I'm 33. If You're In Your 20s or 30s, Watch This.

At 19, I was arrested six times. I was

broke and I was completely lost. By 23,

I'd made my first million. And now at

33, I want to tell you exactly how I did

it so [music] you can avoid the same

mistakes that I made. So, if you are

ready to lock in and get ahead of 99% of

people, here are the [music] six habits

that you can use to build real wealth.

Habit number one, immediate

gratification. What if the thing keeping

you broke has nothing to do with your

income and everything to do with how

fast [music] you need to be rewarded?

You need to understand this concept so

you do not let tiny choices control your

life. Okay, so I will never forget this

because this is the epitome of

everything I think about on a daily

basis. Okay, there was a study done. It

was at Stanford. There were

psychologists and they placed

preschoolers into a room with a single

marshmallow at the table and they were

told this. You can eat this now or wait

15 minutes and you can get two

marshmallows. So, what happened? Okay,

some kids grabbed the marshmallow within

seconds. They were like, "Fuck it, give

me my marshmallow." Other kids, they

were like squirming. They covered their

eyes. They were like doing all this

stuff. They're holding their nose so

they don't smell the marshmallow so they

could resist temptation. The test ended

after 15 minutes, but the followup on

this test was crazy. So the researchers,

they followed those kids. The kids who

managed to wait, not only scored higher

on their SATs, but decades later, they

had healthier relationships, they had

lower body mass index, and they had

stronger careers and made more money.

This is one of the most famous studies

in psychology because it revealed

something very, very simple yet very

profound about humans, which is the

ability to delay [music] gratification.

Choosing future reward over instant

comfort was is and was one of the

strongest predictors of long-term

success. So, who do you think you are?

Do you eat the marshmallow right away?

Or are you the person that can control

their actions [music] and delay

gratification? Now, here's the truth.

Most people operate on immediate

gratification. And that is why they are

broke. That is why they're overweight.

That is why they don't have the

relationship they want. They optimize

for today's comfort at tomorrow's

expense. And this is also why 78% of

Americans live paycheck to paycheck.

regardless of income. Okay? I tell

people this all the time. I'm like,

"Listen, if you don't make a lot of

money and you're broke, when you make a

lot of money, you're still going to be

broke." I see it all the time. It is a

habit. It is a way of being. It is

immediate gratification. You will just

find more expensive to spend your money

on. I remember when I was younger and I

lived this way. I lived paycheck to

paycheck when I was making $30,000 a

year and when I was making $85,000 a

year. Now, why is that? Because I did

not understand this philosophy yet. I

was constantly taking the first

marshmallow. more money, spend more,

right? Think about it. A lot of people

do this. Once I realized that I had not

only over I had tripled my income and I

was still living that way. I was like,

"Oh, you're just going to keep finding

to spend money on." That is when I

decided to make a different choice with

my life. I decided that every dollar

that I had, it became capital. It became

an asset. It was not something to use to

consume things. What happened is that

while everybody else they were planning

weekend trips, they [music] were buying

stuff they wanted. They were spending

their money on their hair and their

nails, their outfits and all the stuff.

I was like, "Screw it. I don't I don't

care anymore. I'm buying stuff from

Goodwill. I am going to the cheapest

place to buy food. I am no longer

getting my hair and makeup done. I am

funding my future. I am now choosing to

wait for the second marshmallow." So, I

treated short-term sacrifice as my

long-term strategy before any purchase.

Ask yourself one question. Does spending

my money on this build my self-respect

or break it? You ever buy something and

then you feel gross after? Seriously,

you've done it for sure. I'm not saying

you went to like the sex toy store. I'm

saying you bought something and you feel

bad that you did it. You feel like you

knew you shouldn't have spent that

money. Now, why is that? Because you're

breaking promises you made to yourself.

You said you would wait for the second

marshmallow, but you keep buying that

thing. Now, another question you could

ask, does spending my money on this get

me closer to my goals or put me further

away from them? We need to [music] buy

things based on these questions, not do

I want it? Is it on sale? Does somebody

else think I should buy it? Will I look

cool if I wear it? Habit number two,

check the numbers daily. The biggest

threat to your wealth and how much money

you have isn't what you earn, it is what

you avoid. There was a study, it was

behavioral economists, and they call

this the ostrich effect. People

literally avoid looking at negative

financial information the same way that

you see an ostrich just buries their

head in the sand during a market crash.

Instead of looking for opportunities to

buy, most people actually [music] do

this. And this is tracked by banks. They

log in less. They miss rebound. They

lock themselves into long-term losses

because they don't want to look at it.

Sometimes when the stock crashes, and I

know how much money I have in the stock

market. I'm like, I don't want to look

at it. But I'm like, you've got to look

at it. You have to know because it is a

behavior. It's a habit. It's not about

the money. It's about the habit that it

creates. And this behavior isn't limited

to stocks. Most people avoid even

opening bills, credit card statements,

their banking app when they think

there's going to be bad news. Now, the

irony to this is very obvious, which

avoiding the numbers does not make the

problem go away. It actually makes it

worse. It's like if you don't weigh

yourself for a year, you probably get

fatter because you cannot improve what

you refuse to face. And avoidance is

expensive. People avoid their finances

like they avoid difficult conversations.

And both habits keep them weak. I

remember I had had a low month in terms

of I wasn't making as many sales in my

job. And I was driving and I pulled my

banking app out because I need to look

at it cuz I realized I hadn't. And then

I started crying because I was like, "Oh

my gosh, I am not making enough money."

And then I got pulled over and I got a

ticket for being on my phone. And I was

like, "A $200 ticket for checking my

bank account." I showed the guy. I was

like, "I'm poor." And I was crying for

being poor. Can you please not give me

this ticket? Even remembering a moment

like that, it's important to me because

even though it's hard, even though it

sucks, even though I hate looking at it,

I'm going to look at it until I change

it. That's when I got control over my

life and control over my finances. You

cannot manage what you don't measure.

And if you look at wealthy individuals,

there is one consistent behavior. They

track that [music]

meticulously. I will tell you that I

track everything now. In fact, I am

cheaper now that I am rich than I was

when I was poor. [music] It's because to

get there, you realize one how hard it

is to make money. Two, that if you don't

know where all the money goes, then

you're not constantly able to resource

[music] yourself. So the wealthiest 1%

they know their exact numbers more than

middle income earners and they got more

account so there's no excuse. So here's

what you're [music] going to do. You're

going to open your bank account every

day for 30 days. Record every

transaction. Train your brain that

financial reality is manageable. It is

not a threat. It will feel shitty and

then less shitty and eventually not

shitty and it'll feel good because you

realize that you are being the person

you want to be. Which brings me to habit

number three. Radical responsibility.

You're like, "Oh my gosh, this is not a

get-rich quick." No, it's not because

you cannot get rich quick. Okay, there

are two types of people in this world.

The ones who believe that life happens

to them versus those that believe they

make things happen. This is why some

people rise up stronger from failure

while other people just collapse

underneath of it. Something I realized

in my 20s is that blame is the enemy of

improvement. When I make and made early

business mistakes, I hired [music] the

wrong people. I had a failed launch. I

missed opportunities. I kept people in

my business too long. I sold to the

wrong customers. My first instinct was

to find external [music] reasons. And

then I remember talking one time to one

of my mentors. He said, "Layla, you gain

nothing and your team [music] gains

nothing by blaming your customer." And

what I realized after that, it really

like impacted me a lot. If I'm [music]

not responsible, I'm also not powerful

and I'm also not the one who can solve

it. Blame gives you reasons, but having

ownership and taking responsibility

gives you [music] control over doing

something about the situation. And so

what that did is it allowed me to look

at every failure as data. [music] Every

mistake is an instruction as to what to

do differently next time because I can

do something about it. Now in

psychology, this is called the locust of

control. People with an internal locus

believe that they shape their outcomes

in the world. Whereas people that have

an external locus believe that fate or

other people or powers outside of

themselves decide what happens. So

believing you're in charge does not just

change your mindset, it changes your

results. Because it determines how much

effort you're willing to put in when

things get hard. Because [music] if you

believe it's all up to other people, how

hard do you think you're going to try?

Not that hard. So here's how you're

going to form this habit. Document the

last two things that significantly went

wrong in your life. And these might be

bad. They might be really bad. I

understand that. For each [music] one,

identify your specific contribution to

this outcome. I just want you to ask,

how did I contribute to this situation?

How am I responsible for this situation?

And trust me, I know cuz I have had some

situations that areed up. Then what you

can do is now you've taken a situation

that you felt powerless and you felt

like a victim and you've made yourself

the victor and you've decided to be the

person that can do something about it.

Habit number four, do the hard things

first. I [music] know that this sucks to

hear, but your brain is wired to waste

energy on all the wrong things and it is

wired to be lazy. We are wired to be

lazy. People are always like, "Oh my

gosh, Ila, like I don't feel ready. I

feel lazy. I feel like I don't want to."

No That's what we're supposed to

do. Our bodies want to conserve energy.

Our brains want to conserve energy. Your

brain will always look for the easiest

route [music] because that is what you

were wired for. There's nothing wrong

with you, my friend. This is how we're

all wired. The moment that I started

leading [music] with the hardest tasks

each day, everything else felt

manageable and momentum was like a daily

norm after that. It actually started

when I was losing weight because I said,

"I will make myself work out at 5:00

a.m. every day." I was like, I hate

getting up at 5:00 a.m. and I hate

working out and I don't want to do this,

but I was like, I will do the hardest

thing first at the very beginning of my

day. And if you look at high performers

and people who have what you want in

life, what they do is they tackle

complexity when their mental resources

are strongest. [music] Even for myself,

I know I am not making decisions past 4

or 5 p.m. My team knows they will ask me

a question. I'll be like, I will find a

way to deflect the question. I'll be

like, "Let me come back to you tomorrow.

Let me think about that." Now, why is

that? Cuz I can measure. I'm like, "Ah,

you're not that sharp right now." High

performers, they're not going to be

sharper longer than somebody else. They

just know when they're not and to delay

the decision. Now, what average

performers do is they delay difficulty

and all the things that take hard work

until later in the day, until it becomes

a crisis, until they absolutely can't

move forward without doing it. There's

somebody that's probably before your

time if you're watching this video, but

his name is Brian Tracy, and he

popularized this idea, and I remember it

to this day, which is called Eat the

Frog. The [music] premise is this. If

you had to eat a live frog every

morning, maybe a toad because they're

even more disgusting. The rest of the

day would feel easy in comparison. Like

if you woke up and you had to eat an

actual frog every morning, like it's

live. This thing's like flapping in your

mouth, right? Everything else would be

like, "Dude, it's a breeze. I ate a frog

this morning." That frog represents your

hardest, highest leverage task. Okay?

The one that you would avoid, but that

would move your life forward the most

because we know eating frogs is

powerful. So the principle is simple but

powerful. Okay? Success belongs to

people who are willing to swallow the

hardest bite before anything else. So,

here's how you're going to take action

on [music] this habit. Okay? Identify

something you've been avoiding because

it's really challenging. Maybe it's

something you have to do tomorrow. Maybe

it's something you have to do next week.

Maybe it's something that's been

lingering in the back of your head that

you like wake up in the middle of night

thinking about. It's one of those

things. Right now, we're going to plan

to do it first thing tomorrow morning.

We are going to execute it before you

check your [music]

email, your Slack, your Instagram, your

Facebook, your WhatsApp, your Signal. I

don't know what you use, but before

everything, you're just going to do that

and you're going to say, "I am not

allowed to do anything else until it's

done." Do the hard thing first. Reward

yourself second. Habit number five,

choose skills over status symbols.

[music]

This is the truth is that only broke

people spend money trying to look

successful. Okay? Money has essentially

two functions. There's signaling [music]

and there's building. That's it. It's

like either you're building stuff with

your money. It is a tool that you use to

build something else. [music] Or it's a

signal. You're using it to show people

that you actually have it. Here's the

thing. Researchers have found that when

people feel uncertain about where they

stand socially, they become more likely

to buy luxury items, clothes, watches,

cars, [music] all these things. Now,

it's not because they need them. It's

because they want to signal worth to

other people. And this is normal. Humans

seek status. This is not like there's

something wrong with you or you're

lesser than. I'm the same way. I mean,

clearly I wear things and I have

clothing that I like, right? But what

[music] you need to realize is this.

Status purchases depreciate. And so if

you are trying to become wealthy, these

things are not going to add to your

[music] wealth. They're not going to

build upon each other. Whereas knowledge

and talent and skills are appreciating

assets. If you build on your character,

if you build on your skill sets, like

those things [music] are going to get

better with time. They're going to be

bigger. You're going to have more of

them. And I know that it seems scary to

invest a small amount of money in skills

because it's like you're betting on

yourself. And I get it. I have been

there. But that is the best thing that

you can do. I remember the first

purchase I made. Biggest purchase I ever

made. I was 22 and I finally had $5,000

in my bank account like [music] saved

and I had this course I wanted to buy.

It's $3,000 and I bought that course and

then you know what I realized there was

a part one and part two I bought part

two. I started watching the thing I was

like what [music] the are they talking

about and then I was like oh my god at

that time this was you know decade ago

there was no customer support there was

no you're going to swap this. I was like

I'm you know what it taught me always

double check. But what I did do at that

point is I stopped optimizing for

external validation. I started

optimizing for my internal growth

because real confidence it does not come

from the clothes you wear, from the

jewelry you own, or from how you do your

hair and makeup. It comes from how you

feel about yourself inside. I promise

[music] that I have both things. This

doesn't matter if you don't have this.

So, here's what you're going to do with

the money that you didn't spend on this

stupid. Before any status purchase, ask

yourself this. Is this building [music]

my capability or my image? If it's

image, redirect that money towards

capability. Allocate 20% of your income

to either education or buying your time

back to invest in your skills. If you

can just do $20 [music] towards skills

or systems, that will multiply your

output. That is a worthwhile investment

to make. Now, habit number six, I want

you to manufacture discomfort. [music]

Okay? The things that you resist doing

are always the things that will unlock

your biggest growth. Now, here's the

thing. People like, I don't know.

Discomfort is actually just information.

[music] It tells you where you have room

to grow. So, it's like people say they

want to get better, but then they don't

want to be uncomfortable. It's like,

well, then you don't want to get better

because in order to get better, you have

to be uncomfortable. People who choose

hard things end up handling life's

unwanted hard things far [music] better.

So, if you pursue hard things, you do a

hard workout, you have a hard

conversation, you [music] do something

that scares you, you are training your

brain to reframe that stress [music]

as a good thing instead of a threat. So

suddenly your brain says, "Oh, stress

leads to growth." Rather than stress

leads to fail, die, be killed. Right?

Because our old outdated system thinks

stress equals bad. [music] Run away.

Guys, you go to a party and people don't

talk to you. Like you're not going to

die. I know sometimes it feels like it

inside, but like you're not going to

die. You're going to be fine. [music] So

the biggest way that you can move

forward towards that discomfort is to

audit your environment. Think about

this. [music] If everyone around you

operates at your level or below, where

do you think you're going? [music] the

people around you on a thermometer. You

need to intentionally place yourself in

rooms where you feel underprepared and

uncomfortable because that means that

you're going to grow. A lot of people

avoid that. They're like, "Oh, that

person, they've got an ego. They're too

intense. They're too what you told me

right now is that you're actually just

uncomfortable with that person [music]

because they have something that you

don't yet have. They have a level of

something that makes you uncomfortable.

That's not a bad thing. And if you take

anything from this, let it be that

wealth is not built by luck. It is built

by choosing habits that have nothing to

do with wealth, that trade comfort for

growth every single day. So, if you like

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