When To Speak Up in Your Relationship

you go into the kitchen and you say

something to your wife and she's a bit

sharp and you think a wife shouldn't be

sharp to her husband you can reverse

that so the husband shouldn't be sharp

to the wife well should I say anything

and the answer is probably no you should

just let it go you shouldn't regard that

error as indicative of a sufficient

pattern to respond to so maybe later in

the day you see your wife again the same

thing happens and you think okay that's

twice but you still don't say anything

because you think well maybe she's

hungry or maybe she's tired or we don't

really need to have a fight about this

because that would be its own problem

and we'll just assume it's only twice

then it happens three times you think

okay three establishes the pattern then

you say hey I need to talk to you for a

minute I came in here this morning and

this is what happened what's going on

wouldn't it be easier just to ignore it

and the answer is yeah in the short term

but if you ignore a thousand of those

events then your marriage will be over