TRANSCRIPTIONEnglish

The UK Is Going Down With Kier Starmer - Ricky Gervais

8m 16s1,303 mots222 segmentsEnglish

TRANSCRIPTION COMPLÈTE

0:00

No one believes him. The public don't

0:01

believe him. The MPs on this side of the

0:04

house don't believe him. His own

0:05

gullible backbenchers don't believe him.

0:08

So, does the Prime Minister agree with

0:10

me he's been lying?

0:14

Prime Minister, what please?

0:17

Sorry, we don't use those words and I'm

0:19

sure the members withdraw it.

0:23

Mr. Speaker, I have the greatest respect

0:25

for you and your office, but I will not

0:27

withdraw. That man couldn't lie straight

0:28

in bed.

0:29

>> Order.

0:30

Mr. Anderson, you'll have to leave.

0:34

He is gaslighting the nation. So, let's

0:36

call this out for what it is. The Prime

0:37

Minister is a bare-faced liar and if he

0:39

had any decency LEFT NOW, ORDER. ORDER.

0:42

ORDER. Sit and leave. Leave now.

0:45

I'll name you otherwise and go now if I

0:47

were you. Mr. Is the Zahawi Turner

0:50

be named and leave this house. All those

0:52

in favor? I.

0:54

Leave.

0:55

I'm sorry you've done this.

0:58

I really am.

1:00

Um I hope you're bearing up

1:04

with all this

1:06

It's not even

1:09

It's not even all this [ __ ] is it? It's

1:11

all the uncertainty. That's what really

1:14

gets me down. Maybe I'm

1:16

I don't know.

1:17

Maybe I've got some sort of OCD, but

1:20

even in normal times, if I've planned

1:23

everything,

1:24

if something goes wrong or someone says,

1:25

"Oh, I can't I go [ __ ] cancel it.

1:28

>> [laughter]

1:29

>> Cancel it all. I'm never doing anything

1:31

ever again.

1:33

If I book a flight, but they go, "Oh,

1:34

it's uh

1:35

an hour delayed." Right.

1:38

Never

1:40

Yeah, you're never going to work again.

1:43

Um

1:44

Just everything's up in the air. You

1:45

can't look forward to anything. You

1:46

can't Do you know the worst thing is as

1:48

well?

1:51

Ap- apart from in the devastation and

1:54

the and the deaths and the strain on the

1:57

health service and people losing their

1:58

livelihoods and that, the worst thing is

2:01

the [ __ ] [ __ ] in charge do what they

2:04

want. And because the people in charge,

2:07

the posh privileged people in charge,

2:09

were acting like Charlie Sheen.

2:12

I mean, really rubbing salt in the

2:14

wound. And as I say, I don't get

2:16

political, but they're all [ __ ]

2:20

It's one thing to say,

2:22

as he insists on saying, "Nobody told

2:25

me. Nobody told me anything. Nobody told

2:29

me." The question is why didn't the

2:32

Prime Minister ask?

2:38

Me. Me.

2:42

Mr. Speaker, in relation to her

2:44

question, let me be clear.

2:46

I should not have appointed Peter

2:47

Mandelson.

2:49

As soon as soon as the further

2:50

revelations came to light, I did ask. I

2:53

asked the cabinet secretary to review

2:55

the process so I could be assured about

2:57

the process. He wrote to me on the 16th

3:00

of September setting out the conclusions

3:02

of that review and assuring me the

3:04

process had been followed properly.

3:06

Like the public, I feel let down,

3:09

disappointed, and I am angry.

3:11

Peter Mandelson should never have been

3:13

appointed. This was a fundamental

3:16

failure of judgment.

3:18

Matthew Doyle should never have been

3:20

given a peerage. This was also a failure

3:22

of judgment.

3:24

It has played into the terrible

3:26

narrative that there is something to

3:28

hide and good decent colleagues will be

3:30

accused of being complicit in a

3:32

cover-up.

3:35

When are we going to stop

3:37

taking Went to Eton as a qualification

3:40

to run the country?

3:43

I mean, [ __ ] hell.

3:48

>> [laughter]

3:51

[clears throat]

3:51

>> Oh, so that's why I'm doing this as well

3:54

cuz I I've noticed

3:56

all around, you know,

3:59

there's a lot of um annoyance and

4:01

frustration, totally justified as well.

4:03

Misinformation,

4:05

uh anger,

4:07

anxiety, and depression, you know?

4:11

But I do notice I do I I have noticed

4:13

that it's getting a lot of people down.

4:15

So, um and this this, you know, helps me

4:20

like you you when you can't do stuff,

4:22

you think, "Well, I've got to do

4:23

something." We're built like that. We

4:25

we've got to do something.

4:27

You know?

4:29

It it's um

4:30

So, this is this helped me

4:33

doing this just, you know, talking

4:35

bollocks.

4:37

>> [laughter]

4:37

>> Yeah. Drama. Oh, that's him, is it? Wow.

4:40

Didn't know he had a wig right guy,

4:41

mate. Wow. Right. Wow. Oh, I should have

4:44

brought my boxing gloves out. Right.

4:45

Wow. That's him.

4:47

Huh? Nice to meet you again. Oh, how you

4:48

doing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you

4:50

want me Do you want me to dance? Do you

4:51

know his middle name? What's his name?

4:52

Matthew Hancock the boring guy.

4:54

Here we go. We got Hancock eating the

4:57

drama.

5:00

And I hope [clears throat] there was no

5:01

kids.

5:02

I hope there was no kids watching cuz

5:03

I've said the C-word as well.

5:06

>> [laughter]

5:09

>> I apologize. People are eating their

5:11

tea. [ __ ] slagging off the

5:13

government, just life in general.

5:17

It turns to you and says, you know,

5:19

"Enough's enough. This pressure is

5:21

intolerable." Would you listen to her? I

5:23

always listen to Vic. Um

5:25

and um

5:27

I think she was the one in the first

5:28

place that uh basically said, "Why on

5:30

earth would you want to go into

5:30

politics?" But she is an absolute

5:33

>> to that question now? She is an absolute

5:35

rock um and I confide in her all of the

5:39

time and hers is the best advice

5:41

um and uh

5:43

I'm just thankful that I've got her

5:45

every day. And at the moment she's

5:47

advising to you to keep going. She is.

5:49

Yes. And and um we talk everything

5:51

through um and it's fan- We've also two

5:54

fantastic kids, a 17-year-old and a

5:56

15-year-old. I can't tell you how much

5:58

joy and happiness they bring. They are

6:00

my pride and joy every single day. Peace

6:04

and quiet. More and more peace and

6:06

quiet. Just want peace and quiet.

6:09

That's what I just want peace and quiet.

6:11

I mean, to the extent that

6:15

I I don't know. I just want I

6:18

I want to know what I'm doing. When I

6:20

know I've got a night in or I know

6:22

everything that's that's happening

6:24

tonight and I know when I've got to work

6:25

and when I've got to relax. And then if

6:27

I I've got great night, Netflix. I've

6:29

got my off bottle of wine, Netflix this.

6:32

Someone Someone calls and says, "Oh,

6:34

we're in town. Do you want to do

6:35

dinner?" Oh, [ __ ] hell.

6:38

I wish I was dead.

6:39

>> [laughter]

6:41

>> Only death can get me out of this.

6:47

Um

6:48

Peace and quiet, yeah. Peace and quiet.

6:50

Everyone to be happy. More and more now

6:53

you worry like other people's misery

6:56

spoils it for you. That's a naive thing,

6:59

isn't it?

7:00

Um

7:01

When you can be happy and then you can

7:03

see one thing like, "Oh,

7:05

I could tell a [ __ ] story on the news

7:08

or a bit of animal cruelty." It just

7:09

ruins ruins your [ __ ] day, doesn't

7:10

it? You think, "Oh, I can't enjoy I

7:12

can't enjoy

7:13

myself now cuz I've got to sort I've got

7:16

to sort that out. I've got to save that

7:18

dog."

7:20

Um

7:21

That's why I do everything. Peace and

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