February 17, 2026 - Apogee Young Woman Call

Hello.

Hey there.

How are you? I'm doing good. And here is

Misha. I'm gonna make you co-host,

Lydia.

>> Sounds good. Case

Hi, Misha.

>> There we go. Hi.

>> Hello. How's it going?

>> Going well. It's uh my girl here.

Although nobody in my family wants to go

to a parade, so I might go and do that

by myself tonight. Just

>> Oh, okay. How fun.

>> Um well, we're gonna give just a second

for these young women to uh to get here.

Ladies, I would love for you guys to

turn your cameras on and participate um

if you can. Um if not, it's just going

to be us and Macy.

So, how are you doing, Misha? It's been

a little while since we've seen you at

the reunion, but it was awesome hanging

out with you there.

>> Yeah, you know, things are great. life

has full of its unique challenges, but

um I feel like anytime challenges

present themselves, it's just uh for me,

call me a toxic optimist, but I feel

like it's an opportunity.

>> Have you all completed the move to Idaho

yet?

>> No, we're not there yet. We'll probably

be there in the summer.

>> Okay, got it.

>> Yeah,

>> that's exciting.

>> Yeah.

>> Exciting.

All right. Well, we'll just go ahead and

get started and hopefully um some of

these ladies can get in and participate.

We usually have about 11 women here. Um

so I don't

>> I think it's a holiday weekend, so

that's might be part of it.

>> That could be

>> hard to trickle in

>> part of what's happening. But um just I

would like you um first just to uh tell

us a little bit about your story. um

tell us who you are so these young women

can uh get to know you. And and um also

I just I selfishly want to dive into uh

we are doing some challenges around

interviewing um inside of Apogee Young

Women. So they have an opportunity to

interview um CEOs and also first

responders. So, I want to get them

comfortable uh with asking you

questions. Um, as we talked about this

last week on our call, that could be a

reason why some of the young ladies

aren't here too. They're maybe nervous,

but um getting just to ask you questions

as like an interview style process. And

we've also been reading the book Atomic

Habits. Um so maybe diving into that,

but I would love to hear a little bit

about you, Misha.

Okay. Well, first I describe myself as a

believer. Um, you know, I have a great

spiritual relationship and connection

with God. I think that that is

important. And, you know, I used to

chase happiness. I really was like, you

know, I want to be happy. And I had

convinced myself, which I think is um

pretty standard, that you find happiness

with success and um and money and all

the things that come with that. Um, so I

convinced myself that becoming a UFC

world champion would equal happiness.

And in my pursuit of happiness,

ultimately I found peace, which is a far

better place to be, than to seek

happiness. I think that happiness um is

an illusion. Um I don't believe that

humans were meant to operate with

happiness all the time. You know, like I

would I bet pretty much everyone on this

call right now, including myself, I

would not describe us as happy in this

moment, right? we have we're we are

maybe we're focused, we're interested,

we're curious, but happiness is such a

small piece of our daily experience. And

I think it's meant to be that way. Um I

think that humans were meant to be

purposeful. And I think in purpose we

find our peace. And when we can learn to

deal with hard things, when we develop

the tools of how to get through

challenges of life, that we ultimately

become almost invincible to um

um to whatever life throws at us. Um

it's not that it doesn't hurt or that it

doesn't sting, but I feel like we can

acknowledge it and we can get through it

when we have peace. And for me, that

spiritual connection is what that that's

what that ultimately offers. Um, so a

little bit more about myself. Um, other

than being a believer and a mother, um,

I was the former UFC world champion and

I dedicated, um, a good 20 years of my

life to competing in combat sports. And,

um, I've been, you know, a quote unquote

fighter for the majority of my life.

And, um, in all aspects, I still like to

think of myself as that way. And, you

know, metaphorically, I think I like to

fight. I like to fight a good fight. I

love to take on challenges um because I

again I I feel like I get to really find

out what I'm made of and who I am when

the hardest um moments of life present

themselves and then I can really really

really focus in on again harnessing the

peace um in the chaos and peace is the

most valuable thing. Don't, you know, I

I recommend you don't don't seek

happiness, okay? S happiness is an

illusion. That's what you see on

Instagram, right? You see all these

girls that look so happy and their lives

look so perfect and you're like, "Oh my

gosh, why is my life like not like that?

It's not supposed to be. That's not what

God intended for you and it's not um

what is actually going to fill your

cup." Um peace

will give you far more than happiness

ever will. Happiness is a small part of

our lives. And I think it was again

meant to be that way because when we're

seeking purpose, we're usually trying to

get through the hard moments. We're

we're trying to we are trying to elevate

ourselves. We're trying to have

intention and help others and elevate

others, and that makes us feel fulfilled

and peaceful, but um happiness is a

small part. So that's Yeah. Go ahead.

>> I like I like this um idea of of peace.

like it, you know, I never I never

uh thought about I get peace when I'm

I'm driven in my purpose. And if you

could maybe um talk a little bit more

about like what does that look like for

you? What does peace

specifically look look like in in terms

of your purpose?

I think that peace looks like serenity

to me. And by by that I mean

I think as people we naturally want to

react to things that h we think that

things happen to us

but I don't think that things really

happen to us. I think again it is how we

interpret it and reframing how we

interpret the things that happen around

us because things happen to everyone all

the time. So I think not spending too

much time feeling so sorry for ourselves

like why me? Um, I was at a church

service and I remember the pastor was

saying that

basically the reason why we have

challenges, why we don't just get to

live blissful lives full of happiness is

because each opportunity that is is

challenging for us is more of an

opportunity to be like Christ. That's

what it is. It's an opportunity to w

walk the path that Jesus walked when it

was hard. He made the best decisions,

the right decisions. So every time that

you're faced with a hard decision, do

you just react to it? When we become

reactionary, we feel like the world is

happening to us and we don't have a

choice and and we don't have a say. And

I basically have kind of relinquished

that idea that I need to have such a

choice and a say. I have my drive and my

desire, but I full well understand that

that the whole plan of my life isn't

totally in my hands. Um, I'm going to

pursue the things that I feel called to

pursue.

But

when the hard things come to me, like

losing a fight or losing a job or losing

a loved one or losing a cat or losing a

dog or um

you know even your parents getting into

a fight and it's just it's hard to deal

with or your friend spreads rumors about

you or or anything you know or somebody

hurts you that's close to you. These

things are are you know unfortunately

it's part of life and so how do we get

through that? Do you feel sorry for

yourself? Do you wish that you could

just have happiness or do you realize

you know what there is something to be

learned from this. There is a challenge

there's something that I would get

through and and the younger you are I

think

this takes a while to conceptualize. So,

I hope I'm just planting small seeds and

that if you're if you're still very

young that these will blossom at some

point in your life.

>> Um, but but truthfully, those challenges

are opportunities to relate to and help

other people in your life. When you go

through a hard time, it's a gift and

it's an opportunity. And when you can

take it and not react to it and say,

"Oh, the world's happening to me." Say,

"You know what? I'm going to give it up.

I'm going to give it up to Christ or

whatever you believe. Or I'm just going

to let it go. I mean, maybe if you're

somebody who isn't necessarily um super

religious or you I don't want to say

religious, that's not exactly the right

word that I mean, but um I don't expect

you to have a relationship with God to

understand what I'm saying. Okay? So,

you can also just like give this up to

whatever it is that's not fully like

it's not on you. This happens to people.

It happens to everybody. But we can um

take this and we can find our peace to

move through it. And I like to liken it

to having a metaphorical house. So the

first house that you all might ever ever

build might be out of popsicle sticks.

Okay? And that popsicle stick house

probably isn't going to be the house or

like a hermit crab, the first shell that

you have isn't the same shell that

you're going to continue to find and

grow into. So each time that your

metaphorical home gets ruined or lost or

burns to the ground, do you have the

skills to build it again? Can you do

that? And that part, the skill part of

how we process what happens to us and

like kind of giving that power up of

like, hey, I don't have all the control

in the world, right? Yeah. There's a

song called Jesus Take the Wheel. It's

kind of like that, right? And when you

realize that, there's just so much peace

um in realizing that we don't have to

have it all figured out and we don't

have to be happy all the time either.

Like, can we just let go of that

illusion? It's it's no matter what

you're feeling, you're right to feel it.

As long as you don't live in in the

mindset of being a victim or being sad

all the time, we don't we don't succumb

to that. We don't just give up with

that. But if you have feelings, I

encourage you to really have them. You

know, I used to think that in my pursuit

of happiness that it was bad to be sad.

It was bad to be angry. It wasn't okay

to have bad bad feelings. But feelings,

I believe, are not good or bad. They're

human. And we need to offer space for

those feelings. So now when I am sad, I

try to be as sad as I can be. I try to

like I just want to like cry as hard as

I want and I want to really let those

feelings out. If I'm angry, I may go

outside and just like scream at the top

of my lungs. I try to get really angry.

I will punch a pillow. You know, I'll

obviously do things that are safe. Um

you know, but and I tried to give that

to my kids, too, that when they have

their anger, like here are things that

you can do. Here are things that you

cannot do when you're angry. Um and and

it's okay to have that feeling and like

really let it out. Like when my kids are

crying about something, I tell them,

"Okay, cry really hard. I want you to

like just let it all out. Cry loud. Cry

hard because you deserve to have that

feeling and it's okay for you to have

it. It's human. And moving through that

emotion is important. It's more

important than what most people when you

go to school or when you if you don't

have um if nobody's ever told you this,

you might think that when you have those

feelings, it's not okay or it's bad or

we try not to have them. We try to tuck

them down deep or we try to shove it in

a closet and we just don't address it.

And that's how we get sick as women. Did

you know that out of all the autoimmune

diseases that exist in people, 80% of

them exist in women?

Why do you think that is? It's because

our God-given biology is to have lots of

emotions throughout every single month.

We go through varying hormone degrees up

up and down and when then we go through

menopause and we we go through, you

know, birth if we have children um and

even coming into puberty. I mean,

there's just so much going on and so

much that's I think misunderstood about

women and underserved uh young women um

older women. It's uh we we don't have

these conversations enough. But I guess

what I'm trying to say is that I believe

that we have these emotions for a

purpose. And it's important to learn

that there's no good ones, no bad ones,

and it's just the best thing to do is to

learn how to navigate them, let them

out, because if we don't, we make

ourselves sick. I think the body an

autoimmune disease is your body fighting

itself, not recognizing self from

something toxic or something bad. So

when our when our our mind is telling

us, hey,

we're sad right now or we're upset or

we're frustrated and we're like, no,

we're not. The body gets into a fight.

Oh, I don't care how I feel. I want to

push it down. I want to push it away.

I'm going to go to work. I'm going to do

this. I'm going to serve others and I'm

not going to pay attention to the way

that I feel because it's bad. We make

ourselves sick. It's not a coincidence

that 80% of all autoimmune diseases are

in women. That's not a coincidence. Our

biology and our hormones are much more

sensitive than men's to the stress and

chaos of life. So that's why I think

it's so important not to seek happiness,

but to seek peace because in peace

there's healing. And that is really what

I found out. Um I had to really fall

flat on my face. Um I had to lose a

couple fights. I had to um be in a

really toxic relationship for about nine

years and exit that relationship and I

had to find out who my friends really

were. And I even thought at one point I

questioned whether my life was valuable

still, whether I my life was still worth

living. And in that moment I think the

only person that could have been there

for me was Jesus. And he was. and he

slowly started to turn things around for

me. um and in my faith and my pursuit of

of purpose which led to peace and um

pulled back the curtain on the the whole

it was it was like seeing behind the

curtain at the Wizard of Oz, you know,

that you really see that it's not what

the world likes to paint the illusion

that money is going to fix things, that

being prettier is going to fix things,

that being thinner is going to fix

things, that helping other people more

is going to fix things, that getting

straight A's is going to fix things,

that getting a better paying job is

going to fix things, that being a trophy

wife is going to fix things. This is all

an illusion that the world wants you to

buy into. Having nicer shoes, having

cuter clothes, having uh the popular

friends, like none of that fixes

anything. It I mean, I I wish that it

was a um a more simple answer, but yet

it is. But you just have to

conceptualize this and kind of come to

terms with how powerful having peace and

resolution in your heart and soul is and

being able to move through hard times um

and not feel alone because you're really

not. You're never you're never alone. Um

not only the people around you but the

higher power is always there for you in

in all moments, good and bad.

>> I want to think that.

>> Go ahead. Sorry. Go. It's fine. I was

just going to say um I wanted to bring

back around to um really like getting in

tune with your emotions. Uh something

that we did with with my um my children.

I have five children. Um and boys and

girls um but we there's something called

the feelings wheel and you can like

actually Google search that. So when not

in the moment cuz sometimes in the

moment you have no idea how you're

feeling but maybe after the fact writing

through okay I was like flooded by all

of these emotions and really digging

into what did that actually look like?

Because when we get in a state where we

feel flooded, it's like, okay, I'm mad

or I'm I'm happy or I'm like we don't

know or I'm angry. Like you you don't

know the other words to pinpoint what

how you're actually feeling.

>> So that was super helpful also for me in

moments to look at this and say, okay,

here is what I'm feeling, but why? like

what are what are some of the offset

emotions of maybe I'm frustrated or

maybe I'm sad or maybe you know I

there's something I'm feeling lonely and

what has really helped for my children

and for myself because I do this as well

is in my journal I'm writing about what

those emotions are so I'm not allowing

them to be stuffed like you said um or

I'm sharing them with either my husband

usband or my children or friends that

you know people that I trust so that I

can work through some of those emotions.

It's okay to have the feeling. What I

don't I 100% agree with you, Misha.

What's not okay is just to stuff all

that and pretend like we're not feeling

it.

>> Yes. Yeah. That's so powerful. I think

there are a lot of tools out there that

can help us not only identify our

emotions, but move through them. And I

think that's the most important part.

I'll tell you what, I'm not a big fan of

talk therapy, like talk therapists,

because what I found is that typically

they kind of keep reopening the same

injury. And it is important to be able

to talk about it, but we don't want to

live there, right? We the whole goal is

to develop tools to get to the other

side of hard times. And I think that's

the most important skill set. So, I like

behavior

um cognitive behavioral therapy because

it all gives you the tools to move

through it. Um, and then I think yeah,

you know, reflecting. I think there

needs to be a lot of space in all of our

lives for self-reflection, for deep,

thoughtful self-reflection. If you are

someone who cannot have a quiet moment,

you've got to have music on, and you've

got to have, you know, something going

on, you got to call your friend, you got

to text. If you can't sit with yourself

for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes

and just let your brain decompress and

think about the things and let your

feelings come forward and let your

curiosity about yourself and your

thoughts. If you can't do that, I

suggest you start working on it because

quiet moments are very important for our

brains to be able to process it to to to

process the things that um the noise of

the world will quickly cancel out,

especially if we choose to do that. You

know, I know some people who just can't

spend any time with themselves. They

can't they quietly because it's

uncomfortable for them cuz they're so

used to drowning out their feelings,

tucking them down deep, stuffing them

out. And that's like imagine how much

energy it takes to stuff a beach ball

under the water. Has anybody ever tried

to do that? Like push a beach ball under

the pool and like how incredibly

difficult is it to do that? That's what

you're doing with your feelings when we

choose not to feel them. And although we

may not feel that physical analogy of

shoving that beach ball, but we feel it

in our hearts, we feel it in our souls

and we feel it in our our our daily

purpose. And and again those autoimmune

diseases, this is what happens when you

start fighting yourself because you in

this analogy are both the beach ball and

the person holding the beach ball into

the water. You are literally fighting

yourself. the beach ball wants to come

up and be present and be processed

and you are saying no like if you say no

and eventually you burn out and um those

feelings are going to come out and then

you're not going to have the tools to

deal with them anyways and that's a very

frustrating place to be and I honestly

think that that is a big part of the

reason why suicide becomes more and more

prevalent especially in our younger

generations because um we're not

processing the feelings to move through

them. Um, I think there's an

acknowledgement of feelings, but there's

also this um kind of notion that woe is

you and like you poor thing and you've

got to you've got to sulk in that and

you've got to stay there. You don't have

to stay there. You can have it. You can

have all your feelings and then move

through it. And that's the most

important thing I think um to

acknowledge in all of this. So,

>> I think we've talked about that a lot

with the young ladies recently and just

being your like true authentic self. And

I feel like that's what um the feelings

and not bogging all of that down and

hiding it. That's one aspect of it. And

I was wondering if you have any like

tips or tricks for when you feel

yourself altering maybe the way that

you're showing up or your emotions based

off of what other people think or maybe

like a label that other people might

have for you or how they might how you

might think they're perceiving you. How

do you kind of go through life trying to

live your most authentic version um

without altering it based off of the

people you're interacting with? Well,

there are two things. One thing that I

try to do is be less reactionary. So, if

I'm in the moment and I realize I'm

starting to get what I call

disregulated, like my feelings are

starting to get out of control, I I the

sooner I can notice that, the better off

I'll be. So, I liken this as my

cognitive behavioral therapist gave me

this analogy. Okay, we're all holding

this metaphoric balloon and that is kind

of uh symbolic of our our emotions. And

when this balloon starts to wander off,

like how quickly can we grab the balloon

and bring it back to center? How quickly

do we notice that we've let go of this

balloon? Does it fly way off into the

sky, but we can't even see it anymore

before we even get a grasp on things, or

do we, as soon as we let go, can we

catch it again and bring it back? The

quicker we can do that, the quicker we

can begin to regulate and process and,

you know, and stop the whole catalyst,

you know, the avalanche of the the um

emotions and the guilt that comes with

not being able to slow ourselves down.

And for those of you who are very young,

your brains are still developing and

this is going to be more and more of a

challenging thing um because you're not

totally developed. But the great news is

that if you start this now, by the time

you're my age, you will be so well

equipped to deal with everything that

life has to throw at you, whether it's

being a parent or dealing with hard

times, whatever it is. So, taking deep

breaths, that's what I was going to say.

It is scientifically the only thing that

is proven to manually override fight or

flight.

So once we begin to become disregulated,

so you got to notice it, right? I'm

getting upset. You could say it out

loud. Say it out loud if you have to

name it. I'm getting upset right now.

I'm getting mad. I'm getting angry. I'm

getting sad. I'm getting this. All okay.

We don't shut those feelings out. We

just notice it with a genuine curiosity.

And if we don't want to fly off the

handle uncontrollably, we can

acknowledge that and we could take a

deep breath or three preferably way down

into your belly like you're trying to

drop an elevator down past your belly

button from the top down. Okay? So we're

not breathing through our chest. We're

trying to breathe down through our belly

button. You take three deep breaths.

Okay? And then that's a nice reset. Now

hopefully we can be less reactionary and

we can start to process. we begin the

processing feeling much quicker that way

as opposed to dealing with big big big

emotions that we that we didn't we

didn't want to get that out of control.

You know, sometimes we we do things or

we say things we don't mean or people do

things or say things to us that they

don't mean. It's usually because they

miss that that opportunity to like reset

and get regulated. Um, so that is the

way that you can regulate your nervous

system and help yourself before you get

to um, you know, in a place that's not

healthy. We want to process those

emotions. We don't want those emotions

to process us. Okay, so three deep

breaths. Um, and um, the other thing

that I was going to say, oh my gosh,

what was the other thing? Lenny, can you

ask your question again? Let's see if

that rings a bell for me. Yeah. I was

wondering if you have any tips or tricks

around um making sure that you're not

altering your most authentic self based

off of what other people are perceiving

about you or what you think.

>> I've got it. Okay. Now, I'm going to

ponder you a question really quick.

Okay. So, somebody said like let's say

you have something about you that you

are a little embarrassed about. maybe

have a birth mark or

um you you just I don't know anything

that you just don't really want people

to know about you or let's say you have

something really um okay I'll use my

husband for example my poor husband okay

he was known as the pee pee boy because

he wet the bed until he was like 10 okay

now as a child that was very traumatic

for him it's not anymore but he didn't

you know he he didn't know how to deal

with that and Then as he got older, he

started to lean into it and joke about

it and just say, "You know what?

That was that was me." And we found out

later, we found out that he had

spinobipida, which is actually something

that doesn't allow for the bladder to

feel as intensely. So anyways,

I would encourage you if that there's

that some one thing that's like

embarrassing or you don't know, just

like think about this for a second. What

if

you could get like you could get to a

point where nobody could embarrass you

about that? What if like you were the

first person to talk about it? What if

you were the first person to be like,

"Yeah, that's just like, yep, yeah, look

at this. Oh my gosh, my sister has a

giant birthark on the inside of her." I

mean, giant. She when she was a kid,

she's a little bit more self-conscious

about it. Now she's like, she's proud of

it. My daughter has a heangi hemangioma

on her nose. And um you know we we we

just discuss it in a way that's like

let's be upfront about this. Let's just

let's just put out there so that nobody

can take that from you. Nobody can give

you that embarrassment because you've

already leaned into it. You've already

said, you know, um yeah, like I'm just

going to talk about it. I'm going to be

totally transparent. You can't embarrass

me. Like I will be um I will be like

strong and okay about this. Like I'm

going to process this so that it's not

something that you could use as a tool

to hurt me. And I think if I'm I'm

trying my best to conceptualize this to

you guys, but what I'm basically saying

is none of you on this call could hurt

me about anything. You could know all

the secrets in my life and you couldn't

say one thing to me. You could say,

"Miesa, you have a big nose." And I

would say, "Yeah, you're right. I have a

bigger nose than most people."

That's all right. Um Misha,

uh you're not as fed as you used to be.

Yeah, you're absolutely right. I spend

more time with my family now. I don't

have as much muscle tone as I did. Yep.

Like that's fine. You can notice

anything about me. You haven't shaved

your legs today. Yep. You're absolutely

right. Here they are. Haven't shaved

them. Um so, so like leaning into that

that we're all imperfect. There's

something about each and every one of

you that you might feel self-conscious

about, but there's also something that

the person next to you feels

self-conscious about. it doesn't

ultimately really matter. Like, let's

stop giving this stuff as much power as

as it needs to. Like, let's lean into it

because when you take the power away

from anybody else and they can't hurt

you, you find peace.

And and I guess um that might be easier

said than done. You have to start with

steps. You have to practice. But it's a

wonderful feeling. It's very liberating.

It's basically like um I have a a

superpower, like an armor that um nobody

can hurt me with. Nobody can hurt me. Um

and even if they say things that are not

true, like Misha, like you're a terrible

mom. Like, you know, there's people on

the internet, right, that like love to

leave just terrible comments on our on

our pictures that, you know, people we

don't know or maybe we maybe we do.

Maybe there's a bully at school. Um

here's how I look at that. Okay, Misha,

you're a terrible mom. Is that a true

statement? No, it's not. I'm a great

mom. I love my kids very very much. Um,

so when it's not a true statement, I

don't take those things to heart.

Instead, I I think about how I empathize

with the person that's criticizing me

because I know that hurt people try to

hurt people. So that person on the other

side of the screen or that's this bully

at school, they probably don't have

parents at home that are loving on on

them the way that your parents are. So

count your blessings and and meet that

person with a little bit of empathy and

a little bit of like compassion that you

know what, they're trying to hurt me

because they're hurt and that's just the

truth. So, um, that's a way to kind of

disarm a little bit of what the world is

going to try to throw at you. Um,

yeah, and like somebody maybe like will

have road rage on in the road, you know,

and they'll they'll cut me off and

they'll be angry and they'll be and and

you know what I instead of getting angry

right back at them because then who's in

control? Not me.

I'm reacting to them. They're in control

of my emotions. Uh-uh. That's not how I

want my life to be. I don't want to

react to the world and let the world

decide the kind of person I'm going to

be. No, no, no. I'm going to take a deep

breath. I'm going to reset and I'm going

to kind of analyze and I'm going to say,

am I going to let this moment change who

I am? No. And and maybe sometimes I do.

I'm not perfect. Okay, let's all leave a

little bit of room for imperfection

here. Maybe there are times when I do

react and I say things that I don't mean

to my husband or even my kids. I'm

having a hard day and and um I snap at

my kids. Okay, I have to acknowledge

that. I apologize for it and you know I

hope that they that they accept that and

um that's basically how I approach

almost every situation and it takes a

lot of power away from people who are

not there to love and support you. It

takes a lot of power away from even the

people who do things that are hurtful

that we think we love and we trust or

just maybe mom's having a bad day and

she says something to you that um you

know that that's hurtful or dad snaps at

you and you get curious for a minute.

Okay, did mom or dad snap at me because

of me or are they probably having a

really hard day?

Right? Can we lead with a little bit of

like curiosity and compassion? And so I

approach my feelings this way, but I

also approach other people's feelings

this way. And um what I've come to learn

is that most people are having a hard

time just like like the rest of us do.

And some people don't figure this out.

So they're constantly reacting to

everything in the world and uh they're

not at all in control of their emotions

and therefore they can be sort of a

loose cannon and they can they can be

hurtful people to the rest of us if we

also choose to be reactionary and allow

that you know their influence to hurt

us.

Caroline before we get to you I want to

invite these young ladies to start

raising your hands asking questions.

this is your chance uh to start

practicing. So, you've heard a lot of

different topics on this call. Something

that helps me when I'm on a call and I'm

like listening and I'm and I'm like

drawn into what Misha's saying and I

don't want to forget something because

there's a topic that's important. I

usually bring a piece of paper to the

call and a pen and I jot down like some

things that you know other people are

talking about even when it when it's you

guys because I want to be make sure to

be able to circle back around and ask

questions and also not be lost in like

oh my gosh I'm sticking on this so I'm

not even paying attention to what what

the person is saying. So I would love

for you guys to take the opportunity

Ruth has her her real hand up. I love

this. Ruth, go ahead.

Yeah. So, was there ever a time when you

felt like you couldn't or like shouldn't

stand up for yourself? And how did you

get out of that mindset?

>> Oh, yes, Ruth. More times than I think

that I've been in a position where I

felt like I could stand up for myself

because it was much later in life.

Unlike you ladies, you ladies are going

to figure this out much earlier than me.

Um, I was raised by a mom who couldn't

say no. She was a yesw woman and she

would say yes to everybody even if it

was very taxing on herself. And she made

herself very very unwell doing that. And

I learned that also that um, you know, I

needed to say yes to people because that

was how I thought I provided value.

That's how I valued myself was on what I

could do for other people.

And

I think in

really sitting back and getting curious

about how that makes me feel.

Curiosity is a big one. We got to get

curious about our feelings. Why do I

feel the way that I feel? If I feel sad,

if I feel mad, if I feel happy, if I

feel like why do I actually feel that

way? Um, and usually there's a deeper

reason. And when I got curious about my

feelings, I could start to break down

the root cause of my feelings. And when

I started to ask myself how things even

make me feel, then I could start to

break down the feelings. And so I think

that is the the the

like step one is to check in with

yourself. Okay. Okay, so this is another

drill that I did with my cognitive

behavioral therapist is I'll call call

it CBT from now on. Cognitive behavioral

therapy was to take stickers. They were

like little orange stickers, you know,

that you see like on like discount items

sometimes at like the grocery store or

whatnot, but you could use any stickers,

okay? Any stickers. Use cute ones. Use

Hello Kitty ones. I don't care. But

stick them into random places like put

one on your door when you leave your

room. put one um on your notebook when

you pull it out for school or on your

laptop or or um on your steering wheel

if you drive um or on the backseat of

the car where they're like where you're

going to see it and every time that you

pass by that sticker just check in with

yourself and say like how am I in this

moment? Yeah, just a quick check in like

how am I feeling? Oh yeah, pretty good.

Or oh man, I'm still pissed off at you

know what like I'm still angry at this

or my friend just did that. you know

what what um how am I feeling? And it

gives you an opportunity and it helps

you remember a little bit to check in

with yourself. And once you start

getting a little bit more used to

checking in with yourself, you can start

to dissect the feelings. And I think

that was how I began to process and say,

"Hey, whoa, that doesn't actually make

me feel good."

um you know me doing this for this other

person at this time even though my

intention is good and I I want to be

nice

I don't feel good

right I'm overloaded and when I started

to realize that my real friends would

never expect me to make myself sick um

saying yes to their requests and that

real friends and real family will

respect your boundaries and it's

perfectly okay to have those And I think

that's when I started to switch and I

realized that if if I couldn't tell my

friends like, oh, you know, I like to

bake cakes. Okay, so sometimes I'll get

like a request like, hey, could you make

our wedding cake? Could you make a

birthday cake? There's things. And let's

say that I'm in a training camp and I'm

preparing for a fight and I've got my

kids and I've got all these things going

on and different media requests and I've

I've got calls to be on and I've got

this. Is it the right decision for me to

say yes to that when I'm not in a

position to do it with my well-being in

mind? The answer for me is no. Even

though I love this friend and I would

love to be able to do it, I will tell

them that I love you and I would love to

be able to do this, I just can't right

now. And a good friend and good family

member will be like, "Yeah, I totally

get it. That's totally fine. I was just

asking." Like, no big deal. Um, and so I

hope that that answers your your main

question there, Ruth. Thank you for

that.

>> All right. What about you, Brooklyn?

Okay, so I kind of have two questions.

My first one is how do you So when I'm

getting mad most of the time, I like

take a deep breath and then I get mad

all over again. And I think it's I label

what I'm feeling too late. So, my first

question, I guess, is how do you pick up

on what you're starting to feel early

enough to be able to curb it? And my

second question is kind of like a little

more random, but how do you if you've

lost a fight afterwards, how do you not

take that like, oh, I'm so mad energy

into the rest of your day? Because I

play sports and that's something that I

do a lot where I lose a game and then

I'm mad for like the rest of the day.

Yeah, these are such great questions.

Um, thank you for that, Brooklyn. Um,

okay. So, as I mentioned,

oh, first of all, let me validate you.

You're totally valid to have those

feelings. Sports is important, right? It

is important and it's okay for you to be

upset about a loss. That is normal. And

I would encourage you to like

acknowledge that that's okay. It is

perfectly okay for you to be upset. Now,

how long do you want to carry that for?

That's where we have to say, okay, how

long do I want how long do I want to let

this one moment

ruin the rest of my day or, you know,

continue to be carried with me like an

extra backpack? That's that's maybe not

necessary. Like maybe we can look at

that loss and say, gosh dang it, I'm so

I'm so frustrated. I worked really hard

for that. I'm upset about it. I'm mad

about it. I wanted a different outcome.

All valid. And now

I'm going to channel that and I'm going

to say, you know what, I'm going to I'm

going to maybe try this different or I'm

going to choose to try to let that go.

And and I say try because it's probably

still going to pop back up and you're

still going to get an intrusive thought

about how angry you are about it. Okay,

label that thought. Give it give it a

name. Okay, that was an intrusive

thought. That's not what I wanted to be

thinking about. I just decided I was

going to let go of this. And immediately

my brain went back to I'm so freaking

mad that this pass that I made, it

didn't work or that I didn't hit the

ball or whatever it was. Okay, you're

upset about it. Yeah. Okay. But that's

not what I'm choosing to focus on at the

moment. I acknowledge that. I'm upset. I

I'm upset about it. I have every reason

to be upset about it. But I'm also not

going to let it dictate who I am because

Brooklyn, no matter how many sports you

play, they will never be who you are. So

who are you at the end of the day? And

does that change whether you win or lose

a game?

Because for me it used to. Okay. I felt

like I was a loser. When I would lose a

fight, I felt like I was a loser and my

identity became tied up into the outcome

of sport, which I think can easily

happen for us in lots of ways that we

walk life, but especially as athletes.

We put so much value into our

performance as an athlete. But do you

still wake up tomorrow and is your name

still Brooklyn?

Do you still have a loving family and a

support system? Are you still who you

are

the day after a loss?

I would I would bet. Yeah, I would think

so. So, I think that you have to

remember that um again, it's valid and

it's okay to be frustrated and angry,

but how can we let go of that so it

doesn't um tie into your identity? How

do we begin to process that? I say deep

breaths. Don't don't maybe maybe you're

not a person who gets away with just one

deep breath. Maybe you'll get there.

Maybe you need three. That's how much

science says that you need to reset your

nervous system. So three deep breaths.

Then you have an intrusive thought right

away again or whenever you label it.

Say, "Okay, that wasn't what I wanted to

think. That was this intrusive thought

and I'm going to let go of that. I'm

going to think reframe and I'm going to

think about something else." Um you

always have to kind of put something

else in its place. um when we're trying

to quit a bad habit um or you know the

way that we think about something, we

have to put something else in its place

because our desire as people is to be

complete, right? So we want the whole

piece of the pie or the whole piece of

the the the p um pizza to be full.

That's how we feel well. And and so when

we have certain negative way of

thinking, we can't just not think

negative anymore. we actually have to

start put positivity in its place. Okay,

so each time that um here's an example.

Okay, as an athlete,

I often would have intrusive thoughts

like, "Oh my god, what if I lose this

fight?" Okay, that was like I was having

a peaceful moment and then I just

started to speculate about how much it

would bother me if I lose this fight and

oh my gosh, if I lose this fight, I'm

going to get half my paycheck. And if if

I lose this fight, are my kids going to

be disappointed in me? And if I lose

this fight or my coach is like and and

you start to get in this spiral, right?

I'm feeding into it. Now, when I have an

intrusive thought, I say, "Oh, okay,

that was an intrusive thought." And I

say, "Okay, let's get curious about

that. So, what if I lose this fight?

Okay,

I still wake up tomorrow.

I still have my God, still my kids,

still have my life, still have my loved

ones, I still have all the things that

are actually like

really valuable. It's not that we can't

want to win. We always want to win. It's

not that you can't be sad about losing

because you probably will be. But you

don't have to live in it, Brooklyn,

because it's not who you are. That is

just a part of what you do. And that is

always going to change. Okay? like what

you do is always going to change. So we

can't place like all of our value of who

we are in what we do and what the

outcome of what we do. And here's the

best part is that every loss and every

failure is the best opportunity to learn

and grow.

So I look forward to my failures now

where I used to hate them. I used to

hate them with a passion. I be like, I

hate failing because it sucks and it's

hard and I don't like losing fights and

I still don't like losing fights. But

now I look at it and I say, wow, okay,

well, let me get curious about why I

lost and like, okay, well, yeah, was

there some things going on in my life?

Um, sure. Was there, you know, was there

was was there anything I could have

maybe done differently or better? Yeah.

Well, let's see. Let's try let's try

this next time. Let's try this a little

differently and let's see if that helps.

Let me see if uh maybe eating a little

more protein helps. Let me see. It could

be really simple. Let me see if

meditating before bed helps. Let me see

if um visualization helps. Let me try

something to improve because I didn't

hit the mark this time. That's okay.

Still who I am. When I wake up tomorrow,

I still have all my values and I have

all my most important things. Sad about

this loss. But what can I learn from it?

And so that is how I approach these

things now. So when I lose, it doesn't

take me down forever. You know, it used

to be weeks. I would be sad and

depressed and glumous and just kind of

like, "Oh, the only way I could ever fix

this is to win win a fight, so I got to

schedule another fight." And then I

would continue that toxic trait of like

winning as a winner, losing is a loser.

And I never was fixing anything. So, um,

I know I answered part two of your

question. Could you remind me what part

one was if you remember, sweetie?

>> No, you're good. you had kind of already

gone over it a little bit, but I was

curious how you try to curb um well, how

you try to like diagnose kind of your

feelings

>> before they like kind of take full force

cuz you had kind of said like deep

breaths, but I I take deep breaths and

then I like relapse back into it.

>> Yeah, that's so good. Um okay, so I want

you to give yourself a little bit of

grace. How old are you?

I'm almost 14.

>> Okay. So,

I believe your brain is done developing

at about 25.

25 or 27. So, you still got a lot of

time before you are really going to be

able to be like, okay, and guess what?

I'm 39 and it's still not easy for me,

but I didn't start as young as you. So,

I think you have way more promise. Okay?

Way more promise in all of this. So,

don't be hard on yourself. acknowledge

like, "Hey, I'm still learning these

things and I'm not perfect at it yet."

And um and that's okay. You don't give

up on yourself. You just say, "Look, I

I'm not totally there yet." But I would

also ask you, have you ever said it out

loud? Have you ever called the feeling

right away? You try you you you're

getting angry. You take a deep breath.

Have you ever said to your like said out

loud, "I'm getting angry."

Okay, so let's try that next time. Maybe

say it out loud. Even if just kind of

under your breath like, "I'm getting

angry." like you know like just a

whisper. It can even be like if it's not

something that you you know you

necessarily want people or you want like

if you could even say it like let's say

um I don't know if you have siblings. Do

you have siblings?

Okay. So you probably get mad at them

sometimes, right? Okay. So maybe we

could say you have brother or sister.

>> I have two sisters and a brother.

>> Okay. So we'll pick on your brother a

little bit. Okay. So your brother um is

is making you angry, right? Um, and you

feel it and you could you could say it

out loud to them as well, like, "Hey,

that's making me really upset." Okay?

Because you're not only acknowledging

how you feel, but you're making them

aware of how what they're doing is

making you feel. Now, does that mean

that they're automatically going to

respect that?

I don't know. It depends on your

siblings. Maybe not. Okay. My kids, they

try this and often times it gets blown

off by the other sibling because, again,

we're dealing with, you know, young

brains who aren't always like ready to

process that. Okay. what that means and

and respect boundaries. It's a learning

curve. But by saying it out loud, you

acknowledge it and you're forcing

another person to at least hear what you

say and they may stop and go like, "Oh,

I didn't really realize that I was

making you upset. I was just trying to

get like a reaction out of you. I just

wanted you to pay attention to me." Um,

so I think saying it out loud sometimes

can be really helpful because it

actually like you hear it and you

trigger your brain to realize that

you're actually doing it. Okay, so try

that. saying it out loud. Try checking

in with yourself. Put up some stickers.

Um, and I think that you may with

practice, just like with anything, what

sport is it that you play, Brooklyn?

>> I play softball.

>> Okay. So, how long have you been playing

softball? Keep your keep your speaker

off for a second. Okay.

>> Um, I've been playing this is my second

season, so I'm fairly new, but I've

played a lot of soccer before that.

>> Okay. So, let's talk about softball. How

do you think that you compare today at

softball than you did your very very

first practice?

>> I think for the most Well, I think I've

improved a lot.

>> Right. Okay. So, same thing goes with

this stuff. Emotional intelligence

doesn't just happen and just being able

to like do it all of a sudden doesn't

just happen overnight. Okay. So, you're

noticing that something you're trying to

do isn't totally working for you all the

time. So, let's get curious. What else

do you think that might help you? Right?

Because you've been you've been handed

some tools and maybe they're not totally

working for you yet. Are you going to

give up on it? No. But like, how do you

think you're your own person? Um, how do

you think that maybe you could help

yourself in that situation? And I want

you to come up with your own strategies.

You know, it's not something you have to

say out loud right now, but I've tried

to give you one more two more tools,

some stickers to like just check in with

yourself that might prompt something for

you to address something before you get

to the point where you're so frustrated

that deep breaths are not working. Um,

or when you got to that point, maybe say

it out loud so that you have to hear it

and you acknowledge it. And that kind of

can break a little bit of the cycle

because you're actually mouththing and

you're saying you're taking two actions

to acknowledge how you're feeling. And

um I'm not saying that that is going to

totally fix this for you. But what I'm

saying is going to make you better and

that's just why you show up to practice

every single day or the days that you

show up for practice is so that you can

get better at the craft you're trying to

build. So you will get better at it. And

if you keep getting curious, you'll

learn more about yourself and the way

that you work individually and the

things that will work for you.

>> Yes, ma'am. Thank you so much.

>> You're welcome, honey.

>> All right, Benny, we're going to go

ahead and let you be the last question

just for um the time so we can honor

Misha's time. So, go ahead.

>> Um I was wondering um because you're

very confident, were you always this

confident or

>> Good question.

>> What made you so confident? Like who or

what?

It's so This is so good, Benny. Thank

you for asking that, sweetheart. Um, no,

I I certainly wasn't. I think I was a

very broken person for a very long time.

I think that I found my value in trying

to please others. I think that um I was

disconnected with myself and or with God

and or with my loved ones. For a long

time, I felt like I was very lost and I

was in a relationship that was quite

abusive for a really long time. And um I

I think this is what's so interesting is

that I used to hear this all the time

that women would like look at me and

young girls would look at me and be

like, "Oh my gosh, she's like the I

beacon of strength, right? She's the

icon of strength. She fights for a

living. She gets into fist fights. Like

she's so tough." Um I used to hear that

all the time. And I used to think you

have no idea what I'm going through and

um that I appear tough to you on the

outside and perhaps I am but to my own

detriment that I was breaking myself. I

was I was I was being crushed under the

pressure of

trying to to to you know, as I

mentioned, kind of bringing this back

full circle, seeking the happiness, um

but really being so lost in all of it.

And I was so not confident that I put up

this fake persona

um of, you know, smile and act tough and

like my muscular exterior, you know,

would like show people like I'm strong

and I I'm I I fight for a living. Like

how how could I not be considered

strong? But inside in my heart, how I

actually felt was nothing like that.

Okay. I felt very scared. I felt very

vulnerable. I felt afraid to be

vulnerable. I felt afraid to feel my

feelings. And so I hid them. I hid my

feelings and I chose not to process

them. And I tried to find happiness in

materialistic things, including winning

my world title. And when I won my world

title, it was probably I I it was

actually the beginning of the worst time

in my life. So, you would think when you

accomplish all the goals that you set

out to do, like you would ultimately be

happy. That's what I thought. And then I

I did it and it actually broke me

because I realized that happiness wasn't

on the other side of that. That I needed

to heal in order to have peace and that

peace is actually where your value in

life comes from is really having that

peace. So um it was a process and it was

a journey but a lot of it started with

curiosity and asking myself questions

and trying to understand why I feel the

way that I feel checking in with myself.

Um instead of judging myself I try to be

my own like I try to be a best friend to

myself. I want each and every one of you

to ask what kind of a best friend are

you to yourself? What is your internal

talk like? How do you talk to yourself?

My mom is the kind of person it's just

like if she makes a mistake or turns the

wrong way, she'll mumble out loud,

Michelle, you're so stupid.

You know, how many times do we do that

to ourselves? Do we talk to ourselves in

a way that's negative and mean and

belittling? Do you think it would be

very nice if someone else spoke to you

that way or you spoke to someone else

that way? Let's say you know your mom or

your friend or someone's driving you and

they make a mistake, honest mistake.

They just they they go the wrong way and

you say to them, "Oh my gosh, you're so

stupid."

Like, or someone says it to you like,

"Oh my gosh, you're so stupid for making

that mistake." That really hurts. Like,

that is not fun to hear. Um, so don't do

it to yourself. There's no excuse for

you to be a bad friend to yourself.

Okay? Um, there's no excuse for that.

So, if you say something and maybe

you're in habit of doing that, I still

do it sometimes, too. I'll catch myself

with that thought of like, "Oh my gosh,

that was so dumb, Misha." You know, and

then I'm like, "Okay, wait, no, no, I

had a lot on my mind and I wasn't paying

attention." And I can take

accountability for that. I was thinking

about all the things that I have to do

and I'm trying to be a good mom and I'm

I'm trying to think about these things

and I just wasn't paying attention. And

that's all that it is. I was I take

accountability, but I don't blame

myself. There's no point in being like,

"Oh, I'm stupid. No, I'm not. I was just

being human. My brain was wandering and

I made the wrong turn." That's it. It's

that simple. We don't need to play the

blame game. So um I think starting to

reframe the way that I talk to myself,

reframe the way that I think about

myself and my actions and others actions

towards me has helped me gain confidence

because of the peace that I have like

real peace like in my heart and my soul

as I mentioned there's nothing that you

could say to me right now that would

hurt my feelings whether it was true or

not true because I accept all of it like

it's it's all me or it's you. If it's if

it's if you haven't done the work on

yourself and if you're not healed, you

may try to hurt me. Not you guys

literally, but someone may try to hurt

you or hurt me. And I just realized like

they haven't done the work. They don't

have the peace. So, how can I be upset

at them? They have no idea what peace is

like. I do though, and I'm not going to

let anybody take it from me.

>> That's a great question. And and I think

something I know that's helped me is is

when I I it it's it's definitely a

practice. And when I'm negative with

myself and I say that the internal

things to myself, I definitely will turn

that and say, "Okay, well, would I have

spoken to one of my daughters like that

or to my best friend?" Because

ultimately, you are your best friend.

And if you can start to get in the

practice of catching yourself when

you're negative and giving yourself some

grace. Um, and Misha brought grace up a

lot in this call and I love that. Um

>> yeah,

>> we are responsible for giving ourselves

grace and and taking the next next steps

forward and we will fail, you know, and

if we don't live in a world where we're

never going to fail at something that we

do and and learning to um to look at our

emotions and be open to our emotions and

giving ourselves grace. This this has

been a fantastic call. Thank you so

much, Miesa, for being here tonight and

sharing with these young ladies. Um, how

can we support you? Where can we find

you?

>> Um, well, I have a podcast that I would

love if any and all of you would take a

look into. It's called Built for Growth.

And it's based on the theme that change

is passive. It happens whether we like

it or not. If so, if you want to change,

life is going to happen to you. If you

want to grow, you're going to make the

choices that are going to help you

navigate life better. So, it's called

Built for Growth. And um there's episode

56 that I had I thought was really

powerful and could potentially um

pertain to this episode. Um so if you

look up episode 56, let me see right

here. Can you guys see me? It's James

Altter and he talks about some habits

and habit forming which I thought maybe

we would get into this call but we end

up it it went organically another

direction which I think is great.

Although there are some habits I do want

you but it's it's more we talked about

the emotional intelligence and the

habits that are built with that

habitually dealing with our our thoughts

that just come into our brain. That's

called being human. Okay, we have these

thoughts that just come in and we're not

always going to like it and that's okay.

How do we deal with it? Okay, stickers,

habits, check in with yourself and then

every once in a while change where the

stickers are because you're going to get

used to them. And then um deep breaths

and saying things out loud. Like these

are little habits that can help us with

our emotional intelligence. And if um if

Lucy wants to ask a question and you

guys don't mind, I'm okay on time.

>> All right. Go ahead, Lucy.

>> Okay. So, um it's built for growth

episode 56, right?

>> Yes.

>> With James Altter. thought was a really

neat episode that talks about some

habits. He writes he he talks about this

part of your brain. He calls it the idea

muscle. Okay? So like when we work out,

we work our physical muscles, but like

how do we work our creative muscles in

our brain? Um so every day he writes

down 10 ideas and it could be about

anything.

Could be about a book he may want to

write someday. It could be about um

gosh, like literally anything. Um 10

ways that you could maybe get better at

soccer. It could be about um 10

different hairstyles you think might be

cute on you, like how you might want to

cut your hair next time. 10 different

ideas on that. It could I'm saying

anything.

10 different names you if you ever got a

cat, what you might want to name it.

Okay. Um anything. But it's just once

you get I think he says once you get to

like idea seven or eight, you really

start to kind of your brain kind of

starts to sweat and you have to like

really get creative on that last few,

but you're you're exercising that idea

muscle. And um I loved his thought

processing. I think he's just a very

interesting, intellectual, brilliant

man. I thought that was a a great

episode that you all may like to listen

to. Um, and otherwise, if you guys

wanted to follow me on any other social

media platforms, it's just mostly just

Misha Tate. So, it's M I E S H A, which

I think you probably see down there in

the screen. So, I see all your names.

Um, and you guys could just follow me.

I'm I am transitioning my brand, my

presence on social media from being a

fighter to talking about women's health

and optimization and hormones. So, I

think there's something for all of you

in all of that, especially you young

ladies. If I knew the things that I know

now earlier, I think I would have been

much better off just um understanding

everything that women go through every

single month. Um as we begin cycling, uh

we are preparing for

we're basically preparing for pregnancy

every single month, whether we are

looking to get pregnant or not, it's

what our bodies are doing biologically.

So every time that we have that, it's

very expensive. Did you know that in the

second half of our cycle, we as women

burn an average of one to 300 more

calories than we do in the first half of

our cycle. Okay? So if anybody ever

suggests a diet plan to you that says

you got to eat this many calories and it

it's throughout the entire month and it

never changes, it wasn't made for women.

It wasn't made for girls. Okay? And it's

important that we we understand this as

young women and as women of all ages,

but I want you girls to know this that

um most of the science and research

that's been done out there has been done

for men and we are not small men. We are

entirely different beings with entirely

different blessings. Um, so it's just

important that we understand that and I

really want to be a voice because I

trained most all of my career um,

according to like a male model and I

really gave myself no grace in being a a

female or a woman and I really actually

hurt myself. I hurt my hormones. Um, and

uh, it was it was damaging for quite a

long time actually twice in my career.

um that happened to me and I just didn't

know what I didn't know. So, anyways, I

hope to be able to pass that along to

all of you ladies and give you some

empowering um messages and and real real

information on um the health and

well-being and performance and how to

optimize for being a lady because it's

awesome to be a woman, but it's not fun

to be misunderstood. And so, I think,

you know, information is power.

>> Absolutely. And again, thank you again,

Miesa, for taking your time to be here

tonight um and sharing with these young

uh young women and good to know where to

find you and I definitely am going to

check out your podcast and um very

interested in that. So, thank you. I'm

going to keep them around for a little

bit of debrief and um again, thanks for

being here.

>> Absolutely. Good luck to all of you. So,

I I hope that some of this resonates and

that you try some new things. And always

remember, get curious about your

feelings instead of reacting to them.

It's really helpful. Thank you.

>> All right. Thank you.

>> Thanks, Misha.

>> Byebye.

>> All right, that was great. So, here's

the thing I want to ask you. Were you

nervous about asking a question? You

were it. Did you have like a I don't

know what to ask her? Like she she was

one like I've interviewed a lot of

people and then sometimes we have people

on that that just they talk the whole

time and then they end up you they end

up answering your questions. You're

like, "Oh gosh, like she's already, you

know, I thought of a question but then

she answered it." So, and then sometimes

you get somebody on that that you know

is doesn't share a whole lot of

information, but you'll hear something.

And that's why I was saying it's really

cool to be able to come with a little

notepad and a pen and jot down. Also,

something that I do prior to getting on

these calls. So, I know Misha, we've had

Miesa on for uh the women and then I've

actually got to meet her at our um

family reunion. is if I don't know the

person, um, I like to look them up. So,

I get on the internet and I'll Google

search them or I'll see if they have

podcasts and I'll watch a podcast and I

try to come up with some things that I'm

interested in that they they talk about

so that I can ask a question and be

selfish about that on these calls. So,

that's what you want to look at. So the

next time we have a mentor, um, take a

little bit of time because we'll post it

in the event section, take a little time

to go and say, "Okay, who is this

person?" You know, what is she about?

What is he about? Like what, you know,

what kind of business do they own? Do

they have kids? Like what are some of

the things that you're interested in

getting to know about him? And for next

month, we're having on Amber L, and

she's super cool. She was on Fieldcraft

Survival and she talks all about just

like being super prepared and being

aware of your surroundings and we've had

her on before and she was really

amazing. So, she's a good one to

research ahead of time and yeah, she was

one of my favorite calls. So, I'm

excited about that. Yeah. So, it again,

it's you just being selfish and asking a

question that that hey, maybe it doesn't

maybe she didn't even talk about it at

all on the call, but you saw something

about this particular person and you're

very interested. Just ask the question

cuz that they trust me, they want to be

able to talk about what they know about,

you know. So, um, anybody else have any

questions about any of the challenges

we're doing inside of Apogee that

anybody needs any help with? Uh, maybe

the monthly challenge that's happening

right now.

All right. Well, so here's what we do at

the end of these calls. I ask you to go

in and drop your biggest takeaway. So,

there is something that you learned from

tonight's call. What did you learn

about? And it doesn't have to be like a

three minute video. It can be like, you

know, 90 seconds or less. This is what I

learned about. So, I'll give you for

example

tonight. I learned about not stuffing my

emotions and actually talking about them

or sharing them and processing my

emotions.

And my next question to you is, what

action will you take so that you

actually learn that lesson?

So for me, I just told you I learned

about my emotions. Like I don't want to

stuff them. So tomorrow morning when I

journal, I'm going to write about an

emotion that I had today. So whether it

was I was happy about something or I was

sad about something or ma mad or

frustrated or tired, something about

that question so that I can learn to not

stuff my emotions.

Does everybody get that? So, you're just

going to drop here's my biggest takeaway

from tonight's call and here's the

action that I'm going to take so that I

learn this lesson.

>> Good.

>> Can you also

post those questions on

uh the on a

>> Yeah, we can. So, what do you think you

need to do? Like if you go right after

this call, what what do you think you

need to make a video about, Lucy?

about mostly like what we learned.

>> What did you learn? And then what's the

next thing?

>> What did I learn? And then what else am

I going to do? Brooklyn,

>> um what your next step is going to be

like how you're gonna implement it so it

sticks.

>> Okay, good. So, biggest takeaway from

tonight's call is whatever you learned

and here's what I'm going to do about

it. I might journal about it. I might

tell my mom about it. I might call my

friend about it. I might, you know,

whatever that little action is that

seals it in about something that you

learned.

All right. Thanks, ladies. Thanks for

being here. We'll talk soon.

Thanks, guys.

Bye.