The Basic Problem with Most Men Have

So the basic problem that most men have

is that since we are numbing ourselves

from our emotions, our emotions are

programming us in ways that are

maladaptive. And then once I have all of

this maladaptive programming of I'm

avoiding this, I'm running away from

that. I'm not motivated, then I try to

use all of these compensatory mechanisms

like willpower and habit and taking

magnesium at night and using all these

supplements. I'm trying to do all this

stuff to overcome myself. So, here's

what I found as a psychiatrist that is

so hard. I've told you guys I am lazy.

I'm still lazy. I've always be lazy. I

will always be lazy. You don't need to

work hard. You don't need to have

willpower. I also have terrible habits.

What I find is the most useful thing is

to reprogram yourself. And once your

default programming changes, then your

life becomes way easier. Imagine for a

moment that if you did not feel

avoidance for asking someone out on a

date. If you did not feel avoidance for

asking for a promotion, right? If you

didn't have those negative emotions,

imagine how free your life would be.

Discipline and willpower and habit to

overcome yourself. Oh my god, it's so

much work. I hate that crap. I don't

know if this makes sense, but we are so

concerned about overcoming our

instinctual desires, what feels natural

to us. That's why we're habits,

willpower, discipline, because we need

to overcome the stuff that's down here.

And why is that so important for men,

right? Why are we the ones that are

obsessed with this? Because if you know

how to emotionally process, you don't

need willpower or I mean, you still do

on some level, but like you need a lot

less of it, right? So, if I can alter

the way that my emotional experiences

program my brain, my need for willpower

to overcome that programming goes way

Down.