EP 198 | From $400 to Self Made Jenna Banks on Betting on Herself, and Choosing Self Love

You might not know what you're doing in

the beginning, but that's okay. Your

confidence is going to

uh pull people in and they're going to

have faith in you. Confidence is really

important and I know you talk a lot

about confidence, Lisa, but confidence

has been what's driven my career from

the very beginning.

Welcome to the confident podcast. I am

Lisa Tarkington, your guide to mastering

confidence and leadership. As the

business and life coach, keynote

speaker, and the driving force behind

lead, I am here to help you break free

from self-doubt. Silence the imposttor

syndrome and step into your power as the

person you're meant to be. If you press

play today, it's because you're ready

for something bigger. Each week, I'll

bring you real raw conversations and

actionable insights that will empower

you to redefine your leadership, reclaim

your confidence, and transform into the

unstoppable force you've always known

that you could be. This isn't just

another podcast. It's a journey we're on

together. So, buckle up and let's dive

into this transformation. Your next

level awaits.

Hi everybody. Welcome back for another

episode of the confident podcast. I am

your host Lisa Tarington and today is

going to be pretty amazing. We are going

to be talking to Jenna Banks. Um she has

been on the podcast before. She is

amazing. And we're going to be talking

about breaking free, being yourself,

betting on yourself, and how she went

from investing $400 into her business to

being self-made to selling one of her

first businesses to just being an

amazing author now. And our

conversation's pretty amazing because

Jenna shares her story. She shares her

story about being 14 and leaving her

home, her dad's home for the first time,

moving in at 16 with her mom and then

from there just a trajectory of

different life decisions um that led her

to the Netherlands at the age of 19 um

to

rocking it in the corporate world to

leaving those to selling her business

for half a million dollars and then

becoming an author. and I cannot wait

for you to learn more about her book.

It's I Love Me More. She's a

best-selling author. And just a little

bit about Jenna. So, she's a keynote

speaker, bestselling author of I Love Me

More, um that went viral on Tik Tok.

It's pretty cool to see. Um she's the

host of the Jenna Bank show. Um and she

has been seen on Forbes, ABC, NBC, and

CEO World magazine. She loves to help

women. She loves to help men. She loves

to help people just understand that they

can excel in leadership roles and be

more authentic to themselves. So, let's

dive into this conversation because I

don't want to miss another beat. So,

let's get into it.

>> Well, welcome, Jenna, to the Confident

podcast. I'm so happy to have you.

>> Thank you. I'm excited to be here today.

>> It's been what, probably four years

since you've been on the podcast.

>> Wow. Has it been that long? And maybe

I'm like exaggerating, but like that

maybe 2021.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Crazy. But and so much has happened,

right? Like in your life, in my life,

and we'll actually put the show that

Jenna was on in the in the show notes

for everybody. But we're excited to have

you back. We're going to be talking

about something completely different

than what we did before, which is how

you went from $400 to being self-made

and to like all of the things that

you've gone through to get to where you

are today. So, I'm excited to hear your

story. I know the audience is. So, we're

just going to dive right in. So,

>> let's do it.

>> So, first question, uh, take us back to

your childhood

>> and I read that the mo that you left

your home at the age of 14.

So,

>> tell us what what was the courage that

it was to take that step like take us

back to that moment.

>> Yeah. Well, uh, to to to give you

insight into what it took to leave, I

have to let you know a little bit about

some of the, you know, the adversity

that I had to overcome at the time. So,

or that the adversity I was dealing

with. So, I was raised in a very strict

religious home. I was the oldest of five

kids. I was the um only uh child from

the first marriage. So kind of maybe a

little bit of the black sheep, if you

will. But um but you know, so it was a

lot of oppression. We were really

harshly punished for doing things that

most kids got to do, like watching

Scooby-Doo cartoons because of the

supposed demonic ghosts in it, right? Or

eating candy because candy wasn't

allowed. We weren't allowed to have

sugar. Um fighting with my brother, all

the normal stuff that most kids do,

right? So it was just constant

oppression and I I'd have to sit in my

room for hours at a time, you know,

reading the Bible and it just during

those times I would just think, God,

life has to be better than this. I

really just didn't I didn't find any joy

in life. And I just kept wondering, you

know, what how could life be different?

What's on the other side? And one day,

you know, my father comes home to punish

me for one of those types of things that

I had most kids do.

And I I just had this burning feeling

inside of me. And I tried my best in the

book to write about that feeling because

I think it's really important to

understand those feelings in our body

that are guiding us into a different

direction for ourselves outside of what

we know, outside of our comfort zone.

Even if the comfort zone is toxic,

abusive, you know, all those things, it

still is comfortable, which is strange

to think about. So, I just felt all this

fear, but also kind of like excitement

thinking what, you know, I'm going to

say something that's going to change

things. I'm going to confront my father

and tell him I don't want to be here

anymore.

>> Wow.

>> The thought of doing that was super

scary.

>> Uh, right.

>> Scary for adults. And you were 14.

>> Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, "Well, what

would you do? Are you will you run

away?" And I was I hadn't thought about

it, but I was like, "Yes."

Right. And so then he had to really

think, "Wow, okay." I said, "Look, I

want to I want to live with my mother."

Now, I didn't know if that was an

option. I saw her once or once a year,

talked to her on the phone once a year.

Um I hadn't lived with her since I was a

baby. And so, but I had hoped it was an

option. And thankfully, uh well,

thankfully, but not so thankfully, she

said, "Yes, that's fine if she comes to

live with me." Now, that was a whole

another ball of wax when I went to go

live with her. But, uh, I was excited uh

to have the change, but it's also scary

when you're 14 years old. Uh, basically,

I had no uh, guidance when I went to

live with her. No parental figure at

all. It was come and go as you please,

no motheraughter check-ins. I slept on

the couch. I cried myself to sleep most

nights because it was a very toxic

environment. And, um, so that was it

just opened up a whole another bunch of

issues. But I'm still very happy to this

day that I took that chance on myself

because I that just was the beginning of

my self-love journey.

>> Yeah. Well, even hearing that, like I I

commend you for that because it's like

you saw that there could have been

another life or you imagined that there

could have been and while maybe the next

piece wasn't

>> like tremendously overload happiness, it

was better than where you were and so

you were able to make those stepping

stones a little bit. And so

>> yeah,

>> obviously when you were living with your

mom, you said like you still had

challenges and stuff. So how did you

like take us in just to your teenage

years? How did you navigate those?

>> What what were you facing during that

time? Especially cuz you know you said

like yeah maybe you had you were living

at your mom's but you were kind of on

your own or you were on your own

honestly.

>> I was. Yeah. There was a lot more

adversity I had to face. Um I'd come

home sometimes and the locks would be

changed to the doors. I had nowhere to

go and she'd be mad at me about

something and uh maybe there were too

many messages on the voicemail machine

or something like that and uh so I this

was before the days of cell phones so I

had no one to call you know um nowhere

to go so I'd have to stay with friends

guys who you know were way too old for

me who were interested in me and now I

had to beg for a place to stay so that

that was fun. Um I had to support

myself. Um, I had I worked a job while I

was in high school. Barely went to high

school. Now, thankfully, I had a

Christian school education. So, I worked

at my own pace when I was younger and

was pretty far ahead. I was almost at

like an 11th grade level at 9th grade.

So, I didn't go to school that much to

be honest with you because I was focused

on trying to survive. And um, so it was

tough. It was really rough. I became um,

I left her home at the age of 16, the

last time she locked me out. um some

neighbors felt sorry for me and I ended

up moving away with them an hour away

and that didn't work out. Um I ended up

staying with my grandparents for a short

time became suicidal and I think that

started when I was late 16 17 somewhere

around there and at that point I was

definitely suicidal and made a few

attempts ended up in the hospital in a

coma. I I almost was successful. Um but

I got through it and um and then my life

changed when I ended up meeting a guy

from the Netherlands who was on an

exchange program at the university in

Florida and um ended up getting pregnant

and so we ended up getting married. I

moved to Holland when I was 19 and that

totally changed my life. Everything

changed. I was, you know, honestly,

Lisa, I was completely numb personally

after having gone through um what I

experienced from 14 to 16, 17. It was,

it was pretty numbing for me. I had to,

I think, in order to protect myself. Um

but I was very numb and that was part of

why I became suicidal is I couldn't feel

anything, you know, and it was like,

what's the point of living? And um but

once I had my got pregnant with my son,

my hormones just changed everything and

I could feel again and that just started

a whole new avenue for my life.

>> Wow. That's a lot to unpack, Jenna.

>> Like I am like knowing where you are

today like I am so proud of you, you

know, for like just like continuous and

I know the audience will be hearing more

about that story here in a second. So

lots happened in your teenage years more

than most teenagers go through on a

daily basis, right? Yeah, but you'd be

surprised. I think a lot of people go

through this. They just don't talk about

it. It's not something that people

share. Um, in fact, it's something I

before I wrote my book, I wrote that I

really didn't share with many people.

>> Um, only like somebody I was dating or

very very close to maybe, but you know,

it's uh something that's been very

interesting to uh talk about on a more

regular basis since I've written my book

and started speaking on stages. Um, but

yeah.

>> Yeah. Well, and like to your point, like

it is more common. It's also one of

those things when you look at like the

social media filters, you see the kids

playing, you see the kids going on

extravagant trips and things like that.

You're not seeing the dayto-day of what

kids are actually going through, right?

And you went through it, you know. um

our childhoods were very different from

each other and you've you've

accomplished so much from just I would

say adversity figuring out the trauma

piece and then for being 19 um having

your son moving you moved like getting

married. So take us to being 19 when it

actually changed it. You said it was

your hormones. So then what was the

things then that then you started to put

into place to like be like all right my

suicidal thoughts all this past all

these things like I can't live this way

anymore.

>> What did you start to do to make that

shift?

>> I just didn't feel that way uh anymore.

Um for the most part I'm I'm thinking

back you know it's not like it never

came up again. Um, I think if you have

those kind of depressive tendencies,

which I didn't have only through that

time, but it did happen again maybe a

couple more times the thoughts, but I

never acted on it. And I think that's

pretty common as well. People just don't

talk about it. Um, and but um, you know,

it's it's it's something that I did have

to work through. But I started feeling

more emotional, connected. My son was

grounding me. Obviously when you have a

child to care for you know you I feel I

felt this enormous uh sense of

responsibility and so that's very

grounding and that's what I needed was

the grounding also I was living in

another country in the Netherlands which

was kind of exciting at the time you

know learning another language learning

another culture that kept me stimulated

I wasn't working um for the first year

but then I started working a little bit

there as well so so it just kind of got

me out of you know what I was going

through and I had you know a husband and

things were very different at that time

but believe you me I learned to

appreciate what we had in the US and I

learned that I had this entrepreneurial

nature in me I was appreciative of the

opportunities that we have in this

country which just did not exist over

there and I started to see the

comparison and thought wow you know when

I get back to the US I'm really going to

um just p you know I don't have an

education at this point right I've got a

GED for my highest level of education. I

did get my GED thankfully, but I barely

went to high school. So, I was like, you

know what? I'm not going to let that

stop me. When we get back, I'm going to

have a great career. And thankfully, I

did.

>> Yeah. So, take us there. So, you said

that you came back to the States. So,

how long were you in the Netherlands and

then you came back to the States and

then kind of like tell us a little bit

about that journey of going from I had a

GED, I needed to make a life, I had this

entrepreneur mindset. So, like what was

the first job or maybe like a few that

you had when you came back to the

States?

>> Yeah, I know. So, I was 22 when I got

back and the first job um that I got

when I got back was at a a factory uh

manufacturing facility for apparel. So,

we went to Los Angeles and that's where

I lived for I don't know 20 years or so.

And uh yeah, and apparel is a big deal

over there. So I went to work for a

company and uh started off as the

assistant to the president and wow was

that amazing experience because as his

right hand I got he he saw the potential

in me and by the way I pursued that job

heavily and I want to back up a second

because there is something my father

taught me as a child as a 14-year-old

when I went to go get my first job. I

was underageed I didn't know I was

underage. I wanted to work and get out

of the house, right? And so he taught

me, you know what, you can get any job

you want. You just need to look them in

the eye, feel confident, shake their

hand firmly, and um you know, just feel

confident in your ability to get the job

done. So I did that. I took that advice.

It was my first interview ever. And it I

got that job even though I was

underageed. And that man ended up

getting fired later for hiring underage

people when he shouldn't have. But

that's a whole another issue. but I got

the job and that reinforced that neural

pathway for me that hey, you know, I can

go for it and get it even if I'm not

qualified, even if I don't have the

experience. So, fast forward to 22 going

for this job. They wanted a four-year

degree

and I did not let that stop me. It was a

job I really wanted. And um and I did I

still use that same technique, you know,

maybe not to this day because I haven't

worked in corporate for since 2012, but

um but I did that same thing. I shook

his hand, looked him in the eye. I was

very persistent in trying to get this

job and he eventually gave me the

interview and I knew once I could get

that interview I'd get that job and um

and I did and you know and then he saw

the potential in me and really groomed

me to be a good right hand for him. So,

I learned all about business through

this first um uh employer. Um but I

usually worked at for um you know

medium-sized companies where I could

work closely to the CEO where I could

just learn and grow. So, yeah.

>> I love that. And I love that you you

know you have this entrepreneur spirit

like I know that about you. You also

learned that at a very young age, right?

Like I have to figure it out. Like

that's that's what I think

entrepreneurship is most about figuring

it out right like totally and you had

this bug. So then you went to work at

the factory, you know, you were working

with the uh CEO as his assistant

>> and then I've also like you've had other

pi business development roles, correct?

>> Yep. So there I got to spread my wings

and try all different areas. You know, I

managed production over there for a

while. Then I saw an opportunity

actually in sales at that company and um

with the movie industry and I said,

"Hey, there's a I feel like we can, you

know, pursue this area of business and

grow our business and get away from like

the garment industry and more into

corporate." And sure enough, um we ended

up doing custom apparel for the movie

studios, uh because I wanted to pursue

it and got our first client, which was

Sony Pictures Entertainment. And you

know, again, that's just me being

entrepreneurial saying, "Hey, you know

what? let's give it a try. Let's give it

a go. Why not? And that just that, you

know, starting my career with that kind

of a mindset really helped out a lot.

It's like, look, you don't have to know

everything, but if you get the creative

inspiration, give it a try. You know,

try it. Like, go full force. Be

confident in your ability to get the job

done. You might not know what you're

doing in the beginning, but that's okay.

your confidence is going to

uh you pull people in and they're going

to have faith in you. Confidence is

really important and I know you talk a

lot about confidence, Lisa, but

confidence has been what's driven my

career from the very beginning.

>> I love that. Well, and I can see it. I

hear it in your voice of how every step

that you've taken, you've had to be

confident in yourself because at the end

of the day, like like no one else was

going to do it for you, right? Like I

think sometimes it's very easy to be

like, "Well, I have all these degrees or

I have all these things." Like that's

great on paper, but then what are you

going to do about it? You actually did

everything with action. And I think that

that's the other piece. I've been

talking a lot about that on the podcast

because it's very easy to get caught up

in the plans and all of these things,

but it's like just go do it. Just go try

it. Just go and figure it out. And if

you fail or you fall backwards for a

second, you're going to move forward,

you know? And obviously all of that. So

we have very similar backgrounds in that

we both were in corporate and then we

took the leap. So like take us to that

moment you're like okay

I'm going to do it. I am going to go out

on my own after learning all of the

experiences that you have because from

what you're saying to me is you had a

very successful career. You didn't have

quote unquote from what I'm hearing a

reason to leave

>> because you were going to keep moving up

the ladder. So like why' you leave?

>> Yeah. So what you're talking about is um

the last stint I had in corporate. So I

was the director of business development

for a great company. I had been with

them for a long time. Um was making

really good money. I mean a nice full

six-f figureure income in my 20s. Um I

think I may have gone when I left I was

like maybe in my early 30s. But for

somebody who you know didn't have a

degree and managed people with master's

degrees you know it was it was a very

interesting place to be. that I had, you

know, I was doing well at the job um and

making them a lot of money, making

myself a lot of money. But at that time,

I um I was comfortable and I had been

comfortable for a while, but I was

stagnant and I had been feeling my

intuition had been feeling like, you

know, this is not for you anymore. But

it was stupid to think of leaving. I was

I had great retirement plan, great

benefits. Um there was no reason to

leave. But inside of me, I knew my

growth had been stagnant. I could

literally just go to work and sit there

and, you know, I had laid out a path for

for that job that I was doing that I

really didn't didn't have to do much.

So, it wasn't very challenging. And when

I get to this place where I'm not making

the right moves for myself, the universe

steps in every time and um pushes me out

the door.

>> Amen. And I I believe it 100%. You know,

I really believe in in going with the

flow of the universe. And when I don't

stick with it, when I'm in resistance

with the universe, the universe steps in

and

creates some kind of havoc that changes

the trajectory of my life. And so that's

exactly what happened. There was some

havoc that happened at work. And um I

was just pretty jarring. And it made me

rethink that job entirely. And I was

like, you know what? It's time for me to

go. And so I handed in my resignation

and it felt right. And again, that I

talk about that feeling. I write about

that in my book a lot is like trusting

that feeling that's in your body. It's

totally leading you in the right

direction. Whether it's an impulse to

call somebody, an impulse to, you know,

some kind of business idea that you

have, um, some kind of collaboration

you'd like to do. We we get those

impulses often and then we just let them

sit there and then it fizzles. But those

impulses are there to guide us. And so

um that feeling that I had when I wrote

that resignation letter told me

everything I needed to know that this it

felt great. I felt elated. I felt like

wow the possibilities, you know, I felt

I felt the possibilities again, which I

hadn't been feeling that in a while. So

I was like, okay, this is what I'm going

to do. And I handed it in. And it felt

great to hand it in. Now, I'll be honest

with you, Lisa. After I resigned and I

left that company on great terms, um

helped find my replacement and

everything. Now, I had like a month and

the first week or so was great and then

reality started to sit in. I'm like, "Oh

crap,

now what? What am I going to do?" And

it's scary, right? Even if you've been

through so many situations like I had

been through in my life where I could

take a risk on myself and believe in

myself and it always always worked out

fine. I can't tell you that you won't

feel scared. It will happen. But you

have to trust in yourself and just let

let that feeling kind of be there and

just then start to, you know, I started

to like go, okay, what what did I enjoy

doing in the past? Let's focus on that.

And then I thought, you know what? Let's

just let's create my own job. Let's do

my own thing. Let's try it. Why not? And

so I I went into my old business which

was uh promotional products, marketing

products for businesses. So B2B uh

products and I just started pursuing

that and set up a website and started

blogging, taught myself to do content

marketing, which I hadn't done at that

point. But I took some some best

practices that I had learned from my

previous employer. Um so with when it

came to online selling and just applied

it in this other space and things

started happening. Now I talk about

going with the flow. The flow was there.

I started my first client was NASDAQ you

know and again when you're doing what

the universe wants you to do and not to

get too woo woo on you but um but you

will the flow will be there. the flow

was telling me I'm going in the right

direction. Keep pursuing this. Clients

started coming. I didn't have to do much

to make that happen. And the money

started coming in. And then that just

boom skyrocketed this company which I

started in 2012. And I just let that

flow take me in that direction.

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I'm going to just going to go back to

when you made those decisions to leave,

right? Like the intuition and to listen

to it. So, I think one of the things

that came up when you were talking about

that is like you had a choice, right?

Like you can stay in the role that you

have. You're making great money. You

kind of had it where you could just show

up to work pretty easy, right? Like you

can take the easy route. Um your

intuition was telling you, "But there's

more. But there's more." And you're, you

know, when you hear those things, you're

like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. I know

that, but like what over here? Like this

is comfortable. Like this is great. But

then that voice sometimes doesn't go

away. And I like remember when I was

having those voices. And I remember

thinking in my head like but I don't

have the answers. I just wanted the

answers, right? Like that is the control

freak perfectionist in me that at that

moment really wanted that. That was back

like six years ago. And then you also

had the choice of, you know what, I'm

going to take everything that's coming

my way and I'm going to not know what

the future's going to hold, but I'm

going to trust. And that's what you did,

right? You took that moment, you

trusted. Scary. So when you were talking

about yours, all I could think about was

two months after I left my corporate

job, I'll never forget balling my eyes

out to someone. What did I do? Right?

Because two months ago I was like calm

and like this is exactly what I should

be doing.

>> Totally.

>> Like and to have those emotions it is

like

>> wild because you're like I know I did

the right thing. Why do I feel this way?

It's like kind of like a oh crap moment

in a way.

>> Totally. Totally. Yes.

>> And and so that

>> that's exactly what I experienced.

Exactly the same thing. Yeah. And it's

like then you have to slow down. And

that I think is the hardest part because

when you slow down to figure out like

well what am I going to do? The money's

not coming in,

>> right? Like I remember that moment I had

to get a part-time job to pay my bills

so that I could like and then I use the

other time to slow down and figure it

out. But I think there's so much power

in that. And I I remember even hearing

people are like freaking out about

what's to come. And it's like I get it.

You have to put food on the table. you

have to pay your bills, you want to put

away retirement. Like, I get it. Like, I

am full-blown into that. At the time, it

was just me, right? Like, you had a son.

Like, I I just had me and my dog, right?

But I knew that I also didn't want to

work until I was 99, you know? Like, I

wanted that retirement. And so, you you

get all these thoughts in your head. You

what are people going to think? Am I

doing this? I had this great job. And

so, it's it's all of these thoughts come

into play, but like you went back to

grounded on like, well, what am I good

at?

>> Right? And I teach a lot about zone of

genius and like what are you good at?

How are you going to focus on that and

and move forward? And I read also that

when you left your job, you had $400

in your

>> Well, I I no that that's you know what I

hope I didn't write it that way or

>> maybe that's what I read wrong. Yes.

>> So I I I didn't want to spend the money

because I didn't have the income coming

in. So I invested only $400.

>> I see. Okay. Okay. So, you invested $400

into yourself when you got started.

>> Yeah, of course. Yeah, I had been making

good money and I had some savings which

was allowed me to to take that risk,

right? Um not a ton, but um but because

it's expensive to live in LA and I had a

kid, you know, like it's I did not have

a lot of money, but so I could only

really invest that 400 bucks. I said,

"You know what? I'm going to use that

money to had to register something for

my business, uh, pay for a hosting plan

for my website." Um, but I wasn't

spending I wasn't going to spend any

money. And, you know, again, I was going

to test it out and see like, is this is

this something? Could I make some money

from this? But when the proof of concept

started coming in, I'm like, great. So

from then I could then reinvest some of

the money I made from the business, but

I only took out $400 to invest into that

company.

>> Yeah. Investing in that. So really

though, like you started with $400

investing in your business, right? And

you built this amazing company and I

know that that's not what you do

anymore.

>> No, no, no. I sold that company for half

a million dollars.

>> Oh my god. Congratulations. Okay. So

yeah, like take us there. So obviously

you took another step, right? Like so

did the steps get easier as you took

more fear like fearless steps or was it

like every time it was like an oh crap

moment?

>> There were a lot of oh crap moments

because you have to uh if you're going

to level up and just go to other levels,

you have to take those oh crap moments.

It's going to happen. Um, you know, I

had this mindset, don't spend too much m

too much money, reinvest, but I also had

to take care of myself with the income I

produced from the company. But at some

point, I know you talked about

perfectionism. That was definitely

something that I used to struggle with.

And I say used to because I learned to

adopt an 80% is good enough mindset,

which was a total game changer for me. I

was a perfectionist to the core, which I

came to find out is a limiting belief

and a fear-based belief, which is um if

I'm not perfect, my work isn't

acceptable. You know, it's this

fear-based belief that you have to do

everything just right or people won't

value you. Your work won't be good

enough. It's really a fear-based belief.

And so that belief system caused me to

not let go and um delegate, you know,

hire people um where I could delegate. I

tried to hire people, but then I would

micromanage them and expect

perfectionism out of them just like I

expected it out of myself, which is not

realistic and you cannot grow and scale

that way. So um I had a aha moment when

I was watching an episode of Shark Tank.

Barbara Corkran, she says to this

entrepreneur, you know what? You have a

great product, love your business, but

I'm not going to invest because you have

to be perfect and that is going to

prevent you from scaling. She's like, I

can tell you aren't able to delegate and

therefore you won't be able to scale and

I can't invest in you. She says, I used

to be that way and I adopted this 80% is

good enough mindset and it was a game

changer for me. And I like I had a huge

aha moment at that point. And I

literally just decided to change what I

was doing, lay off a people, you know,

not go back and say, "Hey, you made a

typo in that thing. Who cares?" Like I

forgave people when they sent me those

emails with typos. Um, and by the way, I

will say to to to this day, like

sometimes, you know, I have an email

series that I write called Love Notes to

myself, and it's a weekly email series,

self- loveve reminders. And you know

what? Occasionally I'll make a mistake

and I've had somebody point out once

like, "Hey, here's a typo in your free

email that you send out to people that

you take your time and energy to do."

You know, she had to point out. It

wasn't like, "Thank you for this,

beautiful." It was like, "Did you know

you had a typo?" And I thought to myself

instantly,

>> "Oh, I'm sorry for you because if you

can't forgive me for that mistake, you

can't forgive yourself." Mhm.

>> You know, and that was

>> I can resonate so much with all of that.

I literally like laughing because I can

catch myself and I'll send something off

like my edits back to someone and then

I'll be like, did I need to say all of

that? Did it really matter? Right? Like

it's because we get this like this is

the way that I want to do it, but really

does it have to be that way? So I have

to I have to actually coach myself

>> a lot of times when that perfectionism

kind of like creeps in. Especially

because you make a great point, Jenna.

Like a lot of entrepreneurs, we start

out we we want this like and I honestly

I'm not even going to say entrepreneurs

like people in careers like I saw this

in corporate. I see this in small

businesses all the time like that we

have this like we start a business

because we have an idea. We want to make

an impact. We have all of these things

that we want to do. Sometimes it's to

sell it,

>> right? All of these types of things. But

what prevents people from scaling versus

not scaling is the fact of like

believing in themselves and

perfectionism and letting go. And I

think it's just even if you're a leader,

even if you're starting out, that is

like a great point to make that those

can make or break you because some

people aren't entrepreneurs listening to

this podcast, right? But it's about like

having that confidence inside of

yourself to know like, hey, I want to

move up to the next level. I want to do

these things. What are the steps that

I'm gonna have to take in order to do

that? Right.

>> Yes. Yeah. Exactly. And that was what I

needed to be able to scale my business

because I knew I didn't want to be

working these 12-hour days and killing

myself being a perfectionist and

handling everything. I'm like, something

has to give. I can't take a vacation. I

cannot walk away from my business for an

hour. Like, it it's totally dependent on

me. So, I'm like, I can't. This is not

sustainable. And so that forced

thankfully I'd seen that episode of

Shark Tank in the nick of time and it

allowed me to to make the business

sustainable for me because I could not

continue on that path. I would burn out

if I stuck with it like that. So I ended

up h uh hiring people um actually in the

Philippines and um yeah and so was able

to cut my costs way down and afford more

people um which hadn't really been done

in my business. maybe one or two

companies had done it, but it allowed me

to scale with the profit margins that we

work with in that industry and um be

able to reduce my time spent to like an

hour to two hours a day.

>> Wow.

>> So, I moved across the country, started

investing into property in Atlanta,

which was much more cost-effective than

California, started some Airbnb

businesses. I was had two businesses

going at the same time and yet both were

very easy to manage. So got myself a

little bored again because it was too

easy and comfortable and um you know it

was just kind of a magical moment when I

decided to sell the company because I

got this um you know again the universe

sometimes the universe pushes you out.

Sometime the universe inspires you and

you have to be willing to seize those

opportunities and and go with that

inspiration. I got a little postcard in

the mail that said, "Learn how to sell

your business." And I hadn't really

thought of it at that point because I

really didn't think I'd be able to get

much for it. Um, based on what I knew of

the industry and the financials, all

that stuff. So, I went to the free

course that was put on by a business

broker. It was a class maybe like three

three hours or something. And in that

three hours, I learned some things I had

never kn known before. So, it challenged

some of my limiting beliefs about

selling my company, inspired me, and I

thought, well, shoot, I realized that

someone could actually find a lot of

value in the this business. Maybe not

just by buying and taking it over, but

maybe they have a lateral business where

um so mine was marketing products for

businesses. This could make really good

sense for a company that um sells paper

products like printed

um brochures and cataloges and things

like that to companies. it's the same

buyer who buys both types of products.

They could cross-ell to each other's

customer base and be a win-win for both

companies. And I thought, wow, I'd never

really thought of it like that before.

So, I found a business broker um and uh

who worked only on commission, so I

didn't I wasn't out of pocket if uh she

didn't sell the company.

>> She did a business valuation on my

business. it came in at like 320,000 for

based on the SBA

>> financial models. Um, and I thought,

nope, it's not worth it to me to sell it

for that because it's kind of on

autopilot. I'm making good income from

it. That doesn't make sense. But if I

could get a half a million dollars, I

could pursue some other things. I would

like to challenge myself again and go in

a whole new direction in my career. I

had a book idea in mind. thought I

wanted to get into public speaking.

Maybe um actually I hadn't thought of

public speaking at that time or maybe I

had I don't remember but anyways um I

was inspired to do it but I thought a

half a million dollars I could invest in

myself in all new ways and challenge

myself again. You know what I had a deal

in 30 days. Wow.

>> And that was again me knowing okay this

is what I'm supposed to be doing. The

universe inspired me. I followed that

inspiration. I got what I wanted. I

asked for what I wanted, which I think

is key. This is a huge motto of mine.

You get 100%

of what you don't ask for.

>> If you want it, you have to ask for it.

And you would be surprised. I find

around 80% of the time I get it.

>> That's amazing. Good memory, right? Like

good good technique.

>> It's a great technique and I apply it in

everyday situations. Um, just today we

had um, you know, we have something

being installed, a wall bed, a Murphy

bed in one of in our guest room. They

asked to reschedu and they wanted to

come at 9:00 on a Saturday and it was

like, I'd rather you come at at 10:00.

Can you come at 10:00? You know, but a

lot of us just, you know, are afraid to

ask for those little things. But if you

get in the habit of saying, you know

what, can you come at 10 instead? Oh,

yeah, sure. You get a yes. You would be

surprised if you practice that muscle on

the little things. When it comes to the

bigger things, you don't hesitate as

much. And you would be surprised. It

might be $1,000 off that $10,000 thing

that seems super expensive, but if you

could get it for nine, you'd be happier.

Ask,

>> you know, the job like, you know what?

This is great, but it'd be great if I

could get three weeks vacation instead

of two weeks vacation. when you're in

negotiation on the job, ask.

>> You get 100% of what you don't ask for.

So, I asked for it. I got it. And bam, I

was like, "Okay, universe. Now, I owe

you a book and um challenging myself

even more." And so, that's led me to

where I am today. I'm best-selling

author of a book that is changing

people's lives every single day. I get

countless comments on social media and

messages through email. And it's just

amazing to think that, you know,

following those intuitions and my

inspiration and letting the universe

co-create along with me and asking for

what I want and all these things I had

to learn the hard way in life has led me

to where I am today. And you know, I'm

51. I feel like I have so much more

potential in me and I can't even

imagine, you know, what's in store for

me in the future.

>> I love that. And I will say like I will

scroll Tik Tok and I'll be like a book

review on Jenna's book. Like it's so

cool to see like a friend like just be

like killing it in the book industry,

right? And so give us kind of like the

cliff notes of your book if you wouldn't

mind. Like just kind of like give us

like

>> that piece so that the audience can

check it out and we'll put it also in

the show notes as well.

>> Oh, thank you. Okay. Well, it's called I

love me more. How to find happiness and

success through self-love, which I feel

like has been the journey of my life.

One part of it, but one key part of it.

You know, choosing to put myself first

and prioritize my needs goes against

social norms, goes against what society

tells us women to do, us mothers to do.

You don't put yourself first. You put

everyone else first. That's what you're

supposed to do. But I had to challenge

those from those beliefs from a very

early age. And it wasn't easy. And I did

concern, you know, when I was younger,

especially in my 20s as a young single

mom. I certainly did occasionally worry

like what would my neighbor think? What

would, you know, the other parents

think, you know, but to constantly

choose myself and put myself first and

set that aside, acknowledge it and but

yet not let it guide my behavior has

absolutely paid off in spades. And so

when I got to um this point where I had

been dating somebody I was really in

love with. We'd only been together for

like five months. But um but I realized

this man was not capable of giving me

what I needed in a relationship. I

communicated it. I was very clear and he

wasn't capable. So I had to break it off

and it really hurt a lot. I was quite

heartbroken. go to dinner with a friend

of mine and she's like, "Why did why why

would you break up with this guy? You

know, I know you still love him." And

I'm like, "Well, because I love me

more."

And she's just giving me this blank

stare like, "What do you mean, Jenna?"

And so I spent that whole evening at

dinner breaking down for her what that

means to me to love me more, to

prioritize my needs, prioritize myself,

to value myself, and not rely on someone

else for that. but that I require a

certain type of treatment and if I'm not

going to get it, then I have to treat

myself better and not allow myself to be

in that situation. She still didn't get

it, which was I thought I got through to

her, but a few weeks later she called me

and she's like, "Oh my god, Jenna, I got

it. I got it. I love me more." She had

been thinking about it. She really

wanted to understand

>> and it hit her because she was dating

someone who wasn't treating her with

enough value and and she was always, you

know, trying to wonder where where do we

stand? Where does this guy like me?

Where are we at? Um, you know, he'd send

her these cryptic text messages. She was

always trying to figure out. She was

always agonizing over the relationship.

is she realized, huh, I am not valuing

myself by putting up with this. It

clicked for her and she's like, Jenna,

thank you. You know, I've been telling

my friends about this and uh and we

calling it I love me more and I was

like, wow.

>> And it came true. That's amazing.

>> You know, it's huge because it changed

her life, you know, and her friends

lives, too. And I thought, wow, this is

powerful. She's like, "Jenna, it would

really be helpful if you could break

down how you got there. How did you get

to this point where you could make

yourself your highest priority?" And I

really had to think about it. And um so

I uh I started writing and then I

thought, "Oh, you know what? I was just

journaling. I was journaling it for her.

>> I really wanted to break it down for her

and I thought, you know what?

>> I think I can share this with more

people and and help more people, you

know."

>> Awesome. And so thus the book came to

life and then

>> Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. So it's been an

amazing journey. Um I have more books in

me. I'm excited to you know I it's been

I also get to bring it on to stages.

I've brought it to uh I think my biggest

stage was the virtual uh event I did

with Bank of America with their uh women

in tech and ops team. 1500 people from

around the world.

>> Yes. Thank you. Thank you. And that was

amazing. So, I'm just trying to get that

message out there as many ways as I can,

but speaking is uh is another way

besides the book as well.

>> Yeah. So, kind of like end today's

podcast, what is one piece of advice or

thing that you want to leave the

audience with?

>> H you know what? There's so many, but if

I were to to hone in on one, it's that

that feeling inside of you pushing you

in the direction that might ch like go

against what's comfortable for you, it

might feel scary to think about. Um if

you if you have that feeling like huh

I'd like to start my company but then

you start to feel scared or some kind of

angst like we've got to like not let

those things stop us because um you know

that is an indication that we're going

against a a pattern and we should

challenge you know ourselves and not

like let let those feelings you know

dictate um for example the negative

feelings fear and guilt. We shouldn't

let those things dictate

staying in our comfort zone, you know,

because if we could push ourselves

outside of our comfort zone, we jump

into the unknown. And I know you've

experienced this as well, Lisa. Jumping

into the unknown is scary.

>> Yeah.

>> But it ch it creates change. And life is

so much more invigorating.

Um, when you can jump in the unknown and

change some of those comfortable

patterns, you will find that you are

able to face adversity and trust

yourself and come through the other side

much more resilient and energized and uh

passionate. And to me, that's what life

is worth. Is life is worth exploring and

living life to your fullest potential.

And uh I'd rather do that than stay in

my comfort zone any day. Amen. I love

all of that. Thank you, Jenna, so much

for just like a powerful story, for

sharing how you've overcome so many so

many things in life, but to get to where

you are today. I'm so proud of you. I

loved hearing your story, and thank you

so much for being on the podcast today.

>> Thank you. Thank you so much for having

me on. I appreciate you, Lisa.

Thank you so much for tuning into

today's podcast. I had such a great time

learning from Jenna, hearing her story,

and really just being honored to be

sitting in the same spot as her, hearing

how she has overcome so much adversity

to get to where she is today. If you

enjoyed today's podcast, please

subscribe to our YouTube channel, follow

us on all podcast platforms, and of

course, uh, leave us a review. We'd love

to hear how you are utilizing the

podcast in your life. Um, you can also

DM me at Lisa Tarkington official. Um,

we have many tools that can help you on

your journey to self-love, to

confidence, to well-being, and that's

our lead within platform along with

coaching with me. We are here to support

you in any way. And in the show notes,

we also put information more about

Jenna's book, I love Me more. So, as I

always say at every podcast, continue to

spread love and kindness to everybody

that you meet and have a great day.

Thank you for joining me on this episode

of the Confident podcast. If today's

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Drop me a message and let's explore how

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day. Keep showing up, keep striving, and

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