Why Trauma Bonding Feels Like Love

and so why do people stay becomes that

question listen I'm going to start with

the biggest one of all which is trauma

bonding right that idea that a

relationship that conflating this idea

of love and connection and attachment

with chaos usually in a trauma bonded

relationship the bad stuff is actually

really

fundamentally unhealthy stuff and the

good stuff is often more superficially

good stuff like we laughed we had a good

dinner we had great sex we went on a

good vacation like again it's

superficially good but the bad stuff is

sort of gaslighting manipulating

exploitative

dehumanizing stuff that's really sort of

unacceptable stuff but the good stuff

keep people in and confuses them and so

when they bad stuff happens they blame

themselves they feel guilty

um they feel maybe even pity they buy

the whole victimhood thing so then and

that cycle persists sometimes for

Lifetime