Tom Friel: How to Network

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We talk a lot about networks.

Most people don't have any idea how big their networks in fact really are.

Your networks are enormous.

I mean, you start with the people in the room, you start with everybody they know.

You start with people that they know.

You look at graduates of Stanford, people that they know,

the places that they've worked.

Before you know it,

you can define your network literally as being hundreds of thousands of people.

Because anybody who can make a connection to somebody that might be willing to help

you, is in fact part of your network.

And you may not even know who they are, but they're part of your network and

you can make that work for you.

If you want to meet somebody, somebody, usually somebody in

the Stanford Business School alumni, Kim Marie will make that introduction for you.

If you can figure out the right way to get to him and

the right way to ask that question.

GSB alums will usually help.

I'll make this point because I always make it and that is,

almost anybody is going to be willing to help you.

I'd be willing to help you, your classmates would be willing to help you.

Your professors and alumni will be willing to help you, but

very few of them are going to be willing to do your homework for you.

And so, an example, if you call me and say,

Tom, I want to get into, I don't know, venture capital.

Would you introduce me to some venture capitalists?

What?

That's a lazy question, okay?

But if you said, I've got two years in the venture capital industry,

and I'm working on a project that Josh Greene and

More David Dahl is a board member of.

I know you know Josh, because I know you work with him on a board.

Would you be willing to introduce me to Josh Greene so

that I can have a conversation about this project that I know he's interested in?

Now, night and day, those two questions.

The first one general, requires work on my part.

And I'm not going to go do a lot of work to try to figure out what you could have

figured out and didn't.

But the second one, if I believe that that's a very credible question,

it takes me about 30 seconds to pop off an email to Josh and say, look,

this is somebody I think you ought to meet.

And they've specifically picked you out of the hundreds or thousands of venture

capital people because of your experience in this company.

And they're interested in that and they think they have something to add,

would you meet with them for 15 to 20 minutes?

Specific on the one hand, general on the other hand.

They said pick specific targets, make specific requests.

And then if somebody does you a favor, particularly somebody that didn't have

any reason to do it other than they were just trying to help you.

After the thing is done, you met with Joshua Hunter, go back,

send them an email and tell him what happened.

Hey, I met with Josh, thanks for setting that up.

I'm not sure what's going to come out of it, but I really appreciate it,

we're going to stay in touch, thank you.

Believe me, that will pay dividends later.

First of all, it's just good common courtesy if somebody did something for

you that they didn't have to do to call them up and

thank them and tell them what happened because they're probably curious.

It also leaves that door open to go back to them again in the future because

they've got a good feeling about you.

This is somebody that handled that right and

they'd be willing to go do another favor for you down the road.

Whereas I've got a lot of people, I won't name them, maybe I will later a few,

but who seems like every couple of years would call me up and

say, Tom, it's been so long since we've talked.

I really wanted to get back to you and see how you were doing.

Well, I'm doing fine.

[LAUGH] How are you doing?

Well, I'm getting work out of looking for a job.

Well, what happened with the last thing that you called me about two years ago

that he never came back and told me what happened about that?

And maybe I'll be polite to him, maybe I won't.

More likely they don't, somehow I'm out of town or something when

that call comes in and my EA just handles it, it never sees the light of day.

Stay connected to the people who've helped you.

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