Shakespearean dating tips - Anthony John Peters

Using the word Shakespeare

within any classroom in the 21st century

has become almost as dangerous for teachers

as putting balloons in a toaster.

After uttering this simple word,

the common teacher is met with a mass of groans,

moans,

devastated looks,

and the occasional chair tossed in his or her direction.

But Shakespearean works are not boring,

confusing,

long and painful plays written more than 400 years ago.

They're adventures relating to the extremities

of human nature:

love,

hate,

jealousy,

zealous ambition,

fear,

mistrust,

deception,

and murder.

We owe much of our own language to his invention.

He invented over 2,000 words

for use in his plays,

which still remain in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Words like "countless"

and "assassination"

as well as phrases like

"one fell swoop,"

"foul play,"

and even "to be in a pickle"

all originated from William's brilliant brain.

And there are many echoes

of Shakespeare's romantic language too.

If you read Romeo and Juliet,

you'll come across sentences like,

"She doth teach the torches to burn bright,"

and, "So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows."

Both are quite clever metaphors,

suggesting that Juliet is both exceptionally beautiful

and far moreso than anyone else.

"For thou art as glorious to this night,

being o'er my head,

as is a winged messenger of heaven,"

is a simile suggesting angelic qualities

of the lady in question.

This is not too different from today's comments like,

"Hey, beautiful!"

and, "You're the hottest girl in the room."

Shakespeare also uses

slightly more complex metaphors

to describe the intentions of a mischievous man.

For instance,

"This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: My lips,

two blushing pilgrims,

ready stand to smooth that rough touch

with a tender kiss,"

essentially means, "I wish to kiss you."

Such male intentions were not limited

to simple pecks on the cheek either.

An intentional ambiguity was often used

as a cheeky means to proposition marriage

or a more intimate relationship.

Therefore, instead of viewing Shakespearean works

as out-dated, boring, and unhelpful,

start reading today

and discover the best ways

to get the one you love

to love you back.