Why Gray Rocking Doesn't Work #grayrock #narcissisticabuse #marriagehelp #marriagecounseling

There is a strategy called gray rocking.

You're all familiar with it. Where you

respond to an abusive person with little

emotional energy, with as little as

possible, gray rocking. And hence, you

become like a gray rock. You don't

react. You don't respond.

And it is a tool that you need to have

in your arsenal to be sure. But this

video is about when gray rocking doesn't

work and why it doesn't work. Number

one, the person escalates to get a

reaction. So your lack lack of

reactivity actually feels to them like a

provocation. If the abuser thrives on

control and conflict, your flat

responses can feel like a threat to that

control. Number two, you may be in a

relationship with this person where you

co-parent, you work with them, you live

with them, you're [clears throat] you're

doing life with them, and so you still

have to interact regularly.

Oh my, how do you interact regularly,

but then grey rock, but then interact,

but then grey rock, but then interact.

So gray rocking doesn't work really well

when you still have to have a a life

with this person. So number three, they

may be satisfied with that lack of

availability, that lack of intimacy.

That may be just fine with them. You

need to understand that gray rocking is

a shortterm boundary tool. It's

short-term.