All Couples Have the Same Three Fights

All couples have the same [music] three

fights. You have to sit with your

partner and figure out what are our same

three fights. What are your basic like

root level three arguments? Where do you

both stand on them? And that way when

you're in an argument, even if you feel

like we still disagree, you can be like,

oh, this is argument number two. What

are we doing today? [music] A fight that

we have all the time is he says it's

good enough and I say it's not good

enough. Fighting about the socks on the

floor. It was not about the socks on the

floor. Actually, the root cause was I

want a perfect home and I cannot relax

until I feel like it's perfect. and he

feels like that doesn't matter. It's

good enough. That way when his socks are

on the floor, I can be like he thinks

it's good enough. He's happy. Socks on

the floor does not mean I'm not perfect.

But I can now say to him, I'm feeling

like very out of control. I need the

[music] house to be clean. Right? Like

now if I have the fight, I don't feel

contentous of him. I know where he's

coming from. And so the anger is much

less loaded. You know, I'm not like

judging him as a person because I

understand where this fight is coming

from and I know what I can ask