You can't rescue someone from their problems | Mel Robbins #Shorts

You are not responsible for rescuing

people from their problems. [music] Let

them learn from life. Now, this one

probably hits hard, especially if you're

a parent or a partner or a friend or

frankly if you have a pulse. Because if

you care about somebody else, it's

really hard to accept that this is true,

that you're not responsible for rescuing

people from their problems. And you

[music] have to let them learn from

life. And I want to read to you from

page 226 of the let them theory book

because I dedicate an entire section of

the book to how you use the let them

theory when somebody is struggling and

how to stop assuming responsibility for

everybody's problems and solving them

and keep yourself in a role of

supporting them from the sidelines. So

let me read to you. Watching someone you

love struggle with their mental health,

crippling grief, or an addiction is one

of the hardest experiences you will face

[music] in life. And an even harder

truth is not everyone is ready to get

better, be sober, do the work, use their

tools, or face their issues. And not

everybody [music] can. I learned that

truth from clinical psychologist Dr.

Nicole Pearlla's work. She's known

online to her millions of followers as

the holistic psychologist. And every day

her work reminds me that healing is a

deeply [music] personal journey. As much

as you may love someone and believe in

them and would do anything in the world

to make their pain go away, you cannot

want someone else's sobriety, healing,

[music] or health more than they do.

The more you try to rescue someone from

their problems, the more likely they

will continue to drown in them. Allowing

someone to face the natural consequences

of their actions is a necessary part of

healing, growing, and getting better.

The fact is, adults only get better when

they are ready to do the work. And

you're going to be ready way before they

are. It's harsh, but it's true.

What we're going to talk about is

there's a brand new approach to

supporting someone through their

struggles which is grounded in the

belief that someone can do the work to

get better. And in order for that to

happen, you have to stop assuming

responsibility [music] for doing the

work for them.