Confident Grief Coach Highlight Interview with Sarah Johnston

Hello. Hello, Sarah. Thanks for being

here.

>> Hi. I'm excited to be here.

>> Yes, I'm excited to tell the world about

what you do. Sarah is one of our most

recent graduates with the confident

grief coach program and happy to have

her here. She's got an incredible story.

So, Sarah, I will let you tell your

story. could you um just introduce

yourself and just a little bit about who

you are, where you're located, and what

brought you to becoming a grief coach.

>> Sure. Um I'm Sarah Johnston with T

and I live in a I live on a farm in

South Central Texas. Uh 300 acres in

Dwick County, middle of nowhere.

And um this is a place that my husband

and I bought about 20 years ago for my

parents. And um we intended to retire

here someday. You know, we were really

old and everything was good. But nine

years ago he passed away unexpectedly.

Um my husband died by suicide. So I

ended up um down here on the farm full

time and trying to wrangle this by

myself.

But um anyway, yeah, so I lost my

husband to suicide um nine years, a

little over nine years ago now. And I,

uh just decided then like if I survive

this, like I've got to help other people

get through this too because this really

sucks. And suicide loss especially was

extremely lonely and very difficult to

find the help and resources. Um I even

struggled to find a grief group. So, I

just kind of vowed that like this was

not going to happen to anybody else and

um kind of kept me going, I guess, for a

while, but coaching was not really on my

radar. It was just, you know, somehow

I'm going to help other people. Um, and

then a few years ago, you know, you

start to hear about life coaching and

then eventually grief coaching. And

about a year ago, uh, I was just really

struggling. I was kind of going back

through my old journals and research and

things I had done and just trying to

find some strength and stuff, writing

more notes and I again came across grief

coaching and I was like okay you know

you you told yourself you were going to

help other people you've got all these

you know notes and resources like let's

figure out how to do that better and

coaching resonated with me because I've

been an athlete all my life and so

that's just something that like that's

normal to me more so than like say

therapy, going to a doctor. So, um I

really looked into it and found the

confident grief coach and was like,

"Okay, I'm just going to like try the

program out, see if this, you know, if I

can actually do this." And it really did

give me the confidence um that I can.

So, yeah, that's kind of who I am and

how I got to grief coaching, I guess. A

lot of loss.

>> Yeah. Yeah. And you know, you was

everybody else. Most people, I think,

who step into the space have that lived

experience of loss and just that that

embodied understanding of just how

painful it is. And that's really where

that fuel, that passion for like helping

other people and stepping into that role

of a support person. And that's what

makes a great coach, too, right? because

you've you've got all of that experience

from your own journey that you're able

to utilize now as that that force for

strength and support, you know, for

other people as well and supporting

yourself, you know, throughout the years

as well because we know that of course

the pain of loss doesn't just go away,

but it it

>> it uh carries with us over the years,

too. So, um, that's great that you've

been able to find those tools and

resources along your path. And I want to

hear more about that as well, um, about

what you incorporate into your coaching,

you know, alongside the Breathe model

with what you've learned in in a formal

coaching program as well. Um, but first,

I'm wondering if there was some moment

or an insight um, where you kind of

decided that you wanted to officially

pursue coaching. What called you toward

that grief support?

>> Actually, I was like I said earlier last

year like really going through it and I

was in going back through like my early

widowhood journals and you know looking

at that struggle I was like how you know

like how was I getting through this?

Like I was like in hindsight like I

don't know how I made it but like

looking at it you can kind of see the

path and I sat down and realized went

further back in other journals from in

my mom's early dementia because at the

time of my husband's death my mother was

still alive but had had dementia for

over 20 years at that point. So I had it

had that had been a long slow grief. And

so I sat down and realized what got me

through it was the things what got me

through my widowhood was the things I

had learned and gained during my mom's

dementia journey. And so I sat down and

wrote this um essay. was a thank you

note to dementia, which I usually write

hate mail to dementia, but this was a

thank you note because I realized that

dementia had gotten me through suicide

loss. Um, it had really what I had

learned and gained through that is what

kept me hanging on um after Jeff's loss

and even in the loneliness. So, I wrote

that letter and I actually read it to a

daughter of a lady that I was caregiving

for that has dementia because I was

about to submit it to for a writing

competition and I was like, "Can I just

read this? Like, can you just tell me if

this is crazy? Should I even do this?"

And I read it to her and she literally

like just was like, "Holy crap." Like,

I'm not even looking at my mom the same

way. Like, are you kidding me? and she's

like, "You have to share this with other

people. Like, that helped me so much."

And so, I recorded it and I shared it on

my YouTube channel. And I ended up

getting like some religious studies

majors, people going, "Wait a minute."

Like, we've never seen this before. Are

you kidding me? And people coming to me

and saying like that that had really

changed how they looked at dementia and

caregiving and dealing with their loved

one. Um, and that it could be a

beautiful journey. And so um it was at

that point where I was like that helped

so many people like how how can I do

that more? And that's I mean that was

when I like really like I contacted Pat

and I was like okay like show me how to

do this.

How do I put this together?

So I was like I've got to share this.

Like I've got to help people get through

this because this stuff sucks. And I

mean, I did it and came through it and

still laughing like you can, too.

>> Yeah. Oh, I love that. I'm I'm curious

about um where that overlap is from your

experiences with your mom's dementia and

caregiving for her over those years and

how that translated into navigating

suicide loss with Jeff's loss. what

where where did that overlap or that um

experience how did that benefit you from

your mom's journey and then translating

to your husband's journey?

So during my mom's journey um early on I

I was I was raised in a you know very

Lutheran you know Christian background

household so I had never like questioned

God or anything but early in my mom's

dementia journey I was like [ __ ] you

like if you can do that to that woman I

got no chance you know and um

I I dug into it I I was like going to

search the Bible and like you know

and instead um I ended up with a bunch

of miracles and more understanding than

I could ever imagine. It totally

solidified my faith.

>> So and my beliefs that if I just you

know like I could pray my way through

the universe was not gonna you like

there was something good that was going

to happen no matter how bad it was. And

so when and for me going back like