My wife is demanding we change our child’s last name to her ex-husband’s, so I filed for divorce...

My wife is demanding we change our

child's last name to her ex-husband. So,

I filed for divorce and she refuses to

accept it. Three weeks after our

daughter was born, she kicked me out of

our own house. The reason? She wanted

our baby to have her dead ex-husband's

surname, not mine. His. Her ex died 4

years ago. PTSD after Afghanistan. She

has a 12-year-old son from that marriage

who lives with us. I've been in his life

since he was six. The kid has his

biological father's last name, and so

does she. She never changed it after we

got married, which honestly should have

been my first red flag. But now, she's

demanding our newborn daughter take that

name, too. Her logic. If the baby has my

surname, her son will feel alienated.

Like somehow having different last names

means I love one kid less than the

other. I tried everything to compromise.

I told her that since I practically

raised her son for 6 years, maybe he

could take my name. That way, everyone's

together. She lost it. Started crying,

saying I was trying to erase his real

father's memory. Said I was being

selfish and cruel. So, I suggested we

all take my surname as a family unit.

Fresh start. She shut that down

immediately. Said her son has had his

name his entire life and shouldn't have

to change it to appease me. Those were

her exact words. The name registration

was scheduled for Thursday. By Tuesday,

we'd barely spoken in 5 days. The house

felt like a tomb. She'd stay in the

bedroom with the baby and I'd sleep on

the couch. Every conversation ended in

her crying or me walking away. Then her

son, this 12-year-old kid, pulled me

aside one evening while she was

upstairs. He looked nervous but

determined. "Dad," he said, "I don't

care if we have different names. You're

my dad. He was my father, but you're the

one here." I felt this weight lift off

my chest. I thought maybe if I told her

what he said, she'd finally understand.

So that night at dinner, I brought it up

as gently as I could. She went pale,

then red. Then she started screaming

that I had emotionally manipulated her

son, that I'd poisoned him against his

real father's memory. I hadn't even

finished explaining before she threw her

glass across the kitchen. Tuesday night,

2 days before the registration, she

cornered me in the hallway. Her eyes

looked wild. She said if I forced our

daughter to have my name, she'd rather

take her own life than live with that

decision. She said it twice. I didn't

know what else to do. I called the

police and told them she'd threatened to

harm herself. Told them she might have

postpartum depression and wasn't safe

around the baby. They came within 20

minutes. She protested the entire time

they put her in the car. Kept saying it

was just said in anger that she was

fine, but they took her anyway for a

72-hour evaluation. Thursday morning, I

went to the registry office alone. I

chose every name myself, first, middle,

and last. All mine. No trace of him

anywhere. Friday afternoon, her ex's

parents showed up at my door. They had a

key from when they used to babysit. They

walked right in and tried to take the

baby from the nursery. Said my wife had

instructed them through her sister to

collect both kids until she was

released. I blocked the doorway to the

baby's room and told them to leave. They

threatened to call the police. I said,

"Go ahead. I'm the legal parent here and

you have no rights to my daughter." They

left with their grandson instead. Packed

his stuff while I watched. That weekend,

my in-laws came by, said they wanted to

take the baby to see my wife in the

hospital. When I said no, they kept

pushing. Called me difficult. Said I was

being cruel to keep a mother from her

child. I told them no 15 times before

they finally left. Monday, a health

inspector showed up. Clipboard, official

badge, the whole thing. walked through

the house, asked about feeding

schedules, checked the nursery. She said

social services were involved now due to

my wife's mental state, but everything

looked fine. I was the stable parent. My

wife was released Tuesday. She didn't

come home, went straight to her parents

house. She's been there for 2 weeks now.

Tried twice to take the baby when I

wasn't looking. Once when I was taking

out the trash, once when I was in the

shower, I changed all the locks after

that. Now she drops off expressed breast

milk through her sister. Three times a

day. Her sister knocks, leaves the

bottles on the porch, and drives away

without saying a word. The divorce

papers are filed. My lawyer says I'll

get primary custody given the

circumstances. Health services already

sided with me. Her parents called

yesterday. said I'm a monster for

keeping their grandchild away, that I'm

cruel and vindictive. I told them their

daughter chose a dead man over a living

one, and she made that choice the day

she prioritized his name over mine. The

line went quiet. Then her mother said,

"She'll never forgive you for this." I

said, "Good. That makes two of us.