This Therapist Made Me Rethink How I Talk to Myself | Mel Robbins #Shorts

I want to read to you from your New York

Times bestseller, US. I tell my [music]

clients that if they walk away from

their sessions with me with just this

one concept, they will have spent their

therapy money. Well, here it is. [music]

There is no redeeming value whatsoever

in harshness.

Harshness does nothing that loving

firmness doesn't do better. That's a

revolution.

That's lifechanging.

And by the way, harshness between you

being harsh to somebody, no value.

Allowing them to be harsh to you, no

value. And watch this. You being harsh

to you, no value.

>> How many of us think, well, I have to be

firm with myself in order to whip

myself. And uh think about the way we

deal with kids on a good day. You don't

have to be harsh to be firm. Be firm.

[music] You know, I'm 75.

I like to tell my clients at 75, I have

a deal with the universe. If it's not

kind, I'm not interested. And that's

whether it's me talking to you or me

listening to you or me talking to me.

You know, that adaptive child part of me

is very harsh. I grew up with a violent

father and I was very violent between my

ears [music] for decades. Nowadays, that

harsh critic I know is just my little

teenage fighter. Kept me alive.

Okay, little 17-year-old

kicker. Don't let nobody take advantage.

Okay, got it, pal. You may have

something to say to me and I'll listen,

but you got to say it like you're on my

side.

Take that in.

Say it like you're on my side, then I'll

listen.