating were they dating though like I

don't know the whole yeah the whole like

friends with benefit thing in the early

2000s was weird cuz it was like kind of

this like girl power movement of we're

not going to be your girlfriend we're

just going to kiss anybody cuz we can be

like boys um feel like we got kind of

Hoodwinked on that yeah we did I think

we got duped what guy made this up and

said it was our idea you know what it is

the same guy you know how like

Victoria's Secret when they started

doing like all the Angel T like fashion

shows we were told like oh this is girl

power love your body and then we find

out all these years later it was like

super misogynistic and just dudes yeah I

feel like that's the movement they're

like tits up girls tits up oh my God

just kissing yeah it's interesting I

will say as much as I'm like meh on the

on the idea what I did like is that the

the director of this episode um Greg

prange who was you know our on-site

producer who knew us well he did like to

lean

into what more was going on with the

characters than was on the page because

he was present for every single episode

yeah and so I like he cared about these

characters I know he really did he

really did and I liked that he offered

me space as an actor to say the lines

we're going to be casual and whatever

but then to show that it was a defense

mechanism of course Brooke was testing

Lucas

to see if he would play by her rules and

keep showing up and sort of earn her

trust and I I'm glad we had someone

familiar to do that with because

otherwise I think it would have just

felt icky well they would have wanted

you to make it like sexy and it's not

it's you're totally right when you say

it's a defense mechanism it's how far

can I push you and you'll keep your

promise to support me and be you know be

my guy which Brooke needs after what

she's been through with the last you

guys and with Lucas also like she needs

to be able to push a little bit and know

that he's not just going to Blow Away

With the Wind yeah she Brook

also came back like Sabrina from Paris

with these

bangs that I loved so much I love these

bangs when was the last time you wait

have you done this again

Sophia yeah I cut things since then God

I I can't remember if it was like just

after my 30th birthday I can't believe

you didn't cut pandemic bangs everybody

on the planet cut pandemic bangs and

you're so good with

them I really do enjoy them but y'all I

have a cck and so unless I blow dry them

out like they go in two directions so

I've learned that bangs are a bit high

maintenance for me but man did I like

these bangs and I feel Vindicated that

all the ladies are in support cuz I got

yelled at when I cut these bangs by our

boss he was a real dick no oh yeah and

and um all these years later I think

they stand the test of time so he can

right off my bangs were

great you can just right the off he can

just right off sorry everyone at home

we're we're spicy tonight it's so late

we're spicy I have my spicy tequila

tonight yeah we're doing an evening

podcast we're all happily charged wait I

wonder if fans can tell the difference

when we do early morning P podcasts

versus like late night podcast

like we should let them guess from now

on like morning or night morning or

night we should take a poll every week

we should actually do a poll that would

be so stories yeah was a good idea was

it morning or night I love it you is a

Drunk History

Edition are we going to% are we going to

do a drunk OT history where we have to

tell the story of what happened all

season long but like oh my God like when

you and I did Lay Miz in four minutes or

something

yes we're going to do a sloppy recap of

oh my season two um no I guys I really

really like season 3 I have you know

anytime the fans ask us what seasons our

favorite historically for me it's three

cuz I you know yeah I love Cheryl Lee I

love Kevin Kilner who shows up in this

episode like I don't love crying all the

time but gez I got to work with like you

know people I loved and we all looked

soing cute this season like Joy you you

and your little

haircut everybody's hair was so good

everybody's got a great bra on and tank

tops what was that bra cuz it was the

same one guys it had such a specific

front cut like so I know it was and joy

you're the one who spotted it you were

like we're wearing the same bra and

that's a perky bra I don't know what it

is but yeah I want it it probably comes

from the the Terrible you're a Victoria

Secret it's the friends with benefit bra

that's what it is to well where else was

there to shop for bra there were really

no

Alternatives especially not in you know

Wilmington we had the one Victoria

Secret at the mall that was it that was

it I know but everybody did look really

good we looked cute we were we were

covering the uh the the bases of um oh

my God like you had the Sophia you had

like the Sandra bulock thing going on

had the me Ryan and I'm in climb into

Julia Robert's territory cuz you never

know when my hair's going to go curly

and uh I think I think we had this sort

of like romcom Queen Trifecta happening

in the in the uh in the season 3 I'm

excited about seeing the rest of it I'm

really excited you know what

too this is when the like Hocus Pocus um

not Hocus Pocus what am I thinking of

Practical Magic Hill this is when the

Practical Magic thing started for us

when people were like you guys should do

bulock and Kidman oh my God I think Joy

you just nailed it I think it's the

haircuts this season season

I who was our costumer this year I can't

even remember but we had somebody

different come in was it a guy oh no the

guy he was season

4 oh there I just feel like there were

some changings of the Guard between 2

and three and you can see all of us feel

like more comfortable um yeah like I can

tell uncomfortable in those orange pants

for myself now you look cute in those

pants but listen I'm telling you this

episod was all tank tops all the time

like except for Nathan who's not wearing

a shirt at all the whole episode that's

a good wardrobe choice for him

though we should tell James be like hey

we made an executive decision for you

just don't wear shirts as your cooworker

good choice as your friends we'd like to

tell you we have an

opinion I just love okay so do you guys

remember when we were filming

this whole like who killed Dan thing how

obsessed our bosses were about creating

the same kind of energy around our show

that that show datas had about like who

shot Jr Jr who shot Jr oh my gosh

Hillary I forgot about that they were

obsessed with it they would never stop

talking about it and by the way I you

know it worked it sort of yeah I mean it

literally could have been anyone except

you or me cuz in the end Montage of the

show they show every single character on

our show angry at Dan except for Brook

and Payton

yeah we're crying about other [ __ ] you

guys are all trying to kill Dan it did

feel like an episode of clue it was like

yeah you know it was Haley in the

library with a Candlestick

you that's what the 40s episode should

have been clue oh my God it should have

been clue too late Joy it's not too late

what if we did what if we did One Tree

Hill Clue the movie

Yes but we so Choose Your Own Adventure

yeah 100% by the end of the series Dan

is dead so who would be like the next

victim on the show if we're going to do

One Tree Hill clue who dies next okay

who's the next victim after Dan I mean

Rachel but she's not around yet who else

who's who's the bad

guy I don't know there's no other

villain he's the only villain

I mean I guess Deb maybe would go next

oh it would be such a shame it would be

but I don't know like she's the only one

that seems to have that like she could

go bad if she why does it have to be a

main character what if somebody dies in

Tree Hill and then the rest of us have

to investigate and prove our innocence

that's more fun I Didn't Do It guys I

didn't do it like that I've been on a

webcam this whole

time being watched by watch me watch you

which we didn't revisit in this episode

and I kind of wish just to recap and

remind us that there was something

creepy going on cuz that was a weird

mislead in the end of last season it was

very strange and also they made such a

big deal out of it even in the beginning

of the episode where Payton and Lucas

are having this moment where they're

becoming like real friends again and

she's like I've been getting these

creepy emails and I'm like first of all

they're on AIM and second of all we're

never gonna talk about them again so

like you confide in him about it and

then they disappear which feels strange

it feels not like a 16-year-old girl

because what I can tell you having been

a 16-year-old girl is that when we're

weirded out about something we talk

about it all the [ __ ] time like we

don't just like drop it and then walk

away no it's so high school yeah you

fixate on it yeah what I will say though

is that pton lives in this world of

watch me watch you for a while like for

a couple seasons and um I I'm so

paranoid anytime I stay in a hotel room

or like an Airbnb or something that

there are cameras everywhere like seed

was planted I always check in the vents

like there's a hole in the wall like the

air conditioning vents I check every

vent do you know there's an app on your

phone that can scan for hidden

cameras what cuz I do cuz pton Sawyer

traumatized me so now I'm just out there

scanning every room I go into watch me y

you I need this I'm really I'm into it I

think it's smart I think everybody

should do it that should be the name of

the app watch me watch you watch you I

see you you pervert I see you see you

stop me from watching you you're sick

you know what else was creepy in this

episode was that face in Peyton's

bedroom that they kept shining a light

on yeah why did that face get a feature

light it's not right it was a sculpture

what was it we are in season 3 and joy

is like what is that thing on your

yes and I'm just like baby that's been

there since the

pilot it was like a it was like a dummy

head it was literally like a mannequin

head but the hair part had been removed

and so there was like pencils in it like

it was like a pencil holder on the desk

and of course that's the thing they

Spotlight and it's so but like Lucas is

having this really sincere he's really

trying to talk to you and all I can see

behind him is this strange like

scure also I must say

there you can tell when something gets

highlighted and when it doesn't and in

this episode that head and that like d23

whatever that poster was yeah D12 the M

yeah they were like characters in the

show why were they so here's what I

here's what I think if you notice

everyone's wearing a white tank top in

this

episode people's hair rarely changes and

we are constantly in front of the same

backgrounds I think we block shot the

[ __ ] out of this episode because they

spent interesting so much time on the

fire like like there were certain things

we had to spend a ton of time on and so

the other stuff like the scene work I

think we block shot it I don't know if

we've explained block shooting to people

at home but somebody explain it tell

them what tell them what it is tell them

what it is Hillary no guys you're the

director s I'm just the [ __ ]

actress block shooting is when you take

everything that's in one location in the

whole episode and you film it all at one

time or if there's so yeah in in the in

the directions so that you're facing I

actually feel like we've explained this

on the show before but I can't remember

so you just face the same direction and

everybody who's in that scene uh or in

scenes in that episode in that location

will file in and do their scene in that

direction

so everybody's there all day long just

waiting for their direction to be up so

you face the window then you turn around

and face the other side and then you

sometimes it's four ways and then a wide

shot so it can be quite complicated and

sometimes in order to avoid the cameras

having to move all day long all the way

around the room around the room around

the room around the room they just stay

in one place for 4 hours and then move

again and stay in that place for another

four or five hours and then you know

it's not the best way to do I mean it's

it's not it's a super big time saer you

know but you can also tell too like

you're not moving um the other thing I

to lose their minds a little bit all my

scenes pton doesn't look at anybody it's

like Chad over my shoulder or Kevin

Kilner over my shoulder when you saying

things away it's two actors looking in

the same direction so you only need to

set up the camera

once yeah yeah so we were saving

that that would be the EP that

evered I remember driving out there that

night hill we were so pumped the buildup

of this fire it was like guys you're

never going to see anything like it ever

again in the history of your careers

there's going to be an explosion and we

were like

okay I I also just remember being amped

to stand in that parking lot because we

were like there's something to do oh my

god there was just something to do other

than go to Deluxe or go to the movie

theater and we were thrilled blowing

stuff up we were in the parking lot of

the Independence Mall what is that what

road is that on Eastwood um I can't

remember anymore but you know North

South Road the big one it's the road

with the freaking Victoria Secret Mall

yeah Hot Topic Victoria's Secret What

other stores Pon there was a Wet Seal in

that m we had everything we were living

the dream blowing stuff up in the

parking lot mhm I remember us sitting in

our cars being like ooh this is going to

be the coolest thing ever and everyone

made it sound like it was going to be so

dangerous and looking back at it now I'm

like it's a fire like it's a building on

fire it's a building on fire I was super

controlled so it felt still felt safe I

guess were we worried about Dan like did

anyone really think Dan was going to die

besides Deb no

I mean it's awfully hard to be worried

about Dan since we know what happens

it's kind of like you know what happens

with the

Titanic but like no one's surprised at

the end of the movie but your

heartbroken Dan is our Iceberg guys that

feels right he really is iceberg is not

going anywhere and icebergs not moving

for you um but I will say I do think at

the time when the show was airing people

really did wonder if he was going to

die yeah yeah I think so too it was a

big deal it was a big who done it like

who what's going to happen I think they

did splashes on at Entertainment Weekly

on it I think it was kind of all over

all the little pop culture spots like

what's going to happen to Dan and you

can tell even in the way that it was

written you know where the firefighter

says something to Barbara you know to

Deb and she says my husband was inside

and he goes they didn't tell you hold on

Captain and you think oh somebody's

coming to do a death notification and

then he comes around this side of that

ambulance sucking on an oxygen mask and

he realizes nobody's happy to see him

what did you say he was like Hillary

well he looks like Hannibal Lecter with

like the mask on cuz he was being so

creepy but he also looks like another

Wilmington icon Dennis Hopper in blue

velvet sucking on that oxygen mask yeah

just

creepsville I was really fascinated by

the scene with Dan in the confessional

because it's the first time we've ever

seen him

behaving genuinely

sinere well I guess sin I guess he's

sincerely awful but but in it in being

sincere about his

uh his place in the

existential climate the exist

existential world where does he belong

the first time he's really you know

being genuinely being vulnerable without

anyone present who he might get

something from unless he's like

literally trying I guess because he does

ask can I can I get forgiveness for

something I haven't done already so is

he trying to is he trying to Gaslight

God is this Dan's final why CU he

doesn't really want forgiveness I don't

think like

right but why is he bothering to go to

the

confessional that's a really interesting

choice to make for a person to go to a

confessional seeking

genuine forgiveness feeling some kind of

genuine repentance and yet also wanting

to get away with something like seeing

if God's going to let you get away with

something yeah I think that's so

interesting I mean there's a part of me

that thinks Dan gets his kicks seeing

what he can get away with and so going

in and basically admitting that you're

going to do something bad and now you've

got this pastor you know privilege of

are you going to tell on me what are you

going to do about it you know like if he

can pull one over on an institution that

is supposed to

be um I don't know the like utmost

respect it it shows you just how very

low he is uh but but like in all serious

is does someone just sit there all day

and like you can walk in at any time I

don't know what the rules are do they

not have hours how does that work yeah

you have to make an appointment mom grew

up my mom grew up Catholic I should ask

her mom text your mom I think they do

have ours is it only Catholic churches

that have confessional or is it other

yes only Catholic yeah hang on and it's

private it was a beautifully shot scene

I thought that was really pretty I liked

how it was edited because too we're

coming back after you know a couple

months Mon and it reminds the audience

of every single person that Dan has hurt

and I'd forgotten that he pissed off

Whitey and he you know like you forget

like oh wow he he assaulted Karen Karen

threw a chair through a window she was

so mad Paul is so good at going back and

forth between the sincere and the evil I

mean when when Deb comes up to him and

he's got amnesia so you know so-called

Amnesia and he can't remember and he's

being so genuine with her and I I really

thought for a moment like oh my gosh

maybe this Amnesia really really changed

him how does he do it every time he gets

us yeah he really

does well because the audience at you

know they're like surely at some point

is this it no no this isn't it is this

it no no no how long can it go on before

the audience is like it's never

happening never but it's really playing

on our emotions think about real life

think about the people in your life that

you know who are like that and you still

keep thinking maybe this is the maybe

this is the moment maybe this time

they're going to change we do it all the

time this is why there's 8 million memes

out there about like set your boundaries

walk away like exactly I see these

Instagram posts I like them um yeah

Dan's crazy but Deb also is you know

like making her Jin comments

is she did she finish up pill rehab and

now she's drinking is that what's

happening she did but you're not

supposed to do that yeah you're not

supposed to like drink after you go get

go to rehab for pills I that feels a

little again I don't know the rules are

I don't

either I think sober is sober I think

you're supposed to not do that so yeah

she's making these comments and she's

hip and she turned Karen's into a cyber

yeah yeah I wonder if maybe she's making

cuz she goes to get coffee but she's

making jokes about JY is she making fun

of herself but it's just not very good

writing yeah maybe I I don't think I

understand it I just we still don't know

who actually lit the fire and I think it

was her I think it was even though

they're alluding to that it was

Lucas I think you're right somebody who

which one of you said Lucas oh Hillary

he said Lucas saves Dan pull him out of

fire I think that was it and the

giveaway that Lucas saves Dan is that he

has the burnt card so Lucas was in the

that dealership when it was already on

fire right yes but why would he why

would you save someone's life and take

the card that ties you to the crime

scene because I think he's trying to

protect whoever did it because to Lucas

he doesn't know if it was Keith he

doesn't know if it was Nathan he doesn't

know like if it was his mother or Andy

you know Lucas is trying to protect

whoever actually did it cuz he knows

that those repercussions are bad yeah

well and it's smart too because the way

they set up the Deb and Nathan of it all

Nathan comes in and she says I've been

here alone all night which sounds

ridiculous and like she's trying to

establish an alibi but where was Nathan

cuz it could have been so so they start

playing tricks on you where you're like

well it could have been her or if she

was home it could have been him and she

says we're getting out and he says I

know we are is it because he's making

sure they are like they they did a good

job establishing the question did your

husband just walk by with his shirt on

he just brought me a glass of wine sup

dude he has a shirt on under that shirt

top shirt is

unbuttoned Sophia's fiance Grant is so I

have to say uh he's like the become the

wine connoisseur I think over the

pandemic right he became a wine

connoisseur he was really into wine even

before but yeah he's now made it like

his actual work which is so nice for me

yeah yes but it's all like organic

biod biodynamic can I just tell you I

went over to sof's house and we sat and

had dinner and I drank way more wine

than I usually do i' usually stop at a

glass and a half because I have to drive

home or I just I also just don't like

the way I feel in the morning after

drinking wine I have a headache I feel

awful so it's not worth it to me anymore

so a glass and a half is usually my

limit I definitely went over that and I

tell you I woke up the next morning and

felt fine yeah fine there's no nothing

magic and I said what is this magic and

it's because they're all organic wines

yeah because it's not wine that makes

you feel bad it's the creepy additives

that they're allowed to put in it Grant

explained it to me this way which I

thought was such a good way to

understand it is that they've basically

made wine into Coca-Cola like they want

it to taste they want every bottle to

taste the same every time and wine is

alive that's not how it works you know

like

and and so when you drink um completely

organic natural wine biodynamic wine

that doesn't have 81 legally allowed

additives in it like most of the wine

that comes off a shelf yeah you're like

he'll he'll run wine tastings for people

over here and be like we'll start with a

white and then go to an orange and then

we'll do a light red and then we'll do a

red and everyone's like what's happening

and everybody the next day is like I

don't have a headache I feel great that

sounds so nice yeah cuz you didn't get

poisoned you just had a nice yeah we got

to send you we got to we got to sign up

for good good what is it good wine drink

good wine drink good wine club okay I

signed up so I'm shamelessly plugging

your fan grants F bu we need the wine

suitcase with drama queens right on the

front yeah we need a wine suitcase and

we'll just cart it around with us when

we take this show on the road folks

that's right well you know who really

needed a glass of wine in this episode

was Haley oh my God enjoy the work you

had to do in this

episode honey that beautiful scene

between you guys when you come in and

you ask him if he's

awake you guys God that scene was so

good the kissing I cried oh it hurt it

like yeah it made me tear it hurt I

remember filming that and uh it's it's a

one of those things where the the muscle

memory the visc visceral muscle memory

of filming it came rushing back to me

wow and um cuz we spent a long time in

that room that day yeah maybe

we but we spent a lot of time in that

room and um James and I had not done any

scenes like that before we had the one

in the at the concert backstage which

was really just me giving a speech and

then he leaves so the back and forth the

combative like being a married couple

struggling James and I had not done

anything like that

also James was very aloof and he still

is he's a very aloof guy yeah it's one

of the great things he has going for him

too you know um but but he a good Poker

Face totally yeah and so I never qu I'm

you know

very I'm a musical theater kid I'm

like like you know I'll these are my

what do I have to do you want all my

feelings on a platter right here I'll

give them to you yeah and James is

always so poker faed and so I never knew

whether he liked me or not and I really

wanted him to like me just like as a

friend like be I just wanted to know

that he like liked me as a person

approval and I wasn't hopelessly

annoying to him and so that was

always that was always going on in the

back of my mind so I remember when we

filmed these scenes it was actually

particular painful for me to have him

rejecting me oh no

joy yeah cuz it tapped cuz it tapped

into a very real fear you were like he

doesn't like me and in this scene he's

behing like he doesn't like me oh no

it's so painful that funny wow no but I

to I totally get it because we do work

in this world where like like I would

say most of the people that we work with

are incredibly like hey let's be best

friends let's it's like puppies right

it's like let's just like you know get

in a pile and cuddle and tell each other

all our dark secrets and because James

is not like that like James is very sure

of who he is and he doesn't need to

project and he's like he's just

different and there's a calmness to him

where he didn't need the same validation

that we did and yeah I felt the same

thing Joy because I was always like well

why don't you want to sh like Secrets

like why don't why AR we yeah totally

tell me your feelings we got into an

elevator in Paris I got an elevator with

him and my my opar who had come out to

watch Maria and we all got an elevator

together he gets off the elevator and my

opair who's German and you know they're

very stoic he gets off the elevator and

she's like he's calm

yes wow we're frantic people we are

we're frantic

but I think I think that was also why he

he had such a good grounding energy for

all of us cuz you're right that that

desire to puppy pile that you talk about

it's like it's summer camp it's Camp

friends it's like we're in this cabin

and we're going to be friends forever by

next week you're going to know

everything about me and James was always

he he would look at us you know what he

reminds me of it's like the Rancher who

watches all the baby horses run around

like James was our Yellow Stone James

was in Yellowstone we were on One Tree

Hill by the way he should absolutely be

on Yellowstone he should be on that show

but he was just very much like all right

you psychos run around till you're tired

and then I'll feed you and we were like

okay like that's who he is and he still

is it's like a that's yeah we got to you

know what the moral of the story is we

need to buy James a cowboy hat yeah I'm

down for that we'll just send it to him

with no note just no he he made smart

choices too cuz he was like I have my

real friends they're my friends from

home I have my little brother and that

was something that it took me a very

long time to learn in our business is

like a boundary is important and keeping

your home and your work life separate is

is a very important tool and James

somehow figured that out as a child so

kudos to him man I I appreciate it I

wish I had known that really really

nailed it but God isn't that funny I've

had that joy that thing you talk about

like Hillary I even remember having it

with you yeah I'm a psycho Sophia I was

totally standoffish and weird on our

show yeah well but you went in phases

because and then it was weird for me

like even in inside of our friendship

like we'd be doing these scenes where

you know we get to the point where Brook

and pton are fighting and I'm like it

feels personal though like it's on the

script but I feel uncomfortable in the

scene and it's really it's breaking my

real heart not my Brook heart help me do

you guys do that I take it personally

always of

course of course yeah dude even like

there's there's I have to remind myself

to not take it personally it's okay it's

okay because it feels real our job is to

make the feelings on the page real and I

think when you finally learn that that

can emotionally make you feel crazy you

learn coping skills but like God there

were days when we were shooting up in

Toronto where like Jason and I would be

battling in these scenes and then we'

we'd finish the scene and I'd be like

Jason Isaac's it's me Sophia hug me I

need you to hug me you know and he'd be

and then you know he'd be in his sweet

little British accent like oh darling

and I was like I just need to remember

in my body that it's not real oh I love

that I love asking for that remember in

my body we didn't know to do that when

we were doing our show like you would

have never said to James this has made

me very uncomfortable could you hug me

because you're my friend you would have

never would you please let me know that

you don't hate me hold me hold me

James he would have been like sure I

don't hate you oh my

100% I don't hate you and he would have

rolled his eyes when he said it you'd be

like but you look like you do but you

look like you hate me oh God it's like

why I mean maybe that's an artist thing

I've since I was young I remember always

being

so paranoid terrified every room I

walked into that nobody liked me for no

reason does that ever go

away I don't know I guys I still feel

that way constantly like me too I go to

the grocery store and talk to a checkout

woman for too long and like you know ask

her about where she got her nails done

and also I like your hair and leave

feeling like oh no oh no I messed up

like she's going to think I'm a psycho

and then I'm like going to wait for her

her outside in the parking lot you know

like on the way out you're like by the

way not not single white female just

think you're awesome I'm sorry why did I

say that like yeah cool can I have your

number you

know it becomes the It's the weird

vacillating between uh be really being

sincere and just like I like you I think

you're cool blah blah blah and then also

the thing of perpetuating this do you

like me do you like me and then people

who are good at detecting [ __ ] I've

definitely encountered some of those

people when I'm in a Spin and I'm

feeling like I need people to like me

and they just are not having it not

because they don't like me but because

they're not interested in my need for

them to like me does that make sense

like they can tell that everything that

I'm doing is only is not really because

I'm interested in them it's because I am

trying to get some kind of reaction out

of them to feed myself okay that is some

major therapy growth right there can we

just I'd like I'm truly like I have a

desire to like Snap for that like that's

a big [ __ ] deal

please pleas when you're like you're

like oh this is triggering my need for

validation understood that that's some

serious grown-up lady growth yeah yeah

do we think you have to acknowledge when

that happens yeah like am I doing this

really for you or is this really just

all about me and I need to just like

allow you to have whatever feelings

you're having whether you like me or not

and just I can share my feelings for you

genuinely and then walk away but I don't

need to perpetuate this like song and

dance to make sure that you like me and

then I can walk away being like okay

another another person likes me good

check check that off the list what is

the worst what is the worst like fake

fight you've had on a job where you have

been like scared it's real

like cuz our show we were babies and so

we didn't know how to separate fact and

F fiction very well but yeah like I

played a mistress on a TV show that Tony

collect was the lead in and her husband

was Tate Donovan and so I was supposed

to be having this affair with Tate

Donovan and I was so excited to work

with Tony Colette and she was just like

I'm going to need you to stay away from

me and she was so lovely but like very

professional but also like we can't be

girlfriends and I just remember being

like oh no oh no I've come off so hyper

I've come off like the mistress you know

because like my character had to

apologize to her and be like oh my God

I'm so sorry you're such an awesome

woman and I didn't know and like I'm

like oh no I'm perpetuating this in real

life cuz I'm like I think you're so cool

and I like your hair and also your shoes

are really pretty today you know like

that was the weirdest I've ever felt

professionally cuz I was like no no I

swear I'm a normal person I swear I'm

just playing a

[ __ ] I'm just playing a

[ __ ] oh my God I don't know I'm I'm

really trying to think of

um oh I don't know I mean maybe I'm just

thinking about it cuz I literally was

just talking about it but when we had

that fight on the front lawn of Payton's

house oof oof that one hurt that that me

up for a bit me too like I didn't feel

okay no and and and I think we both were

like wounded and then didn't want to say

it but could see it on each other's

faces so you were literally wounded I

cracked your skull like you had to go to

the hospital we had a moment I was like

something is

wrong yeah um but yeah I don't know it

felt oh it just felt so awful we tapped

into something like dark yeah to like

girl wounds to like the Betrayal of the

you know the first best friend betrayal

you ever go through or whatever and it

just felt big and painful and it was

2005 and no one was in therapy yet so

really hard to deal with that was a

rough one that's right we didn't have

better help back then no we had no like

mental health leaders on Instagram

sharing inspiring infographics in your

morning feed that have been amazing can

you imagine if they had actually just

made like Beth Crookham maybe like or

somebody kind of like her who is just 10

years older than us so still young and

cool but like clearly had her together

it just made someone like that our like

a guidance counselor on why didn't we

have a guidance counselor

especially cuz there were so many big

things we were going through and people

treated us like grown-ups but we were

kids and then we were like well we can't

admit that we feel like kids cuz we're

supposed to be the gr we're we're you

know employees like we're supposed to

have it all together so we just like

fumbled around for years dumb do you

think that in in

other

professions which we C I mean none of us

can really know because we don't do

anything else but I wonder if

this is you know we think this is an

extraordinary problem just for actors

but maybe in other professions other

people feel especially young people

coming out of college or going you know

going into new jobs or

internships I mean I wonder if kind of

the pressure is the same everywhere EX

for public notoriety like that's

something else well here's what I'm

going to say I think the pressure is

very similar I think the pressure of

public notoriety is hard and I also

think the utter lack of boundaries

in film and television like yeah when

you go to work at an office you're doing

spreadsheets you're not doing like

emotional scenes where you're fighting

your best friend whose parent has died

like that's not in the Wheelhouse take

your clothes off you look good in that

bathing suit yeah like that's not in the

Wheelhouse of a typical 9 to-5 not to

say people don't get pushed around and

harassed and all the things but you're

not emotionally manipulating yourself in

a group

for your job with no guidance or help

like so I do feel like there are say

I've got a lot of friends work in

healthcare and they do emotionally

manipulate themselves because they have

to compartmentalize in a way that we had

to where it's like feelings I can

control these things well yeah how do

you witness suffering every day and do

your job if you're a doctor if you're a

nurse if you work in a hospital yeah you

get real good at disassociating which

well you have to as a professional for

any of us the suffering person has to

look at you and see a stable person they

can't see you breaking down well to that

extent you could say hairdressers have

to do the same thing you know so it's

like you can find glimmers of this of

that same thread yeah like Shadows of it

when you are taking care of other people

you are not allowed to authentically

feel your feelings and so especially

when you're a young person it gets you

know sloppy

oh yeah it gets sloppy and so I think

the nicest thing we can do is say hey

your 20s are real sloppy I sure love you

anyway 30s and 40s get way better kids

they get so fun want to learn some of

the stuff we learned we'll pass it on to

you and we'll also give you a discount

for therapy you're welcome that's right

that's right you know okay please cut to

the ad right now oh my God that's it's

the best transition I've ever done

there's my directing hat actually is

really interesting cuz thinking about

the sort of tessellations of that

expectation to serve the group you see

our characters grappling with it you

know Haley made a choice for herself and

is punished for it and granted it was

messy but she's a teenager what was she

supposed to know pton is having a real

hard time you know not taking this

family stuff personally and and is

struggling to express how she feels and

has this conflict with her father

because she feels betrayed and and

Brooke doesn't want to get hurt so she's

putting up all these walls and

boundaries and saying like I'm in

control of this but really she doesn't

feel good about it yeah and all these

kids are just trying to figure out how

to get back to normal before they were

heartbroken but you can't Unbreak a

heart mm- and so you're just not the

same after a heartbreak as you were when

you were like an innocent little freshly

hatched chickling a I'm to write a

country song I'm going to write a

country song called Break a heart please

Joy please write us that song um so I I

just no matter what you do you can't

Unbreak a heart see look at you there it

is a win a Grammy but I I just think

there's something really interesting

about that not only in the landscape AP

of our show but in this larger landscape

of talking about how even as grown women

in rooms sometimes we don't feel like we

know what to do with our

feelings

yeah I read a book it's a novel it's

called Elegance by Kathleen tessero I

read it last year what a name and uh

it's about a woman who's um getting out

of a marriage and she's always been sort

of rather from and just not really giv

any much thought to

her the what she puts forth into the

world she just shows up at work and does

her thing and goes back home

and and she gets a hold of this vintage

book on elegance and she starts going

through the

chapters for what each chapter is for

and you know some of it's seems quite

silly how to match your handbag to your

outfit and things like that and then

some of the things are are deeper and

and I tell you I haven't been affected

by a novel like this in a really long

time because while I was reading this

novel I found myself so I I related to

this character so much and I so wanted

to slow down the way that she was

slowing down as she was learning how to

not walk into a room and apologize for

herself immediately how she was learning

to slow down instead and I found myself

doing it too like I'm I'm a I'm like a

pingpong ball around my house if I leave

something upstairs I don't walk upstairs

to get it I run upstairs and get it and

then I run back downstairs to just sit

back down on the couch where I was like

I can't just walk and I've

been yeah that's why the butt Supreme

sorry I just had to say it hey

thanks um but I've really found that it

help I I've been wanting to go back and

reread it because I've gotten out of the

Habit that I was in but during the the

month it took me a while to read it cuz

I was doing other things but during the

month that I was reading this book I

really slowed down and I really was

taking in my the appreciation for myself

for my environment will um and it wasn't

a vanity thing like I want to be elegant

it was I deserve to carry myself in the

world in a way that that uh reflects my

value wow and it's really beautiful

anyway I recommend it to you girls but

this just made makes think of that

because we do bounce we bounce all over

the place Bing binging binging binging

from point point A to point z um and

sometimes we just need to slow down and

that can be hard to do when we're

constantly worried if people like us or

not do you like

me I really like you guys yeah I like

you guys I like you too I like you too

damn it can I say one thing about Haley

um this is the first time this episode I

don't know why think it was something

pton

said I can't remember it was one of you

two one of you twos said something about

oh like the choice that she the choice

that I made and I think for the first

time I'm realizing that Haley has always

been a part oh it was pton pton was mad

at Haley and she was telling Brooke why

she was so mad at her mad at Haley she's

mad at mad at her mom yes yes but what

she said wasn't totally untrue and what

I realized is that Haley actually has

been a part of a unit her entire life a

family unit all those kids and then got

married immediately left her parents

house and got married so no wonder she

just was like ah I got to I got to be on

my own I have to figure out how to be on

my

own yeah it kind of it was the first

time I realized that with her anyway I

want I love that everyone needs that

space that time yeah um I agree with you

and I think that the way Haley came back

not bouncing all over the place you were

very still and you were very like quiet

but firm it was a strong move because

another actress could have been like

please Nathan take me back Nathan it's

too much I can't bear it um and you you

were slow and methodical about it and

you had to repeat yourself over and over

again and it never felt stagnant or

stale it was just firm and loving and I

think that's that's what anybody who

like putting myself in Nathan's shoes if

the trust is gone firm and slow and

steady is exactly what you're looking

for it's like yes yeah calm it down

let's remove the

melodrama make me believe you and it

shows that she learned something and is

sure and this idea that she was always

in a unit and never got to do something

for herself she went out she went had

her hero's journey she went out on her

own

sure and that's really nice and it's

weird as you're saying all this Hillary

where you're like the slow and the

steady I'm like oh that's what Brooke is

trying to get Lucas to teach her he is

yes she wants him to prove that he is

sure by being slow I love the mirror

those story lines I didn't see it until

just now but she's like you want to

you're sure prove it yeah slow and

steady I'm going to test you I'm going

to push you let me see it yeah I wonder

if Brooke and Nathan are about to kind

of be in the same place like is Nathan G

to test

Haley I don't know I don't remember I

don't remember either but I'm I'm deeply

curious maybe that's what this episode

is all about testing love like cuz pton

and pton pton her dad guys I had no

recollection of How firm Kevin Kilner

was with me in those scenes where he's

like you can be mad but don't you dare

bring your mother into this yeah and he

doesn't hug her and he never tries to

like smother her with affection or

anything like that and he sets a

boundary well in my mind because Kelvin

Kilner was someone who I really really

liked a lot and we ended up working

together later on White Collar um Kevin

Kilner is the best and has such good bad

energy and I guess in my mind I thought

we were all like warm and fuzzy and

Larry is not warm and fuzzy with pton

here and she's testing his love and

instead of doing the whole like I'm

going to tell you I love you over and

over again he's like knock it

off yeah you're being a brat stop it

like it's good it's parenting strong

yeah it was hard parenting um but he's

he's I

I love Thomas who played my dad before

but Kevin felt like Dad like I wish he

would have come back for weddings and

things cuz he was so good I know and you

pointed out something so interesting

when when he first came on screen where

we were like oh my God Kevin Kilner

looks so much like Brian Greenberg daddy

isues so much

Greenberg they always say like you know

you fall in love with a virgin or your

dad and it's like holy Jake jelski and

and Larry Sawyer are twinsies yeah yeah

Payton's got dad issues mom issues best

friend issues back in like she has she's

just a regular high school girl Man

painting on her walls I love that you

know what this is the first episode I

know Payton's been very artistic

obviously the last few seasons but this

is the first episode I really

remember seeing the the art the Artistry

coming out literally onto her walls

pouring out of her everywhere she goes I

love that the the breaking the mold

breaking the boundaries just like yes

paint on my walls I can throw whatever

yeah yeah that that mural with those

faces oh my God and the one like

hypnotist wheel and the six billion that

is a sense memory for me yeah like the

hours we used to spend in that room like

and we would like find a random face and

like make up stories about that face in

the crowd from the

yes yeah oh my God I remember that's so

funny and we would like we would like

assign crew members we worked with to

some of those faces to be like that's

you Brian or that's you you know like

yeah we just stared at it for so so

long and I don't know where that

picture's from like I don't i' love that

backstory at some point we have to have

some art department members on the show

because they can walk us through like

the lamps of it all

that weird head on the

desk we've got to do that I want to know

where all that stuff came from that was

a really big deal wasn't it that moment

in the when you painted that number on

the wall and that quote it's one of the

most famous quotes of the show yes yeah

I mean that stands alone in in the

Zeitgeist we've had a lot of people get

engaged using that quote like and people

like use it in their wedding videos and

stuff cuz that all you need is one quote

is like I swear that's Lady Gaga's

that's where she got

it this is where she got it it has to be

I like the

ownership a repeat of her she used that

same quote over and over and over in all

these different interviews you have to

Google Lady Gaga all you need is one is

one honestly I'm down for Gaga to be a

one Trill fan let's do it I wish o that

sounds fun does she want to come record

red bedroom records she should I used to

get to hang out with her in Chicago

she's a babe and oh that's right she's

great I love her that's awesome

I remember texting Jenny being like it's

happened CU you know my my girlfriend

Jenny who's one of my best friends from

Wilmington um you know we we used to

like take a party bus down to Raleigh to

go to Gaga shows um when she was touring

so like oh my God I was like it's

happening I've met her we

did that's so great we've we've achieved

the next level and Super Mario Brothers

or whatever the you know like it felt I

was like this is insane I'm in The

Matrix

yeah weird in life those those level up

moments where I'm just like did I I hit

the right mushroom and now I'm up here

what's like what happened you guys

literally my son just got a Game Boy

from the 90s for he we went to like a

vintage did he get Tetris he got Tetris

but he got Super Mario Brothers too and

so he's like it's like it's like we're

back because I hear that sound just

like

whatever it's like G what are you doing

he's hitting all the mushrooms um go for

it Gus you get those mushrooms you get

them guys we have listener questions we

do do you want to should we read some of

them yeah mhm well this one's perfect

Beth wants to know who your favorite

musical guest over your time on the show

was oh yeah I wish we'd had Gaga on the

show God that would been cool damn

right at like the beginning of her like

trajectory oh it's so cool yeah damn I

would have loved did we ever end up

getting like PE I know you loved peaches

early on did she ever come on her show

oh my God I loved peaches peaches I know

guys we love that fcking song we would

play that in the trailer and make people

so uncomfortable over again I loved it

so

much oh God that was I forgot about that

Joy I'm so glad oh

man okay so she wasn't on the show but

anyway I remember that no I loved Grace

Potter man I still love Grace Potter

love her yeah she's so

talented yeah one of for me also one of

the best like there were so many moments

that were

cool but God she was just she's like a

she's like a mirage like she feels like

she came from another world she's

awesome Angels and Airwaves remember too

I remember

that and that felt so cool too because

that that when they came on the show we

got to do that big Uso show and it felt

so special to be able to kind of use the

platform of our television show to go

and throw a massive event like for the

troops and their families that that was

special that's when I think a lot of us

were like oh we could do stuff with this

yeah right we could actually do good in

the world or like at least you know

interact with people on a more authentic

basis like it's one thing to go and like

sign autographs and shake hands but it's

another thing to put on a show and go

spend time with the families and get to

know people and that was a that was a

really special experience um Jack's

Mannequin was another really great get

you know oh

yeah that oh my God that was a fun one

yeah we were lucky yeah we lucky great

anybody anybody right now that you guys

would want on like who who right now

would be I know who you

want pom pom squ band you I know but I

wasn't even going to say that cuz I yeah

everyone already knows that no I'm

trying to think like who do I want now

that little chick is so cute you know

who I would love if we were making the

show right now I would 100% make my

friend Jack gett come and play yeah cuz

he's just God he's just the best

and like I love nothing more than taking

people who haven't seen him perform live

to a jack Garrett show cuz I'm like your

brain's going to explode and I can't

wait to watch it happen I love when my

brain explodes yeah it's my favorite

what about Le Leon bridges that would be

some that feels real on on brand that'd

be

special yeah yeah I'm hot for it all

right what's her other question well

Katie says I want to know how much of

how a line is said is down to the actor

and how much is down to the director

depends on the director

truly I will say and we talked about

this while we were watching the episode

and as we're all um in our in our late

night spice Brooks onliners are getting

so good I love them so good oh you've

got the best dialogue right now in the

airport when Haley comes to the

apartment and I remember being so

thrilled like the sense memory I had

watching that scene when you walked in

joy and I went I got room for you but

not a lot of pity I love it and I

remember when we were shooting it and

whatever that is like I caught the

Rhythm and I was like that's it that's

the comy and and I forgot the feeling

cuz it was 20 years ago and we watched

the scene and I was like oh my God and

you guys we just been at the airport at

the airport at the beginning was great

too yeah it was so funny and these

aren't for me okay great like there's my

C I just got it was so fun what did you

say quick quick tell me you love me

quick tell me you love me tell me you

love me loved it oh my God so I I will

say I think like yeah sometimes a

director will come and say you know put

more of this under it or whatever they

don't tell you how to say something it's

like very there's a big faux PA in our

industry with what's called a line

reading someone comes and like reads

your line for you they're they're

emotionally fired um but man I have to

be I actually don't mind a line reading

really um trust the director and I trust

the director yes if it's not working

that's the thing I you have to let me

try it if I if I'm trying it and I'm not

understanding what you're saying just

tell me what just tell me it's fine cuz

because if I can hear you say it the way

that you think it should be said then I

can actually understand whether or not

that's going to make sense sense for me

or not but if I don't really get what

you're saying if you can't communicate

in a way that like if we're just we're

missing like I you're saying it and I'm

not hearing it for whatever for whatever

reason yeah then I don't mind I don't

mind a line reading I remember I

remember working on White Collar and you

know we had I just come from North

Carolina for six seven years and I had

to say some like business word and I

kept saying it with like a JoJo accent

and the director would just yell from

behind the monitor I God what was that

word it was oh it was something so

stupid about like business contracts or

some legal [ __ ] and they were just like

where did you come from in that

situation yes give me that line reading

say it over and over again spell it out

fanatically put it on a q card sign me

up oh I love it but yeah I think that's

that's the interesting thing you know

directors rotate

on TV and we're there all the time so um

there's just something that happens in

this season where you can really see

everybody kind of clicking into the next

level and something happened

particularly I'm because I'm reliving it

now like something happened with the way

that the writer's room and I like

clicked into Brooks comedy in like a

deeper way and I would just read the

scripts and giggle I was so excited I

think they realized everybody else was

everyone else was weeping in the episode

[ __ ] God I just got so excited I'd read

these lines and be like oh I can't wait

to say that I'm GNA [ __ ] them up with

this one I'm this going to be really bad

so well you did it brilliantly you're so

good I just I love Brook I love Brooke

more and more every day me too God I

loved her well should we spin a wheel I

want to spin the

wheel it's amazing that we can talk for

so long

[Applause]

I know

oh

oh this Joy this is Joy

100% this is

Joy

guys the suspense is killing you at home

we know uh this week's most likely to is

who is most likely to leave their name

it's not even a

question it's not a question of who it's

a question of when's the last time she

did it yeah when's the last time joy in

Charleston in November a

bartender oh my God that cute guy in

Charleston we got a picture he was spicy

I love it so much she'll text us and be

like guess what I did and we're like we

know what you

did we know uh it's why we love you we

know every little detail we're married

if you were lucky enough to have Joy

lens saunter into your establishment you

better treat Mama well you might get a

phone number on a receipt oh yes never

know God okay who in the who the

characters I I think Brooke oh yeah oh

100% Brooke Davis

yeah Brooke Davis would leave her phone

number on a receipt and then walk up to

the waiter and fold it up and yes they

would not they wouldn't be subtle I

agree but you know love it I like that

about her love it well guys our next

episode is season 3 episode 2 from the

edge of the deep green sea wow so

dramatic

oh well this is I missed you guys I love

you guys so much missed you too Miss

time let's record at like 4:00 in the

morning you know like we'll let the fans

figure out what we're up to our late

night Antics thanks for bearing with us

guys all right see you next week love

you bye hey thanks for listening don't

forget to leave us a review you can also

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