Kimmel DESTROYS Trump Over Epstein Files — ‘Release EVERYTHING!’

Nothing says totally innocent like

national TV basically yelling cool then

released the Epstein files. Yeah, they

went there immediately. Watch this.

>> Seems to me the best thing for President

Trump, who I'm sure did nothing wrong,

is to order them to unredact his name

and release all of the Trump Epstein

file so he can prove [cheering]

how unbelievably innocent he is.

>> And that's how the night started. Not

with applause, not with policy, but with

late night TV politely suggesting the

former president hit unredact. Crowd

already laughing, lawyers probably

sweating, Secret Service checking their

blood pressure. But don't worry, it

somehow gets worse because right after

that, they decided to defend him. The

kind of defense you only give your worst

enemy. Wait till you hear this number.

>> Hold on a second. I do want to say

[applause and cheering]

in defense of the president, that is not

correct. Trump's name did not show up

tens of thousands of times. It showed up

hundreds of thousands of times, almost a

million of times. But otherwise, she's

correct. She never even met Jeffrey

Epstein. And yet, they kept her there

and questioned her for more than 6 hours

today. That

>> Oh, yeah. Not tens of thousands.

Hundreds of thousands. Basically, Excel

crashed levels of appearances. The

audience lost it. That's not a

statistic. That's a jump scare. And

while Trump's camp is drowning in math

problems, MAGA Media is doing what they

do best, pretending every speech is the

Gettysburg address with better lighting.

Get ready for the most dramatic

fanfiction you've ever heard.

>> The worse Trump is, the harder Magalan

works to tickle his little pumpkinets.

>> President Trump delivered the strongest

State of the Union speech in modern

history. one of the greatest, most

triumphant uh speeches ever given by a

president.

>> I've been like 19 of this. This is by

far the best one.

>> I think it was the best State of the

Union speech that I've seen.

>> President Trump showed up and show it

out. President Trump was outstanding,

>> epic,

>> masterful,

>> sensational, very inspiring.

>> You know, it was the longest one ever,

but you didn't it didn't feel like that.

>> It didn't seem the longest. It seemed

about right size to me.

>> The time went by very fast.

>> You didn't notice it was 2 hours.

>> He could have gone much longer. Pete

Thresh, these godless politicians. I

mean, it just made me want to wave the

American flag and play Leonard

Skinnard's free.

>> You were proud to be American through

the speech. If you were not chanting

USA, at least in your heart, I don't

know why.

>> President Trump gave a majestic speech

tonight. [laughter]

>> He He still doesn't like you, Ted.

Forget about it. He's never going to

like you. No one does. Majestic. I

wonder

>> That wasn't a press conference. That was

a hostage video filmed by Fox and

Friends. Majestic, epic, masterful.

Bro sounded like they were reviewing the

Lion King. [music] But don't worry,

reality comes back fast because next

they pivot from majestic leader of the

free world to Sharpies and boobs. Yeah,

this escalates quick. Before we

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this.

>> Uh yeah, that drawing he says they have

certain things in common and Trump's

name is signed over in a naked woman's

wonderful secret. Well, of course Trump

has strongly denied that he drew that

even though it's a combination of all

his favorite things. Boobs, Sharpies,

and his name. But still,

he wrote, "These are not my words, not

the way I talk. Also, I don't draw

pictures." Then, of course, the New York

Times dug up picture after picture that

he drew. This one and this one and this

one. Well, guess what? It turns out

there's an email in the files from 2002

that specifically [music] mentions them

asking Donald Trump for a note for the

birthday book. says subject line bday

book update left message for George

Mitchell, Donald Trump, Henry Derki, and

Leon Black. How about that?

>> So, just to recap, allegedly not his

drawing. Except there's a full art

gallery proving otherwise. Picasso of

Mara Lago over here. The crowd is dying.

But then they remembered something even

more painful. His speeches.

Specifically, how they never end. Like

Marvel movies without credits. This next

joke hits hard.

>> Record did they break? You know what

record they broke? It was the longest

State of the Union speech ever. It was

It beat the previous record for longest

speech held by Donald Trump. He beat his

own record. Broke his own record for

being long- winded. He has once again

publicly broken wind. And uh

went on for an hour and 47 minutes last

night. It was the longest speech in

State of the Union history. Also the

dumbest. He beat his own record there,

too. The fact that

>> broke his own record for being long-

winded. Even the teleprompter was

begging for mercy. Somewhere, a clock

filed a restraining order. But then the

vibe shifts because the jokes stop for a

second and they drop one of those lines

where the audience goes from laughing

to, "Oh no, listen to this." Listen.

>> A convicted felon. We have a current

president who is a convicted felon 34

times. [applause]

[cheering]

Jeffrey [applause]

Epstein called our current president his

closest friend. That's about as close as

close as can get. Come on already with

this.

>> That one [music] didn't need a

punchline. Just pure uncomfortable

silence. The kind of joke that makes the

band stop playing. And speaking of

chaos, next they roll tape of Trump

[music] doing what can only be described

as a verbal blender. No sentences, no

grammar, just vibes. This clip feels

like a fever dream. whittleled it down.

We boiled everything to a a 60-second

[music]

easily digestible state of the union for

you.

Everything was stolen and rigged.

Tariffs, tariffs, murderers, tariffs,

fraud, corruption, so much richer.

Tariffs, Somali pirates plundering

America. The Biden administration,

Biden, Biden, Joe Biden, baby, illegal

aliens, murder rates, fentinel, uncle

Enrique. Please, please, Mr. President,

we're winning too much. Boy, oh boy.

We're just always losing. The one where

you put your stick in the back and it

hit the neck of your stick and bounced

off. No money. No money. Selling and

selling and selling. We're making a lot

of money. Millions and millions. Much

more money than people understand.

Nobody's getting paid. How much money is

that? That's a lot of money. How do you

make all that money? Dead country.

Butter, chicken, fruit, automobiles,

hotels, beef. Biden, Biden, tariffs.

Nobody wants to go fishing anymore.

These people are crazy.

[music]

>> We We just saved you an hour and 46

minutes of your life and you didn't miss

anything at all. It was all in there.

>> What did we just hear? Tariffs, pirates,

chicken, money, Biden. It sounded like

someone shook a word document and hit

randomize. Even the subtitles gave up.

But hey, remember he's very respectful,