On Betraying Your Own Potential | a perspective from Sartre

I have led a toothless life, he thought.

A toothless life. I have never bitten

into anything. I was waiting. I was

reserving myself for later on. And I

have just noticed that my teeth have

gone. This is a famous line from the

book The Age of Reason, which explores a

core idea of Satra's philosophy that man

is free in his choices. Yet, this very

freedom is also what condemns him. The

novel is a portrait of unlived

potential, and it constantly debates the

idea of freedom, showing how it can

become a trap. how the illusion of

endless possibilities can keep us from

creating anything, waiting for the ideal

in a world of endless possibilities

where we are free to choose. In this

video, I will be discussing the book

alongside some of these ideas. So, there

will be spoilers just to let you know

now. First, let's start with a bit of a

overview of the story. We meet Matur, a

philosophy professor living in Paris,

when he discovers that his reclusive

lover, Marcel, has become pregnant.

seeking money for an abortion whilst

also fighting his own indecision and

insecurities. The novel plunges us into

three days of Matio's life, which is a

life that not only brings him deep

dissatisfaction, but he is also very

quickly losing control of. In these

three days, he hardly sleeps. He drinks

way too much, asks everyone he knows for

money, and even changes his mind about

the marriage or abortion about a dozen

times to ultimately do nothing at all.

The story begins as he stands on the

threshold of what he ironically calls

the age of reason. And this is a theme

that is mirrored at the open and close

of the novel. And everything that

happens in between is simply an

explanation for his crossing of this

threshold. Throughout the story, we see

that his life is so full of

possibilities, but he always refuses. He

never takes any of these unless he feels

that his heart is 100% in it. He prides

himself on having no commitments, no

obligations that could in any way

restrict or trap him. But this comes at

the cost of the very things that he

actually desires. His idealism is what

blinds him and makes him think that he

can have a life that is perfect and

flawless. So he avoids anything that

doesn't live up to this ideal that he

waits for. But it's a trap. This idea of

freedom that is depicted in the story is

him refusing to make choices. He is

constantly refusing different life paths

before him out of fear of being

restricted. But this is a freedom of not

a freedom to. There are all sorts of

different understandings of what freedom

actually means. And one of these very

simply is that there is freedom from

doing things. And this is the freedom

from experiences that we don't want to

go through. But then there is also on

the other side the freedom to the

freedom to do and experience the things

that we want. And this is exactly what

we see with Mature. He cannot do the

things he wants because he refuses to

commit to the very things that would

give him more freedom in the long run.

Ultimately his freedom is nothing. It's

empty. This contradiction is exactly

what leads to the core pain of the

story. In refusing to commit to anything

to preserve his freedom, Matio realizes

that his life has come to nothing. In

the final pages of the book, Matio

states, "All I do, I do for nothing. It

might be said that I am robbed of the

consequences of my acts. Everything

happens as though I could always play my

strokes again. I don't know what I would

give to do something irrevocable." And

what's interesting is that he says this

right at the end when he decides to do

nothing at all. So why does he act so

contrary to his proclaimed desire? His

actions confuse us throughout the entire

novel. He can't confess his love to

Marcel yet he will make her go get an

abortion. Both of these things are

choices that have different

consequences. Yet what he fears the most

is responsibility. And perhaps this is

why he runs to Ivich, who is

disinterested in him and not a real

candidate for a relationship or

marriage. Anyways, as soon as he's

confronted with his very real attachment

to Marcel, who loves him and now also

needs him. In the past, his relationship

with Marcel was non-committal. He

benefited from it without any real

responsibilities towards her. And this

is the only thing that has actually

changed in the story through her falling

pregnant. It's this glimmer of a

potential responsibility that sends him

running, refusing the task, and

resigning himself to a life of nothing

at all. He calls this the age of reason,

yet it's a mask for something entirely

unreasonable, the fear of life. While

Matio believes that commitment of any

kind is a loss of his freedom, at the

same time by refusing to make any real

choices, he is also refusing to live his

life. It's obvious that there is so much

potential in him that is never realized.

There is so much inside of him that is

never brought into life because he

refuses to commit to any one path. He

avoids making any choice until he can

find this ideal. But in doing so, he

basically lets his whole life waste

away. However, commitment is necessary

for true freedom. Without it, we have

nothing. We are free to choose in life.

But that freedom can only be realized by

actually making choices by intentionally

choosing how we shape our life. This is

what shows us that maybe we need to look

at commitments as roots rather than

chains. It's just like the saying how

specializing in something may restrict

us temporarily, but it actually opens up

our options later on. It gives us more

possibilities and more freedom through

committing to something. Mati has so

much talent and potential, yet it's all

wasted. And perhaps that's what makes

the ending of the book so bitter. It's a

failed life. We can see through the

series of all of his little choices that

it didn't have to be that way. He calls

it reaching the age of reason, but it's

ironic because his behavior is anything

but reasonable. Reason would mean to

live honestly according to one's true

character. reason would encourage Matu

to marry Marcel to raise their child

together, to accept his brother's offer

for a better and higher paying job. And

yet, Mat and every other character in

the story consistently says one thing

while their actions state the opposite.

They are constantly at war with

themselves. caught between their true

desires and the lies that they tell

themselves in order to avoid any and all

responsibilities in life. Mati is

ultimately afraid of making a mistake of

taking on responsibilities that he

cannot fulfill. Yet this comes at the

cost of never realizing his full

potential of settling for a life of

disappointment. He avoids failure and

therefore he avoids success. Matir

believes in his own potential so much

that he is most afraid of ending up

ordinary. And this is a very common

theme, one that we see a lot with these

sort of idealistic intellectual

characters. They hide away from life in

their own minds where they can believe

that they have so much potential. They

have so much talent. They can feel

special and significant and their worth

is never challenged by the trials of

life. And while they really may have all

these possibilities, they ultimately

never realize any of it. Their life is

empty. Does this sound familiar? Yung

would call this the pua complex, which

is the fear of life. It is a state of

psychic immaturity where usually each

challenge we encounter in life acts as

an opportunity for growth. Instead, we

run away from it. Rather than fighting

the dragon and emerging from it as a

hero with a boon, we run away and we

remain stuck in these unresolved stories

and we feel the weight of all these

unlived possibilities and resentment on

our chest. And Mati fits into this

perfectly. He repeats the same mistakes

over and over again. He even dreads time

passing because as he says, he knows

that 6 months from now he'll be exactly

the same as he is in the moment. And

maybe this is why he's hanging out with

people so much younger than he is

because he's unable to grow. He's unable

to move on. He no longer grows as a

person. And this is why his age starts

to feel like a burden to him because he

has nothing to show for it. He gradually

grows bitter as he tries to cope with

this failure of a life. This is where

the novel explores one of the core ideas

of Satra's philosophy, which is that

existence precedes essence. This means

that man is not born with an intrinsic

value but creates his own value through

his will and actions. He is forloren

because he is devoid of God and only

himself responsible for his actions as

well as inactions. Inaction also being

an action. He is free to choose in his

life. And ultimately this freedom is

what becomes his condemnation. As sato

puts it in his existentialism as a

humanism. Man first of all exists,

encounters himself, surges up in the

world, and defines himself afterwards.

We see this in every character in the

story. There is no such thing as fate or

potential, but instead each character is

a culmination of their choices. Matio

wants to see himself as some

misunderstood idealist, but in reality,

he is a coward and a failure. He is

unsuccessful in nearly every area of his

life. And people no doubt think poorly

of him, especially after he goes around

begging and stealing money from the

people he knows in order to abort his

own child. He's constantly questioning

himself and breaking down upon his loved

ones, claiming that he doesn't know what

he wants. And it's pathetic. And I think

that's exactly the wakeup call that this

book is supposed to have. One of my

favorite novels is by Herman Hessa which

actually has many similarities to Age of

Reason. However, involve the tone of the

narration has always been really

interesting to me because it seems to

have a very mocking yet also comforting

tone. The narrative laughs at the

character of the boy again and again.

How he takes himself so seriously, how

he fights with himself, how he runs away

from everything in life. And Age of

Reason carries the same sort of

undertone. Even the title itself is

ironic. All we see is every single

character act unreasonably throughout

the story. And the final paragraph of

the book only highlights this irony. The

story ends with he yawned. He had

finished the day and he had also

finished with his youth. Various well-

bred moralities had already discreetly

offered him their services.

disillusioned epicurionism, smiling

tolerance, resignation, common sense,

stoicism, all the aids whereby a man may

savor minute by minute like a

connoisseur the failure of a life. He

took off his jacket and began to undo

his necktie. He yawned again as he

repeated to himself, "It's true. It's

absolutely true. I have attained the age

of reason." And this is exactly what

makes the reader want to grab him and

shake him and say, "No, go back."

because he can change all of this and

it's painful because it's obviously not

reasonable. It's simply the result of

all of his own choices. In both and age

of reason, we have a point where the

characters are laughing at themselves at

how seriously they had taken themselves

and realizing that nothing actually

matters. They are free, but the very

thing that restricts them is this

identity that they have built for

themselves. Steenov ends on a note of

hope. We see that maybe he actually has

change. There is hope for him and his

future that he can change his identity

and turn his life around. However, Age

of Reason ends on a very pessimistic

note. Despite Matier having a final

chance to actually change his ways and

have everything that he wants, the end

of the book shows him giving up. It

shows him not taking any action and

ultimately comforting himself with the

worst possible tools and knowing that he

has made his bed and now he wants to lie

in it. We know that he will likely never

change. He will grow resentful and

bitter, never realizing all that he

could have been. I know when I first

read this book, I felt the lesson of it

quite deeply. It feels like an

uncomfortable jab, a bit like those

stories that were read as kids that are

cautionary tales that try to teach you

moral lessons through these exaggerated

consequences of misbehavior. And Age of

Reason reads a lot like an adult version

of this. It's made me realize how much

last year I was in my shoes. I've felt

this with writing. I've had many

projects that I'm working on, but have

been hesitant to commit to any one

because what if it's the wrong choice?

What if another one is better? But you

know, it's been over a year of this kind

of hesitance. And you know what's a lot

worse than choosing the wrong project?

Never finishing any. This is what made

me think of a quote that I read a while

ago that really gave me a good push.

Action happens when you stop asking what

if I fail and start asking what if I

don't try. One keeps you stuck, the

other makes you move. And this is the

thing. Often times the thing that keeps

us stuck is doubt. Matu doubts himself

constantly. He questions himself over

and over. He is always doubtful. He

waits and waits to make a decision until

he has absolute certainty. And yet, in

doing so, he never makes any decision at

all. And this is really contrasted by

other characters in the story who don't

wait for certainty, but simply act in

the moment. They have a lot more

momentum and also agency in the story.

I've realized that in my own writing,

it's also doubt that has been keeping me

from making a decision. However, I've

realized that doubt is a very important

part of the process. It shows us areas

for growth, for improvement. I believe

the way to success in whatever you do

isn't so much a flat path to follow, but

it's more like a stairwell where every

time you try to take a step forward, you

reach a point where your way is blocked

off. You cannot continue exactly the way

that you've been going. You need to

literally and figuratively step up. And

this requires action. And this requires

a change. Mat never does this. He never

steps up. He doesn't step up in his

career, in his relationship, as a

father, in his social life. He

constantly remains at such a low level

that only at the end does he realize

that he has been hanging out with a

bunch of kids, getting drunk, and doing

dumb stuff every night while they see

him as this weird old man who just tags

along. He's behind in life, and it's

because he refuses to take that step.

Just imagine how different his life

could look if he would actually act upon

the opportunities in front of him. He

would work with his brother and make

good money to live the bourgeoa

lifestyle that he actually desires. He

could get involved in politics and

actually put his philosophy to the test

in the real world. He would be a father,

a husband, all of these things that he

wants. And would they all be perfectly

easy and seamless? Probably not. but he

would be able to figure it out just like

every other person. He would be able to

actually put his potential to the test.

There's a saying that if you knew you

were 100 failures away from success, how

fast would he want to fail? And I think

this is a great thought to keep in mind

cuz often the very thing that we are

avoiding that we are postponing our

actions is because we are afraid of

failure. And yet when you think about

it, success doesn't have any meaning

without failure. We need to fail and we

need to fail most of the time because

success is what makes up that rare

moment that our efforts are paid off. So

then the question becomes how can we

fail and learn enough to get to where we

want to be? I can now look back on the

past few years of my life and see how I

would have had more success if I would

have allowed myself to fail more easily.

Instead, I dragged things out. I even

avoided trying and wasted so much time

in doing so. And if you do this long

enough, you eventually end up like

Mature and you've wasted your whole

life. So to sum things up, Age of Reason

is a cautionary tale that expresses

Satra's philosophy that we are the sum

of our choices. And for life to have any

meaning at all, we must first create it

through our actions. that there is no

such thing as perfection and that

idealism is an intellectual trap that

will keep us from actually living our

life. Matu perfectly fits Yung's

archetype of the poet Atanos the eternal

child as he constantly runs from all

responsibility and commitment and he

calls this freedom but instead of

freedom he ends up with nothing. Oz is

his own wasted potential and in his own

words a failed life disguised under the

ironic mask of reason. Through the age

of reason, Satler calls out the trap

that so many people fall into. And

through Mati's story, we see how we make

the same mistakes in our own life,

living out of fear and how we justify it

through resignation, tolerance,

pessimism. And he mocks this. He

practically laughs at Matier, the

reader, who finds parts of himself come

alive in the story. And maybe that's why

I love this book. It's stories like

these, just like that, that make you

laugh. They make you laugh at life and

how absurd it all is and how we take

ourselves so seriously when none of it

actually matters. Mati starts the story

feeling like he is so important, he has

so much talent and potential and maybe

he does, but in the end he is only

defined by his actions and he realizes

that he is nothing. It's the restrictive

identity that he has built that keeps

him trapped that keeps him from actually

being able to choose to act to be free.

As Matier says, he has led a toothless

life. He has spent his whole life

waiting and waiting and has never bitten

into anything. And this really reminded

me of Sylvia Platt's metaphor of the fig

tree, which very similarly describes her

sitting under a fig tree and looking up

at all the different figs. And while she

is deciding which one to eat and pick,

she waits so long in her indecision that

all the figs have fallen from the tree

and have rotted. In this story, each of

the figs represents a different life

path that she could have taken. They are

all choices spread out in front of her.

And just like Mat, by refusing to take

any of them, her life passes by and she

never makes a choice. Both of these

stories teach us to simply act, to just

try and not let the trap of waiting for

some ideal cause us to waste our whole

life. Anyways, thank you so much for

watching. I hope you've enjoyed this

video. I would love to hear your

thoughts on this as well. So, please let

me know in the comments and I will see

you next time. Bye.