The Daily Show - Admiral General Aladeen

Welcome back. My guest tonight,

he is the supreme leader of the nation of Wadia. And his new film is called the Dictator. This is the plan.

We're just two ordinary American tourists.

I love being an American. America is number one.

A 9. 11 oh. 9, 11. It's the best.

9, 11, 2012.

Please welcome Admiral General Aladdin.

May I lift you up? May I lift you on that?

It's a beautiful. Kiss it. You kiss it. That's a very. It's very nice. No, no, no. You kiss. You kiss my ring.

I did. The ring is not.

I don't want it to spoil. My saliva is very caustic. It's a. I have a disease of a saliva disease. Oh, you have a herpes.

Yeah, I. I courted last time I went on United Airlines flight here. Yes, sir. Flight attendant. I think his name was Kevin.

Yes, he. He gave you it too? Yes, sir. Kevin. Kevin gave. He gives everybody her. That's why the service is so good.

Could. Would you care for a seat? Okay. Is that. I don't know the customer. No problem. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.

Great. Okay. Let's relax. Thank you.

That is. You ask whatever you want. No pressure.

Hello. It's Peep as your guards, I guess. These are my virgin guards. I have 25 of them. 25. They are checked for their virginity every night by the head of my penis.

No, they are.

No, mister. Wait. I understand. With my baby. Yes.

Does your penis have a. Like a. You put a miner's light. I've seen. Questions about my penis? No, sir.

No, no. Please do.

Good. Finally somebody asking me questions about my business. I wait so long to come to America, fly all the way here to have you ask me questions about my business.

Please enjoy.

Well, ask away.

It is like a little mouse.

Famous. Famous.

You won't feel it. You won't feel it

when I do a sex activity with you later.

I'm not a homosexual. I'm not homosexual. It's more of a power trip for me.

I understand. Humiliation. Humiliation of you in jail. No, please, please. Relax. Relax.

What kind of activity? Don't worry. Your family is safe.

They are having a great time.

Are they? Your son is learning a lot.

That's okay. Now,

the. We'll keep it this way. Maybe you don't touch the gun.

Well, I certainly don't want to offend in any way. Obviously, you're very gracious to bring yourself and your Bennis.

Thank you. You're very welcome, sir. It's been a difficult year for you. Let's not mince words. Let's not lie.

You've lost. Kim Jong Il, dead. Gaddafi, dead. Osama Bin Laden, dead. Who do you

play cards with now? Who do you play bridge with now with those gentlemen gone? Rick Santorum.

You know, I like him despite his liberal views.

But you are right, all the big dictators are gone. Gaddafi, Akim Jong, Hussein, Cheney.

You know, I lost these friends. I miss them. Merg. You know, Gaddafi, I miss you. Sorry, I mean Gaddafi, I miss you.

I understand

he was pursuing. If I may. And again, this is very sensitive. No, please, please. Weapons of mass destruction, nuclear weapons, biological weapons, this.

This type of thing. Your regime. You're a peace loving man. You have a

always spoken of your love of

peace.

Well, not really, but carry on. Just trying to be gentle. What about you with nuclear weapons? When do you have plans to have a nuclear weapon?

What is the testing situation like in your country right now? Listen, John, listen. John, John, John, John, John, John, John.

No, John. John. It's

without an H. Listen, Jen.

I don't have a nuclear weapon. Wink, wink.

I am winking. Which means that I am lying.

But the one you should be careful of is North Korea. They are just years away from developing a boat capable of reaching Japan.

Obviously it depends on the winds and the tides.

They have run out of toilet paper though now. It's terrible. You stand down win from Kim Jong Un. It's unbearable.

Have you met Kim Jong Un? Have you? I am buying 300,000 rolls here to bring back to Kim Jong un as a gift.

A beautiful gift. As a gift. That is. That is very nice.

How. Do you ever shave your beard? Or is that just. Is that in your country? That is custom. Oh, no, this is my.

I don't shave this beard. No, you just leave it. Do you ever shave your beard? No, I just. This is no your beard there.

My penis has no beard. Yeah, show me. Show me.

No be. No be. Those are what? Those are what we call mutton chops.

More of

not so much business and more of the billboard.

Well, your excellency. Is that even the way to say it? Yes, please, Mr. Mayor. Whatever. Supreme Leader.

Supreme Leader. The dictator. I know. It's a wonderful film. You are wonderful in it. You're a great actor.

Thank you very much. It is in the theaters on Wednesday, May 16th. Yes, correct. Thank you,

Admiral General. Thank you so much for being with us. Ladies. Admiral General. Aladdin, ladies and gentlemen, really appreciate.