They lied to us about Weed

For the first time ever, there's more

Americans using weed daily than drinking

alcohol daily. And as someone who spent

nearly a decade of their life doing

this, getting geeked up on a daily

basis, it took me a really long time to

see weed for what it actually is. It's

not this devil's lettuce, you know, you

use it once, you're not going to be

cooked. But this idea that it's this

harmless drug, I found out the hard way

couldn't be more of a lie. I fell for it

all. Like I was a [ __ ] I'm not going

to lie to you guys. I started using it

around 15 at the time. I think I just

wanted to be cool. Like I was an

insecure little dude. I'm not going to

lie. I was the shortest kid in my

freshman class. Calling me a late

bloomer would be an understatement. I

didn't hit puberty and start growing

until like junior year. So by senior

year, I mogged. But up until then, kids

were making fun of me calling me

lesbian. And I was insecure about it.

And I constantly had this voice in my

head telling me that I was like Ellen

Degenerous and I was just like a loser.

And I realized quickly weed shut that

voice up and made me forget about it,

not care about it at all. So that's how

I got into it at first. And on top of

that, I was getting these crazy

headaches at this time, migraines that

would make me so sick I would be

throwing up. And the only thing that

helped me was smoking. None of the

medicines that the doctors were giving

me worked. So, if that wasn't enough for

me to be like, "Yo, I really like this

shit." In 2016, a friend of mine

suddenly died and with no clue how to

process those thoughts, weed provided me

and the bros a much needed escape. So,

you combine these things together and

very quickly, I'm a daily user. And

technology, I've said this before, 2016,

2017 was like the industrial revolution

of degeneracy. teachers didn't know what

carts were that we could use pens to get

smacked in the locker room every single

day at lunch. It was like the wild west.

And uh I don't know if this was just a

New York thing, but there was this one

brand called Space Vapes. And honestly,

looking back, it was probably cut with

some crazy [ __ ] because it dead tasted

like soap. I mean to this day when I use

my face wash, I'm like, "Yo, why does

this smell like what I was smoking as a

kid?" So between, you know, vapes,

edibles, carts, even regular sprayed

flour, we had no idea what we were

inhaling. We just knew that it felt

good. And and that was pretty much my

experience at first. And talking about

it now sounds awful. I mean, I

definitely did irreversible damage to my

brain and my body. But you got to

remember this is 2017. So right now the

at this point in time the Xandemic is in

full effect. Heads were straight up

knocked out in class. Like when when the

bell rang you had to wake them up to go

to the next class. So at the time my

mushy underdeveloped brain was like damn

at least I'm being healthy with my

pesticidal weed as opposed to you know

popping fake Zans. It felt like weed was

always there for me, which sounds crazy,

but um from 2015 all the way up to

basically 2023, I used it every day.

Fully ingrained itself into my life. And

remember, this is a unique time because

when I started using it, it was still

illegal. Like, I had to use my friend's

piss for a piss test in 2018 just to

become a door man because I had weed in

my system. And then you fast forward a

few years later, all of a sudden it's

accepted. It's like the easiest thing to

get. Every store, every deli, there's

disposs on every block, right? So, it

was like as it was becoming something I

needed to function more and more, as I

was going more and more dependent on it,

it was becoming more and more accepted.

And I was so stubborn about it, too. If

there was anyone saying anything

negative, I'd bug out. I'd instantly be

like, "You don't understand, bro. Like,

it's so much better for you than

drinking." Like, that was just the

justification. And it felt like that was

the general consensus among society at

the time too. But anyway, my tolerance

had gotten so high. I gotten so

dependent on it that really no one could

notice when I was smacked. Like when I

was a doorman, I would literally face a

Jay on the way to work and nobody had a

clue. Or at least that's what I thought,

right? Every stoner, it's funny, swears

they're like the best at hiding it. Um,

and I myself, I was pretty nasty at

hiding it. But the truth is, somebody

always knows. So during this time,

despite how much I tried to ignore them,

the consequences of this quote perfect

drug were becoming harder and harder to

ignore, the stuff that they didn't tell

us about. You know, the reasons they

tell us or they told me when I was a kid

not to smoke was is because, you know,

it can trigger psychosis. And that was

always a scary one cuz I've seen that

happen to somebody and it's super sad.

But I was a cocky teenager, so I didn't

care about that. I was taking that risk.

And obviously the other risk they always

told us about is like how bad it is for

your lungs to smoke. Again, true, but

not enough to deter a little walnuts

from getting geeked. So, you know, if I

was warning younger me about the

problems with becoming dependent on

something like weed to actually scare

somebody, I would start with one word

and it would be complacency. The most

lowkey but dangerous side effect of my

daily use was how cool I became with

being a pathetic loser. I don't know how

else to put it. I was confusing getting

smacked every single night with being

happy with my present circumstances.

When I first picked up on this, it was

during CO, you know, after months of

being locked down with my entire family.

Understandably, they were starting to

lose it. But me, like, everyone was

shocked with how well I was handling

being stuck at home doing absolutely

nothing. They didn't understand it. I

did, though. I was getting geeked the

entire time ripping war zone with the

gang. And I'll never forget the day that

my plug ran out. And after about 12

hours, the misery of my situation, the

reality of what I had been doing for the

past few months punched me in the face

all at once. Like I realized that I have

just been rotting at home doing nothing

for months. And instantly I was in a

terrible mood. There was only one thing

that could make me happy at this point

in time and pull me out of this

depression. And you can probably guess

what it was. The problem with daily use,

you'll look around and be like, "Shit, I

have everything that I need in life

right now." Your situation, your reality

will feel perfect. You'll have no

complaints. Which sounds nice, right? It

sounds like gratitude. But the problem

is in most cases that isn't actually

your reality. like my reality was a chud

reality, but I couldn't see that because

I was so satisfied. The next most

obvious long-term effect is the brain

fog. And even when I wasn't geeked, I

just knew in the back of my mind that I

was not firing on all cylinders. I would

constantly be trying to convince myself

that it's not making me dumb, but

eventually it just catches up to you.

The studies are coming out now. And this

is again why timing is so important

because when I was looking at the

studies as a kid, they were all from

the8s and they were smoking some ass

pack in the 80s. I was smoking the good

[ __ ] So the studies are coming out now.

You know, now you see something like the

average habitual smoker sees an IQ drop

of eight points. Now you see things that

the hippocampus, I think that's how you

pronounce it, which is the memory

center, literally shrinks. Again, this

isn't going to happen if you do it once

a month or whatever, but this is what

happens when you abuse it. And I was

abusing the [ __ ] out of it. I'll never

forget at my corporate job, I would

never smoke before or during that job,

but it didn't matter. You know, I went

in to ask for a promotion one time,

which I deserved 100%. I was being

horribly underpaid. But in the meeting,

I remember just not being able to

articulate myself. I couldn't get what I

needed to say out. It was like hidden

underneath this fog, this cloud of cush.

So, I botched it and I didn't get the

promotion for another quarter. And I'll

never forget walking away from that

meeting just thinking to myself like,

"Yo, I need to stop making myself

dumber." I knew deep down the cause of

it. And it was just like I was living

life on hard difficulty. The short-term

memory thing really started to mess with

me, too. Especially when I discovered

reading and started reading books. I

noticed like I'm forgetting plot points,

characters, information just wouldn't

stick. Bro, do you know how many movies

I've watched for the first time twice?

Like, you can sit there and enjoy

something when you're high, but a few

weeks later, you'll completely forget

what it was that you liked, right? And a

few months later, you'll forget about it

all. It's totally gone. And the thing

that was so scary about it was how easy

it was to hide. My family didn't even

know how geeked up I was getting. You

can move around your daily life getting

drunk and people are going to notice.

People are going to pick up on that,

right? But not with weed. So, it got to

this point where I just couldn't lie to

myself anymore. Um, but I still couldn't

quit. So, even though I knew it was

doing me dirty, the idea of stopping was

too terrifying to even dive into because

subconsciously I knew that whatever it

was specifically that I was

self-medicating for, which at this point

there was a ton of reasons, but the

reason that I was numbing myself every

night, I would have to face that. All

that [ __ ] comes right back into the

picture when you finally stop. In this

world, there are geekers and

non-geeekers. I've accepted the fact

that I'm a geeker. So, the question

becomes, how does someone who loves

getting geeked stop getting geeked? The

answer is simple. You don't. I still get

geeked. I just don't need a Jay or a

cart or edibles to do it anymore. The

goal is to be geeked sober. So, what I

had to do was change my definition of

getting geeked. switch my focus from

trying to numb and dissociate from life

to instead really rolling that life [ __ ]

up and smoking that. I wanted to quit a

hundred times at least, but I couldn't

because I was telling myself, you know,

I'm going to be missing out on missing

out on this. I'm missing out on that.

And some of that I can accept is true.

Like that warm feeling, that ability to

always have something to lean on,

instantly switch yourself into a good

mood where nothing can bother you. But

the truth is, and I had to learn this,

there is no substance to alleviate this

life [ __ ] properly. The ups and downs of

life, it's just part of the game. For

years, I was trying to self-medicate

these downs, trying to make them easier

to deal with, but any substance that you

rely on to do this will eventually come

back and get your ass, bro. Right? So, I

started to prioritize consciousness,

clearing my brain up, being present, and

all this to me starts with meditation.

I'm not going to [ __ ] about it like I

always do, but it was non-negotiable in

this process for me. I still do it every

single day, every morning. And I swear

it is gotten to this point where it is

so much better than getting smacked.

It's like I'm wake I'm doing a wake and

bake, but I'm subtracting the baking.

you're just waking. So that sounds so

stupid saying that, but I don't know how

else to describe it. Focusing on this

type of growth is how I started to move

forward because weed, what it does is it

forces introspectiveness, but it's not

in the same way that meditation does.

It's not something that makes you grow.

So what I started to do was focus on

growth. And I'm not trying to sound like

a self-help Chad here, but this is

seriously how I got out of this. I honed

in on the things that I couldn't do

because of the brain fog, because of the

weed, the memory problems, right? So

reading was at the top of that list,

too. Learning, remembering [ __ ]

thinking through things. What I was

doing was trading that immediate

dopamine blast for a different kind of

high, like a a kind of high that slowly

shows up in your day-today life. And

once I noticed myself feeling sharper,

that was it. It started to require a lot

less willpower to stop to not smoke

because I was focused on mental

progress. The gym too, I had the problem

with me was I had already been going to

the gym for years at this point and a

lot of times I would go to the gym

geeked up as well. So, it wasn't like

that much of a lifestyle adjustment, but

I really relied on it heavily and still

do to be honest. like the endorphins,

the physical progress, focusing on that

again, I'm not sure I would have been

able to quit without that. And to this

day, it's like when I get a big lift in

or if I do some crazy cardio or play

basketball, then, you know, hit the

steam room, I walk out of that gym

geeked, high as a kite, just without the

anxiety, without the self-doubt, without

the munchies. The munchies, dude,

another thing I had to focus on to quit.

I had gotten so used to going nuts every

single night at 10 p.m. just inhaling

food because of the bottomless pit in my

stomach. Once that was gone, I was able

to cut weight and combined with how

heavy I was leaning on the gym. And all

of a sudden, I'm seeing more progress.

So, I stuck to that. I had to hold on to

that. Next thing I noticed, all of a

sudden, I'm having dreams again. Like,

dude, I basically went a decade with

zero dreams. So, at first I was

tripping. Like at first the dreams were

so real. I didn't even I I could barely

realize that they were dreams. But for

the first time my body was getting that

deep sleep I was preventing by getting

high every night. So another thing I

started to focus on was energy and how

much more I had during the day. It's

like I spent so many years complaining

why am I so tired all the time? Why do I

need naps? Why? It's like, wow, who

would have thought big brain bro stop

smoking weed all the time. Now he has

more energy. All this combined, all this

is his progress and this want to become

better because I no longer had this

crutch that was telling me I don't, you

know, I'm good where I'm at. I don't

need to be better because I have

everything I need. Cuz that wasn't my

reality. It was a fake reality. Focusing

on the progress, even if it was small at

first, was the only way I was able to

climb out of this deep ass hole that I

put myself in. Memory. Another one. It's

like, yo, my memory is way better now.

This is something that makes me not want

to go back to daily use. I would be

stupid because I've seen the light. So,

just like with any addiction, if you're

a heavy user, a daily user like I was,

you have to go cold turkey. You will be

a cranky [ __ ] because of it. And that's

fine because you have to go through

this. I did too. I was just not pleasant

to be around. Um, but you need to do

that. You need to go the distance. So,

if you do end up partaking, you know,

one night out you're with friends or you

go see a movie, you smoke a take a hit

of a Jay or something because you've

seen the light now there's zero chance

that you go back to daily use to abusing

it. And what I did for for the really

bad urges, cuz there will be urges,

especially at first when you're at home,

if you're bored for a second, it's going

to hit you. So, you need to be able to

start moving physically or mentally. Uh,

but if nothing else works, what I would

do was I would go to the store and get

CBD gummies and just muck the entire bag

of gummies. And that would trick my

brain into thinking that I'm getting

geeked, and it would kill the urge. But

that whole time, I'm still sober. So

viewing it as this band-aid for all

problems, this medicine is just fried.

Um, but viewing it as this big bad

devastating drug also kind of fried. Uh,

I know now like I will never go back to

the way it was because like I said, I've

seen the other side. But you know,

sometimes there's a time and a place

once in a blue moon. The way that I view

it now is like it is not a medicine.

It's a substance that changes your

state. In some ways, you can compare it

to alcohol where only on occasion you

partake and you can still live a

completely healthy life. But at the same

time, the pros and cons of that, they're

so different that that comparison

doesn't really actually hold up. They're

different. They're just different drugs,

but they the lie they told us was that

weed was better than alcohol. They're

both terrible. They're both products

that you cannot be consuming on a daily

or even frequent basis and live a

healthy life. And they have pros and

cons. Like a pro of the occasional drink

or two is that you're more likely to end

up outside of your comfort zone being uh

social, right? It'll loosen you up a

little bit. But a con is that you feel

like dying the next day and you're

killing your uh liver. Where a pro of

weed would be that sometimes it changes

your perspective in a positive way. You

see something differently. But a con is

that you're more likely to isolate

yourself at the crib and just eat and

game. And I do want to be clear, there

are situations where it can be

medicinal, but we know that like for me

when I had my crazy surgery, they

prescribed me perks for the pain and I

used edibles instead. I didn't touch the

jerks. Okay, actually no, I had one

jerk, but if you guys knew the pain I

was in, but they prescribed me a whole

bottle and I threw that [ __ ] out. I used

edibles instead. So there are medicinal

benefits, but the general population, me

and the bros, do not need to be doing

this [ __ ] frequently. We are not smoking

the [ __ ] that our parents were smoking,

right? Uh all the research on weed and

its impact on the brain, especially in

on teenagers and young adults, was done

when they were smoking absolute mids.

Because of legalization, because these

companies are trying to make as much

money as possible, they're pumping as

much THC into these products as

possible. Even since from when I was in

high school to now, it was like back

then we would smoke and we would get the

giggles and laugh. And then now you get

a pre-roll from a dispensary, you start

looking around like, "Yo, why is

everyone looking at me? What what are

you guys laughing about?"

>> Like, I swear it's just way more potent.

Why they decided to do this, my guess is

that higher tolerance means higher

profits. But it's important to keep in

mind that this is not the same drug that

it was 30, 40 years ago. This is a new

level of getting geeked. So, moral of

the story for me was that being sober,

as much as it might suck at any given

time, is always going to be the way. Um,

and anytime you make exceptions for

that, you need to accept the

consequences. Uh, let me know what you

guys think. Thanks for all the love

recently, and I'll talk to you soon.

Peace.