The Maze Runner explained by an idiot

welcome to the miz runer and we start

off with an elevator with a [ __ ] and a

pig in it then go

up open up dudes gather round and

eyebrows jumps down to greet the [ __ ]

pulls him out and he immediately starts

running away because he's afraid and

then eats [ __ ] because he has a mad case

of the panic legs then he gets up and

notices he's in a box fascinating stuff

after that you get someone a tiny jail

cell which doesn't really look that

secure to me i mean what is that some

makeshift for open sticks i reckon you

can break out of that with just a little

bit of boot force anyway this guy abby

comes over and he's like relaxed [ __ ] i

come in peace and he gets in the tour

tells him that it's okay he doesn't

remember [ __ ] that's how they all were

once upon a time in a couple days he'll

remember his name because that's the

only thing they let him remember

something like that and he shows them

the box he came up with which comes up

with a bunch of [ __ ] and a new greenie

every month then he takes him up to this

[ __ ] tower and shows him

the bigger box that they live in and the

[ __ ] is like what's out there listen

this is kind of uh

everything the light touches is our

kingdom type situation okay just don't

go beyond the walls dog then chubby

cheek chuck comes along helps

[ __ ] boy to his hammock when he gets

curious and goes over to the doors and

sees a couple of runners coming back

then [ __ ] chuck blurts out that

they're actually

in a maze and the runners go out to map

the maze every day and study and [ __ ]

and

this just makes him more curious then

eyebrows comes out of nowhere and pushes

him to the ground how [ __ ] boy didn't

hear him coming i don't know

also why the [ __ ] is eyebrow so [ __ ]

violent [ __ ] what's his problem

anyway eyebrows is mean everyone gathers

around [ __ ] boy has a freakout session

then big roar

and wind come from maze which makes

[ __ ] boy soil his undies and then the

maze closes for the day cut to

fire the glade having some kind of

celebration with bonfire and [ __ ] and

[ __ ] is hanging out with his new best

bud newton

and newton gives him a drink and the

[ __ ] goes

oh my god what is that

it's urine the new tells them that

they've been in here for three years and

the runners still haven't found the

solution for the maze because it changes

every night also at night these big [ __ ]

off minus uh

minosaurs what these pick up not even

dinosaurs

these big fuck-off monsters called

weavers come out at night to like

dwell around and do [ __ ] i don't know

they come out and do [ __ ] and no one has

ever seen one and lived to tell the tale

which is a [ __ ] lie

because as we will come to see in this

movie there's a shitty ass zombie virus

and they have this whole banishment

procedure to throw out the infected into

the maze

to keep the rest of the glade safe and

as far as i can tell the only way to get

infected is if you get stung by a weaver

which means there has to have been at

least one dude who got stung

survive the night because gears only

come out at night and come back for them

to know that grievers can sting you and

they infect you and stuff and develop

this whole banishment [ __ ]

so that is a lie newt you are a [ __ ]

lying [ __ ] my anyway they get up a

neutrals them around and eyebrows and

invites him to little man on man action

you feel me a little fist play if you

will my eyebrows gives him a good doink

on the head which helps remember his

name which is thomas and they are like

woo

[ __ ] yeah thomas ray's roof [ __ ] then

they all hit the hay and thomas has a

flashback streak and next day alby wakes

him up bright and early to go look at a

bunch of names on the wall and then

while tom helps out with some [ __ ] keeps

suggesting ways to escape and apparently

climbing to the top of the walls doesn't

work because

the ivy doesn't go all the way to the

top what in the pixie fart [ __ ] does

that even mean is he talking about the

wall grass

or vines or whatever if so he's lying

cause check this out right here

freeze frame enlarge enhance boom that's

ivy right there top to bottom he's a

[ __ ] liar again and if that doesn't

work

then just build something geez you build

all this [ __ ] seriously three years and

no one has suggested building

like a really long ladder or something

[ __ ] what dream tricks fart [ __ ]

are you whatever apparently

they tried everything so tom goes to the

woods to get some poop and sees a

gravestone

thing uh grave wood then our runner

shows up like hiya georgie

and attacks tom and runs after him they

run back to the glade and

newt bonks the guy on the head and turns

out he got stung by a griever

which explains why he's acting all mad

cows he's like and now he explains to

tom that there's this infection thing

and ben got stung and he's infected and

he kept saying

[ __ ] like uh it's thomas's fault and he

was there and [ __ ] like that and after

that they get bent out at may's closing

time and pokemon sticks till he either

gets squished by the doors or goes into

the maze at his own will well not his

own well you know they force him and

they feel very bad about then bedtime

comes and thomas has more flashback

memory dreams about this [ __ ] and that

whole wakes up to see albi mino

minho miro milo mojito whatever alby and

north korea going on to the maze to

retrace

ben's footsteps because he got stung

during the day and that's odd because

creepers only come out at night venue

tells tom that albie was the first

person to come here

ever and they wait and wait and wait for

them to come back until the gates start

to close but then korea shows up with

alby on his back however they won't make

it on time so thomas decides to squeeze

through and traps himself

outside and thomas finds out that alby

got stung amino knocked his crazy ass

out and dragged him over here so let me

get this straight he got stung by a

griever and mino somehow was able to

knock him out and carry him all the way

over here without being stung himself

that sounds like horseshit to me must

have been a booby trap or something like

that by the way mino never mentions how

alby got stung he just got stung

because [ __ ] us am i right it's not like

this is important information or

anything whatever creepers be lurking

now so

they take albie carrying them around a

bit and then decide to hang him up from

some vines to hide him but while doing

that mino chickens out because he's a

queefer coming from the distance but

thomas stays and hides from the griefer

underneath the vines and stuff lets it

pass and then gets up and ties the rope

to keep alby suspended up there and why

didn't they just hide him down there

seriously what the f why'd you hide my

god

whatever after thomas ties his [ __ ] he

steps in some pre-cum and

the weaver nuts on him and we finally

get to see the [ __ ] cyborg fleshlight

spider-looking ass up close and tommy

boy runs away

does some minecraft parkour beaver gets

tangled up in some vines and tom sees

mino who intends to lose