The 5 Habits 80% of Top Performers Use Every Day | Aspire Archives

when you think about wellness and

practices like what are the things that

you would say to my listeners that you

absolutely have to adopt if you are

living a fast-paced busy life big career

trying to start a company what do you

need to do what are the non-negotiables

>> oh that's a great question and and I'd

say that some of this stuff is stuff

I've implemented in corporations when I

work with my corporate clients

>> I've instilled this idea of if everyone

took a breath for three minutes at the

beginning of a meeting

>> just a breath

>> just a breath just three breaths you

won't be carrying the baggage from your

last meeting into the next one. Most of

us walk into a new meeting and we're

still thinking about what happened in

the last meeting.

>> Facts. Especially if they annoyed you.

>> Sorry.

>> Especially if they annoyed you.

>> Yeah, exactly. And you haven't had a

second to decompress. You haven't had a

second to think about it. All of a

sudden, your manager in this meeting is

going, "What about this? This, this,

this, this, and you haven't even

decompressed. If you just took three

breaths at the start of that meeting,

all of a sudden, you've paused. You've

calmed the energy. And now you can

actually be present." But going back to

the non-negotiables, there's five habits

that I believe are non-negotiable for

high performers when it comes to high

wellness. And if you look at the top

athletes in the world, the top

musicians, the top business performers,

80 to 90% of them practice these five

habits. So these are also scientifically

proven, but they're practically there.

And Emma, I'd say every exec, every

leader, every aspiring leader is an

athlete. We have to start treating our

body and minds like athlete because

you're demanding things from your body

and mind.

>> I couldn't agree more.

>> Yeah. The first is thankfulness. And the

reason why I say that one is the first

one is because if you're not thankful

for where you're at, it doesn't matter

how much you'll achieve, you'll never be

thankful. If you're insecure about where

you're at, if you're envious about where

you're at, if you're jealous, judgmental

of where you're at, that's what you're

going to be like when you're at the top

of the mountain or when you're at the

bottom of the mountain. So the way I'd

say to be grateful is not a journal.

Don't write about it. You have to share

it. If you want gratitude to work, it

has to be three things. Expressed,

specific, and personal. So, if I'm going

to be grateful to you, Emma, like you

were kindly to me at the start of this.

You expressed it. You said, "Jay, I love

coming on your show." You were specific.

You were like, "Jay, when I came on your

show, I got to talk about things that I

don't really talk about." And you were

personal. You said, "You made me feel

really comfortable." You did all of

those three things. If you think about

most gratitude, it's generic. I'm

grateful for life. I'm grateful for the

air. I'm grateful for the cloud. And

you'll be grateful in your journal. You

never say it. You never share it. It's

just writing it down. That doesn't work.

Studies show that if you share

gratitude, if you express it, it's

specific and it's personal. You can't be

worried or anxious at the same time.

It's not possible. This is like a light

bulb moment for me because one of the

things I mean I have been keeping a

gratitude journal since like the Oprah

days, right? As a kid, I learned that

that was something and I don't think I

understood it so much like, you know,

back then, but I really knew this makes

me feel good. And for me, it was about

redirecting what was going on in my head

at the time and having something else to

think about. But what I do do all the

time is write to people. I constantly

send emails saying, "This thing that you

did was really seen, was really

appreciated, and made me feel like this,

and thank you for doing that." in the

hope that they continue that behavior

and maybe somebody else gets the same

treatment, but I didn't actually

understand like the scientific piece of

it because I'm just like here writing in

my gratitude journal. I didn't actually

put those, you know, I always think

about it as like you do someone a favor,

they do something nice to you, you know,

it's like just being grateful, being

English, being like, you know, polite

like a nice girl. I never thought about

it in the sense of connecting it to the

gratitude practice.

>> Absolutely. And and it changes

everything because you just said, and

I'd say that to people for the next

seven days, do what Emma does. Send one

personally and one person professionally

a text, an email, a voice message, a

video message. Doesn't have to be long,

30 seconds. And share gratitude that's

specific and personal. It will change

your relationships. It will change how

you feel. It will make you feel like

you're connected to people. You're not

lonely at the top. You actually have

you're paving the way for others to

follow as well. There's so many

benefits. So, that has to

>> That's amazing. I love that one. And you

can do that in work, too. Like, why

wouldn't you do that with your

colleague? because we're in such a rush

all the time and the winds happen and

you could literally turn around and be

like, "You did this amazing job. I love

the way you did X D." It's like so

simple. All right, what's the second

habit?

>> So, the second habit is something I

called insight. I think about humans

really interestingly. If you're hungry,

you go to your refrigerator or Uber Eats

or whatever it is and you find food. If

you're out of milk, you buy milk. But

when we're out of inspiration, we panic.

If we're out of motivation, we panic. If

we're out of energy, we panic. like it's

like, "Oh my god, there must be

something wrong with me. There's

something like that's not working for

me." I think it's really important that

we learn something every day. The

problem is we stop studying the moment

we leave school.

>> Yeah.

>> And we need to learn one insight per

day. It could be the tiniest thing

someone says to you. It could be

listening to your podcast right now and

you'll take away one insight. Could be

learning a new word. It could be

anything. Just learning one tiny thing a

day changes the brain. It makes you feel

like you're moving. you don't feel stuck

anymore because you have a new piece of

insight. You have a new experience that

you can share with someone else. And

your podcast is going to do that for so

many people. I

>> honestly I love Well, I love that you

say that first of all, but this is one

of my biggest single things. And you

know, I feel like I didn't take very

much away from school at all, but

there's this great quote that I love and

I think about it every day is that the

more you learn, the more you earn, which

is a very Emma quote. It wasn't me, it

was Warren Buffett, but it's one that,

you know, I'm a lifelong learner and I

have been like that since I was a kid.

But I think I've connected it to this

idea of like just growth, right?

Personal growth in my life. If I can

learn something every day, learn

something about someone that is me

expanding my horizons, expanding what I

know. I love the way you contextualize

it is like insights, right? And that is

so important for people. Like if you can

make that a habit every single day, I'm

just going to learn the smallest little

thing. How do you practice that? Like

what do you do? What do you learn?

>> I think you can literally go, okay, I'm

going to learn a new word every day. I'm

just going to get chat GPD. Give me a

new word every day. Like something

unique, something I've never heard

before, a word in another language. It

can be that simple. For me, I like to

just I mean, I'm lucky I get to sit down

and interview people. So, I'm learning

stuff all the time. And and I think

anyone who's listening is learning all

the time. But it's like at one point in

my life, I listen to Steve Jobs's

Stanford commencement speech every day

for nine months.

>> And not only did What a speech.

>> What a speech.

>> One of the best speeches of all time.

>> What a speech. The one where he talks

about dogma that are you it's it's so

insane you first of all I've taken so

many parts of that speech I keep like

postit on the inside of my bathroom

mirror so many parts of that I've posted

that speech in parts in so many ways

it's it really is cuz what does he

there's a part in there where he talks

about

>> don't be trapped by dog people's

>> thinking and the best invention of life

is death and it's finite and I'm like

it's so crazy that speech you know it's

insane

So you listen to that every day as like

a way of learning, like feeding

yourself.

>> At one point in my life, I listened to

it every day for 9 months. And I promise

you, not only did I know the words off

by heart, the word started to change my

heart and my life because you start to

live them. Repetition. We also living at

a time where we always want new and

fresh. I think there's a power in

repetitive insights. Sometimes learning

the same thing again and again every day

lets it drop into your consciousness and

all of a sudden you're acting

differently.

>> It changes you. It changes you.

>> Oh my goodness, these habits are

changing me. All right, number three.

>> We talked about number three, so I won't

talk about it too much, but mindfulness

or meditation, having a check-in with

yourself. I always say to people, you

schedule meetings with your family, your

friends. You never cancel things for

your kids.

>> You never ever cancel a meeting with

someone else, but you'll never schedule

one with yourself. You just don't do it.

It's not there. And so what I say to

people is just at the beginning, at the

end of your day, have a meeting with

yourself. It could be three minutes. Put

it in the calendar. Three minutes of the

start of the day, three minutes at the

end, and just check in with yourself at

the start and say, "What do I need today

to make it a great day? Is it a cup of

coffee? Is it a great meeting? Is it me

making sure that I'm prepared for MS

podcast?" Like, what's the thing that's

going to make today great? And at the

end of the day, let me just reflect on

how my day was and how did it go for me.

That's the beginning of meditation.

>> Why is it so difficult for women, for

example, to actually create that space

and time? Because like I said to you, my

husband will have no problem meditating

and finding the time to meditate for 40

minutes a day. This is a very busy

businessman. He also has four kids and a

lot going on. Why would so many women

find it hard to make that appointment

with themselves and to make the time and

the space?

>> If I'm honest, I mean, women are more

caring. They're more nurturing,

>> but just not about themselves.

>> They've been programmed to believe that

>> they should be taking care of everyone

else. M

>> they have the capacity to so that's

their role in society. I think women

have been programmed to believe that

their worth comes from helping everyone

else and not themselves. Their value

comes from being there for the village

and not themselves. And so a lot of it's

programming conditioning for decades

where women have had to put themselves

centuries sorry

where women have had to put themselves

second, third, 10th even if they're on

the list at all. And it's really sad

because if you think about it, women

have the greatest impact on society. I

mean, when I think about my mom, my mom

made me and my sister breakfast, lunch,

and dinner fresh every day. She dropped

me and her to school until I was old

enough to take the bus myself. She

picked us up from school. When we got

home, she did our homework with us. She

went out to work in the evenings and

then came back. My mom has had more

impact on me than any other human on

planet Earth.

>> Without a doubt. And because of her

sacrifice for me, I feel so in love. But

the only thing I would have wanted as a

child is for her to do something for

her. Now, when I think about it, and

even at this age, like if I told my mom,

"Mom, fly to LA. I miss you." She'd jump

on a plane

>> 1,000%. As any mom would, but that's why

I always talk about this idea, and I

mentioned it on your podcast, of putting

yourself first. And I do think that at

the end of the day, we've just got to

get comfortable with putting ourselves

first. And if you can think about

meditation in that sense that actually

you're doing something for the good of

everyone around you because it betters

you, it adds to you, it feeds you. It

just is that again that reframing of how

we think about something as being is

this taking away from everyone around me

or is this giving to everyone around me?

And I find the meditation piece this is

giving.

>> You hit the nail on the head. It it's

all about the reframe. Yeah. It's all

about the reframe of am I giving people

the best of me or giving them my

leftovers.

>> And most of us are just giving our

leftovers. And by the way, that's not

your fault. It's how things have been

structured, how societyy's been

conditioned. But if you start investing

in yourself, your parents get a better

version of you, your partner gets a

better version of you, your kids get a

better version of you, your colleagues

get a better version of you. You will

give the best version of yourself to

everyone if you've done the one thing in

your day for three minutes for yourself.

Whether that's a coffee, watching a

video, whatever it be for you.

>> I'm just glad we're down to 3 minutes

and not this I can cope with. All right,

number four.

>> Number four is the one we all know which

we've heard a million times, but we

don't do it is exercise. And I've heard

>> and I know and I know you say that like

you've heard all of these things a

million times, but it is the most

obvious things that have the biggest

impact, right?

>> So So when you talk about these habits

because they feel simple, making it a

habit, like how do you make your

exercise a habit? There's two things

about human psychology that make

exercise easier. One is it has to be

collaborative and two it has to be

competitive.

>> Collaborative. I work out at 5:30 in the

morning. Like who am I?

>> You don't need a real person there. Even

if it's an accountability partner, if

there's someone else who's waking up in

another clim in another environment, it

could be someone online like whenever

you're um even if you're posting your

scores with your friends and you might

not be working out at the same time, but

it's collaborating and knowing that

other people you love and trust are

working out as well. It's having that

community around you.

>> I don't like this one. Is am I not am I

not allowed to like some of the some of

the like 5:30 a.m. I look like I

don't want to talk to anyone. That's my

quiet time in the day. Like the

collaboration. Could I could I like text

someone?

>> Yeah. It's a different definition. I

When I say collaborative, I don't mean

it has to be with someone because that's

not possible for a lot of people. When I

say collaborative, it means you know

other people who have the same goals.

You're talking about it. You're texting

about it. You're messaging about it.

You're connecting about it. And that's

important for what reason?

>> Well, because you feel like, well, we're

both on this journey together. We've

both got that goal together. It's the

community. We all work better when we

feel accountable. Even if it's to a

friend, that doesn't mean that they're

there in the room. It doesn't mean that

you've got to be dressed up for your

workout at 5:30. What it means is me and

my friends set a goal and there's a

community of us and we're all inspiring

each other. Humans work better that way.

The second is make it competitive.

Humans love winning.

>> There's one I can get with humans love

winning. You do the 10,000 step contest

in your family, everyone's going to be

walking at 9:00 p.m. trying to get to

10,0002. So, make it competitive. That's

what we've not done with exercise. We've

tried to make it routine. We've tried to

make it a habit.

>> This stuff gets boring. Competition

doesn't get boring.

>> We all love it when we were kids and you

had to go and beat the other school. Now

it's like, what are we doing?

>> Exactly. So, that's how you make I can

get with that one.

>> And then the final one is sleep. And

this one is the underestimated one. Yes,

>> because people just don't realize how

much sleep is boosting their life. So

those five habits go thankfulness,

insight, meditation, exercise, sleep. It

spells times, t i ms. So you can

remember that as always being the five

non-negotiables.