Why I Left Islam | My Testimony

So, why did I leave Islam? What prompted

me to actually leave this religion of

peace? Well, you know what? Let's just

get into it. Just to give y'all a little

bit of reference, I was actually born

into Islam. My family is Egyptian, but I

left Islam in my 20s. I am now 41 for

reference, and I am now in the way. See,

I'm even wearing a shirt with our

father's name and his son's name.

Hallelujah. So, one of the reasons why I

left Islam was the unfair treatment of

men versus women.

Islam is a religion. I always say it's

made by men for men and it benefits men.

Um, I will never personally understand a

woman who converts to Islam because she

loses a lot of her rights in that system

because the way the Quran and just the

culture in general in that culture is

structured is it's for men. It is not

for the woman at all. So for example,

men can be polygamous and have up to

four wives. And men can actually marry

um what's called people of the book. So

people of the book are considered

Christians and considered Jew Jewish

people. But um that's the men. But the

women do not have those same rights. The

woman cannot be polygamous. And the

woman cannot marry the Christian and the

Jewish woman. So she is only her she's

only subjected to Muslim men and then a

lot of the times these Muslim men are

are looking to marry outside but if

they're looking to marry outside and the

woman cannot marry outside like she's

very limited in her options for mates.

So that was something that I remember

bringing up that was something I

remember arguing about a lot when I was

Muslim because I did not think it was

fair at all or it was right at all. If

these guys can do whatever they want to

do and the women are subjected to, you

know, are very limited to what they can

do.

And not only that, just like the Muslim

family in general, men also have a lot

more rights and a lot more freedom in

the family in general. So they can, you

know, go out late, they can normally go

to school, they can work, they can like

do all this stuff, they can have

girlfriends, they can date, they can do

all that. But the Muslim woman cannot do

that because according to you know

Muslims and you know Middle Easterns and

people who are in the system the honor

is in the woman. So the woman has a lot

of pressure to be good to you know stay

a virgin until marriage and I'm again

I'm I'm not saying to sleep around but

it's a lot of pressure on her to act a

certain way for the family. But the men

are not subjected to that same

treatment. They can do whatever that

they want to do. And their excuse is,

well, they're men and men do what they

want to do and if they sleep around,

it's okay. But for the woman, ooh, the

woman will get severely punished.

Sometimes she even gets unalived or

she'll be sent back to her country and

get arranged marriage by a cousin cuz

that's what happened to me twice. And I

want to say that I praise the father

that even though I was shipped back to

Egypt two times for different reasons.

Um I never, you know, I was never

married to a cousin or anything like

that. So I I praise him for that. Um but

it's it's really terrible how it is.

It's a system of control and the men

benefit in this system while the women

just lose in this system. Um so another

reason why I left Islam was the whole

modesty thing. I definitely 100% believe

in modesty for both men and women. I

definitely believe in self-control for

both men and women. But the way the

woman is subjected in Islam is she has

to wear the hijab. So she has to be

completely covered. Um wrist covered,

feet covered, everything covered. And

sometimes like you know depending on

which um branch of Islam you grow up in.

I know it's kind of confusing. I grew up

a Sunni Muslim. So Sunnis are the

majority of the Muslim population and

Sunnis believe in the prophet Muhammad

being like the last prophet. Whereas

there's these other um denominations of

Islam believing in like different

prophets or different belief systems and

I'm not about to get into that in this

video cuz there's like 78 of them from

what I remember. Um so I grew up a sunny

Muslim so the burka was not a

requirement where it covers like the

face but I know in um other forms of

Islam there's salafi there's wahhabi I

think that's mostly like Saudi Arabia

they do the whole burka so

I didn't think it was fair the way the

woman had to be completely covered like

that whereas the men can again do what

they want to do they can go to the beach

and they can be shirtless and wear

shorts and you're you see these women

just completely covered and I'm just

Like where's the fairness and the

equality in that? And don't you think

that as women get tempted too? I'm

sorry. Like women do get tempted. I'm

not going to lie and say it's only men.

Men, y'all need to watch yourselves too

and be careful with the way y'all are

dressing cuz some of y'all y'all know

what y'all are doing when y'all are

getting dressed. I'm just going to be

completely honest with y'all. It just it

goes both ways. Both parties need to be

modest and both parties also need to

have some control and watch their eye

gate. Another reason why I left is fear.

So the way Islam is is it's a religion

based on fear. And they will scare you

into staying into this system because if

people leave the system then that

challenges the system. So I remember

when I was younger like one of the

verses of the Quran was Jenna heaven

being under the feet of the mother. So

like it didn't matter how your mother

treated you like you needed to you

needed to please her in order to have

paradise. Another verse that was you

another thing that was used was like the

description of hellfire in Islam is

actually very very scary. Um

I remember being terrified of like how

they described hell in Islam. So they

described him as these big huge like

black angels that were like feet like

many many feet long and super strong and

you know it was just like sometimes

you'd be in the complete um heat other

times you'd be in the complete like you

know cold it was very scary the way the

hell fire jennam was described in Islam

it was just a very scary thing and they

would use that a lot to make people stay

in Islam and it was really

Um, so fear, fear is something that does

make people stay. And there are times

when, you know, especially for the

female, if she wants to leave Islam, her

life could literally be online. And I

mean, I did take a risk when I left.

I'll be honest, I took a risk. But at

that point, I did not care cuz at that

point, I already felt like I already

felt like trash anyway. And I was like,

I really didn't care what happened to

me. And you know, praise y'all that, you

know, they didn't do anything even

though they wanted to. They definitely

wanted to, but they didn't. So, praise

y'all. And here I am, you know, having a

platform and I can now speak out about

my experiences in Islam. So, there we

go. Another thing about Islam is some

Muslims are required to pray five times

a day. And it's great. Prayer is

awesome. Like, I pray to the father

actually more than once a day. There's

times where I pray to him multiple times

a day because he's just so amazing and I

need him. But the way Islam is

structured is like you have to say

certain things in these prayers. You

cannot just pray from the heart. It's

like a mechanical prayer where you're,

you know, you do this, you say the

fatiha, which is like the opening of the

Quran. Um, you have to read the opening,

which I don't even remember what the

heck that meant. I I'll put the, um,

translation up there for y'all. You keep

going and then you read a surah from the

Quran. And so I remember I memorized at

the time like four or five different

suras. Like I really didn't care about

memorizing the Quran. I just would

memorize the shortest ones. I'd pray and

I just like keep it moving. But the

prayer is never from your heart. The

prayer was you had to memorize these

Quranic verses. You have to pray a

certain way. I always wanted to pray

from the heart. Like I just wanted to

sit down and be able to talk to God, to

talk to Elohim. And we could not do

that. I mean the way it was is yeah you

had to do it memorize Quran verses do

that five times a day and keep it moving

and I felt nothing when I prayed and I'm

pretty sure most Muslims when they pray

they feel nothing they just do it just

because they are conditioned to do it

and then another thing is I had a lot of

health issues since childhood

and I've been looking for ways to heal

and the Quran doesn't really give you

much hope of healing. I mean, yeah, it

will tell you about black seed, which

black seed is really good. It will tell

you about honey. Honey is really good.

It tells you about another thing called

hijama. Hijama is like cupping, but like

you poke holes in the area and then

blood comes out and I I don't know. I

mean, it's kind of weird to me. Um, I

remember when I was Muslim at one point,

I was looking for somebody to do that

because I really wanted to heal and I

could not find anybody to do that. I

praise Yah for that. Um because I know

in the Bible the blood is very very very

sanctified in the Bible. So I mean I

just knew even when I was Muslim like

there was really not much hope of me

healing

and even when I did try the black seed

and the honey I remember at one point I

tried Zum water. Zum water is holy

water. So Catholics have holy water.

Muslims have something similar called

zum water. And you get that normally

from Saudi Arabia or they get the Zum

Zum water shipped from Saudi Arabia. And

if you go to like a Muslim store or

Middle Eastern store, you can find Zum

water. And I remember I would buy Zum

water and I would drink it because I

wanted to heal so badly, y'all. But you

know what that did? That's a form of

idolatry.

Yes, Muslims, that's idolatry right

there. Cuz you're not putting your hope

in the Most High. You're putting your

hope in this water to heal you. And even

I question Zum Zum water now if that's

actually authentic water like I don't

think it is you know but that's another

story for another day. So yeah I mean

there was no hope for healing for me

when I was Muslim and even when I did

try those healing modalities I did not

get better at all. So that's that.

Another reason why and this is probably

going to make a lot of people mad but

I'm just going to be honest with y'all

is the Muslim community is really

judgmental. Of course I was someone who

never fit in. I mean, I got the name

Aliyia. So, I mean, I got the name, but

that's about it.

I did not fit in at all. And and with

their judgments and stuff, I never

understood it. And it's just like so

fake and it's so superficial and it's so

artificial. And I mean, they judge you

based on your looks. They judge you

based on your profession. They judge you

based on like your degree. They judge

you based on your money, your husband,

your kids, everything. And I

I don't like that. There was a lot of

things to judge me on cuz I mean I

according to him didn't have the look. I

didn't have like you know the husband. I

didn't have this. I didn't have that. I

mean I didn't have a lot of things in

the Muslim that Muslims consider like

you know status cuz that's what they do.

They consider your career status, your

job status, your money status, your kids

status, your husband status, all this

stuff status. And as someone who really

didn't have any of that like imagine. I

mean, it just like brought my value down

when I was in those communities. So, and

I just got to the point, I'll be honest,

towards the end that I just did not

care. I did not care. Another thing I

want to talk about, this just came to my

head was my Hajj experience. So, Muslims

are required to perform Hajj, which is

pilgrimage once in their lifetime. It's

in Saudi Arabia and it's that um it's

the Cabba. It's the um the black stone.

And anyways, there's a whole ritual

behind that. It's a pagan thing and I

can get into that another day. But I

actually performed Hajj. I went to Saudi

Arabia with my dad when I was in my

early 20s and I performed the Hajj. And

um there was certain rituals that we had

to do while performing the Hajj. We had

to go around the Blackstone like seven

times. Um what else do we have? There

was a lot of things that we had to do. I

remember at one point we had to throw

stones at a wall because Muslims believe

that that was Shayan, that was Satan. So

throwing the stones at like the wall,

which is now that I think about it, it's

like really stupid. Um, there was a

point where we had to go to Arafat and

we had to like camp the way the prophets

like camped in the desert for a couple

days. That was really miserable. There

was so there was certain things like we

had to do. We had we went to um another

city called Medina in Saudi Arabia. So

most of the stuff that I described is in

Mecca, Saudi Arabia, like the the

Blackstone and all of this. Then we went

to Medina in Saudi Arabia. And Medina, I

have to admit, is a nice city. Like I'll

be honest, I actually really enjoyed

that city a lot. I would not go again

though. Heck no. But I did enjoy it. And

the prophets, Prophet Muhammad, you

know, their prophet, his grave is over

there. So, you know, a lot of people, of

course, idolatry, I'm telling you,

idolatry, they would go to the grave and

they would like kiss the grave and you

know, I think his companion um a

companion is kind of like an apostle I

guess like Abu Bakr like his I think his

grave was there too. I'm telling y'all,

the idolatry and the paganism that took

place now that I look back on it, it's

crazy. So I remember I went there and I

saw the gasket of him and I think his

companion Obaker and I remember we

prayed in the big mosque that I guess

they built and the mosque actually looks

really nice. I have to give them that.

The mosque looks really nice but again

paganism and idolatry. The hajj was over

and then thankfully we went back home.

But um the way the hatch is for the men

they have to wear like a white garment

and they have to shave their head. And

for the women we have we have to wear

like you know full hijab like full

hijab. So Saudi Arabia was not a good

place. Even though I was fully in hijab

I was wearing a very baggy like dress.

It's called a naa. Like I was still like

harassed even with my dad over there. It

was really really scary and I would not

want to go out alone when I was over

there. And my Hajj experience was trash.

I'll be completely honest with y'all. I

can make another video if y'all are

interested in that. Um, I'm trying to

remember it little by little cuz Islam

traumatized me so much that I forgot so

many things. But like I said, if y'all

are interested in a video on my Hajj

experience. I do not have pictures

unfortunately.

Um, just let me know. And like I said,

I'll pray to the father to see if I can

remember cuz I'm remembering things

little by little, but I don't remember

everything unfortunately. is Islam is

based on doing good deeds. So the way

like Christianity and you know note a

followers of the way is positioned. Yes,

we got to do good deeds. We got to

follow the Torah but we also have grace

in our Messiah Yahusha Hamashiach or

Jesus Christ. Well, Muslims don't have

that. Muslims don't believe in a Messiah

and Muslims don't believe that you know

our father Yahweh has a son. And so

Muslims are subjected to doing deeds,

good deeds. And the problem with that is

how do you know if you're doing more

good than if you're doing bad? Because

there's times where I'm I'll be honest,

I'm sinning and I don't even realize

that I'm sinning. And I'm just really

grateful that I have that grace and I

can come to the father um and ask for

forgiveness in in the name of his son.

But Islam doesn't have that. Islam does

not have that. It's you have to do good

deeds. But it's like, okay, I mean doing

good deeds is great. We should all do

better, but how do you know if you're on

the right path? How do you know if you

have more good deeds than bad deeds? You

don't know. And so, there's a fear

element to that because it's unknown

until you die and it's the day of

judgment. And then day of judgment, you

realize you were in falsehood the entire

time, which is really scary. But that's

how Islam is. So, you don't know. You

don't know where you stand. Islam, as I

mentioned, is a very controlling

religion. And a lot of people stay in

Islam out of fear, I believe, because

there was a picture that I saw one time

of people praying in the masid, in the

mosque. And I remember the picture said,

if I can find it, I'll post it. But like

one out of every four are secretly not

Muslim. So one out of every four people

secretly are not Muslim. And there's a

lot of people who leave Islam, but they

have to keep it like undercover. So they

have to pretend they're Muslim, but

they're really not Muslim. And my heart

goes out to people like that because I

can imagine how hard that is. That was

that must be really really hard because

I I remember I kind of went through a

period like that for a little bit in my

early 20s where I was questioning it and

I I left but then I didn't really tell

anybody that I left until later on. So I

can imagine how hard that is and my

heart goes out to anybody who is in that

position. So I remember when I was a

Muslim like I never had peace at all. I

never felt peace. I never felt content.

I always felt very scared. I always felt

very controlled. I always felt very

angry. And that's why you see a lot of

these Muslims walking around kind of

angry. I mean, do you blame them for how

controlling their religion is and how

hard it is to follow?

Oh my goodness. Like I have a lot more

compassion when I see Muslims because

it's not an easy religion at all to

follow. It's a very difficult religion.

And so I just had no hope when I was

Muslim. And I was depressed being a

Muslim. I was extremely depressed,

extremely controlled. Um, I was also

raised by narcissistic Muslims. But I

remember just being in this religion,

being in this family system, just

getting sicker and sicker and sicker and

losing my soul little by little by

little. And I'll be honest, I mean, it

was hard to leave Islam. It was very

scary. But I'm really glad that I did

leave because if I did not leave, I

would not be where I am today. But, I

mean, it was a journey. It was hard for

It was hard. It was not easy at all. I

lost a lot leaving Islam, but it was

worth it and I would do it again. And

finally, what why else did I leave

Islam? Well, there's again, this video

could be hours and hours long, but I'm

going to end with this. The last reason

why I left Islam is my marriage

situation right now. So, I am

technically legally married to like a

Muslim guy that I have been trying to

divorce for a very, very long time. And

the law makes it very difficult for me

to get divorced because because I got

married in a Muslim country back in

2017. And I've been, you know, trying to

beg and bribe him to like divorce me.

And the man refuses to divorce me just

for control. I mean, that's how it is.

Muslims, they love control.

And the way the laws work in most of

these Muslim countries, if you do get

married, is the law is for the man. I'm

telling you, Islam is a religion made by

men for the men under the Islamic

doctrine. I'm actually qualified to get

a divorce. I am. I have all the

qualifications to get a divorce as a

woman. But they make it very difficult

as a woman to get divorced. And that

frustrates me because at this point I'm

being held hostage in a situation that I

don't want to be in. Like I don't talk

to my ex. I haven't seen him in years.

I'm pretty I'm sure he's remarried which

whatever. I don't care at this point.

But see, Islam gives him that right to

do that. Whereas with me, it doesn't

matter. And you know that's something

that I am praying to the father about to

get out of this situation. Um and I

wanted to also say this. How do people

treat me um when I tell people I'm not

Muslim cuz I do have a Muslim name and

you know I guess from the outside I look

Muslim or whatever. And a lot of times

it depends. So if it's another Muslim

they avoid me like the plague which is

absolutely fine. I really don't care.

Like when they hear that I'm ex-Muslim

they don't even want to talk to me. They

don't want to associate with me and they

tend to stay away from me. that's been

like that for many many years. So I I'm

kind of used to it at this point. But

from other religious systems, they're

curious. They tend to be very curious as

to why I left Islam and you know want to

ask me questions. So it's actually very

interesting that you know the behavior

of the Muslims versus the you know

behavior of other belief systems systems

or sometimes they maybe they don't know

much about Islam so they don't question

it which curiosity really is such an

amazing thing to have that I feel like

as a society so many people have lost

but yeah I mean curiosity is a good

thing. So anyways that's it y'all. Those

are the reasons why I left Islam. And I

hope that this video was educational and

I hope that it helps y'all. And I'm

hoping it does reach some Muslims, you

know, that who are questioning leaving

Islam or, you know, they're not sure cuz

y'all could talk to me. I I completely

get it, man. There's a lot of barriers

to leaving. It's scary to leave and

there's a lot that you have to think

about. It's not like Christianity. If

someone leaves Christianity, most of the

time their lives are not in danger. But

in Islam, it's the exact opposite. A lot

of times your life is in danger when you

leave. So if that's something y'all are

going through or if you're not if even

if it's not Islam and you're in another

religion, um feel free to reach out to

me and I can help youall with that. And

if my channel and content has been a

blessing to you, I did create a buy me a

coffee. So I'll put the QR code up here

and I'll put the link to my buy me a

coffee down there. Absolutely no

pressure at all, y'all. Just you being

here and viewing my channel and

supporting me means the world to me. All

right, y'all. I love y'all. Shalom.